911onabc: Yesss, @/apppleofhisai!!! You Crushed That!!! #911onabc

A PROGRESSION OF KISSES

He's certified.

I take my job very seriously 😊

Sorry for the awful hand writing 😆

💔 i miss tommy kinard ꒰(˶◞ ‸ ◟˶)꒱

i was yapping at @sazzynatural about my hurdle headcanon and then my hand slipped and now here we are, i guess!

"Hey, Evan?"

"Yeah?" Buck calls, from where he's checking through his cupboards, making a shopping list. Tommy doesn't respond immediately and he turns back from where he's surveying the spice rack to look at him. "What's up?"

Tommy has that fond look on his face that, as far as Buck is concerned, might as well just be what his face looks like. The way that Tommy looks at him lights him up inside. He doesn't think anyone has ever looked at him that way, the way that he catches Tommy looking, so soft and endeared, like just looking at Buck makes him happy. It's - 

"I love you."

Buck's heartbeat roars in his ears. 

"Y-you - um. What? No, wait, I mean. I heard you. Tommy, that's - "

"Evan." He still looks fond, and that should be impossible, because Buck is screwing up, he has ring-side seats to this, is actively watching himself screw up, and Tommy's still looking at him like - like that. "Stop spiraling. You don't need to say it back, I just wanted you to - "

"No, no, it's not - uh - I, uh. I said I'd meet Maddie for coffee during her shift and if I don't leave now I'm gonna be late, so I, um. C-can we talk about this later? O-over dinner, maybe?"

Tommy's shoulders slump a little at that. "Uh. Sure. If you like."

"Uh-huh, yeah, that'd be great, I'll be back, don't uh - don't go anywhere, I won't be long, I just really - really need to get that coffee with Maddie, I can't be late but uh - that's - that's great, Tommy."

He sees Tommy's eyebrows go up, sees him mouth great, and then he's out the door.

Oh, shit.

***

The drive to dispatch goes in a blur, and he must look pretty freaked out because as soon as Maddie sees him, she quickly finishes her call and drags him into the breakroom.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"I - I thought we could get coffee," Buck says lamely, and she gives him the big sister eyebrows. "Really," Buck says a bit frantically. "Can - can we have coffee?"

Maddie rolls her eyes, but she pours them both a coffee and hands him his, putting the table between them and leaning against it.

"I have fifteen minutes. Talk."

"Tommy said he loves me," Buck blurts.

"Buck, wow. That's amazing." Maddie's eyes widen at him over her coffee cup. "Wait. Not amazing?"

"I didn't - uh. I didn't say it back?" Buck says, and feels his heart sink. 

"Wait, you didn't?" Maddie tilts her head, looks honestly baffled. Which - fair. Buck is a little obsessed. "Do you - not?"

Of course I do, Buck thinks. How could I not?

"I - I'm being intentional," Buck says, and it sounds hollow already. "I don't wanna rush it and I had like - a timeline."

"Did - did you tell him about the timeline?"

"N-not in so many words," Buck admits.

"Evan! Please tell me you didn't just run out on the poor guy," Maddie pleads, over the sound of the breakroom door opening again. Buck doesn't even care about a potential audience, he's so suddenly miserable at the way he left Tommy at the loft.

"I - I didn't run," he says although - it was probably a close thing. "I…I told him I had to get coffee with you and we'd talk about it later," he admits, his voice getting smaller with every word.

Maddie's face does the thing - the scrunched up pout like she's holding back on telling him that he's a damn moron. Buck scrubs his hands over his face.

"Is this Buck's hot pilot?" Josh asks from where he's pouring coffee.

Buck hears Maddie's mm-hm. 

"He said he loves me," he says, still hiding behind his hands.

"Con…gratulations?" Josh says dubiously. "Or, how awful for you? I'm really not clear on the desired response here."

"He thinks it's too soon," Maddie says. "He had a timeline. Which he did not share."

"We were taking it slow!" 

"I hate to break it to you, but the way that man looks at you is not slow," Josh says.

"He's not wrong," Maddie says, and Buck hangs his head. Because they're right. They're both right.

"Look, you know me. I stumble into things, I end up too serious too fast and it blows up in my face. I - I really didn't want it to blow up in my face. And then he just goes and - and looks at me like that, and says that, and I don't - guys, I think I really screwed up."

Maddie gives him a sympathetic look. 

Josh gives him a deeply, deeply unsympathetic one. "Oh, I have totally dated a Tommy."

"I'm sorry, what?" Buck glares at Josh who looks supremely unimpressed.

"Calm down, ankles," he tuts, and Buck is absolutely going to kill Eddie. Or Chim. He's going to kill someone. How does everyone know about that? "I said I dated a Tommy, your man's virtue is safe."

"What does that mean, you dated a Tommy?"

"Look, not everyone knows when they're five like me, and not everyone goes from adorably clueless to out and proud as fast as you. Sometimes, and I know this might be a little revolutionary for you, Buck, but sometimes the queer experience? Fucking miserable for a really long time. So sometimes you just want to grab happiness where you can find it, as soon as you find it."

Buck thinks about the things he's learned about Tommy over the months they've been seeing each other, each one a little treasure to be hoarded, a part of the puzzle that makes up the man that he already can't imagine life without - the asshole father, the dead mom, the army, the closet, the loneliness - and he wants to slap himself. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, his heart sinking further at the message Tommy's sent.

Do you want me to cancel the reservation?

Buck turns his phone to show Maddie and Josh the message.

"What reservation?" Maddie asks

"Dinner," Buck says miserably. "Date night."

"Okay," Josh says. "Some of us are supposed to be working and don't have time for your little baby bi crisis. Evan Buckley, are you actually going to fumble that man? Before you answer, be aware that two thirds of the population of WeHo will get a hard-on the moment he's back on the market even if they won't know why."

"He's not going back on the market," Buck snaps. "I just - I just need to talk to him."

"There we go," Josh says, rolling his eyes and disappearing with his mug of coffee, and an idiot called back over his shoulder.

Maddie's a little kinder, hugging him quickly. "Tell him how you feel, Buck. Talk it out."

***

By the time Buck gets back to the loft, he has another message from Tommy.

Hey, I headed back to my place. Let me know if you want to talk, or if you want dinner. I'm sorry if that was too much. It doesn't have to change anything.

"Goddamnit," Buck grumbles, throwing the Jeep back into gear. The drive to Tommy's has never felt so long, and he sits outside for long enough that the neighbor across the street is just openly staring through the blinds. It's enough to propel him out of the car and up to the door.

It takes Tommy a minute to answer when Buck knocks and he looks - surprised to see him, honestly. Buck feels a horrible twist of guilt.

"Can I come in?"

"Evan. Of course. You want a coffee or something?"

"No," Buck says, trailing Tommy into the kitchen. "I - I did have one with Maddie, I'm kinda…vibrating out of my skin enough as it is."

"I'm sorry. That's not what I was aiming for."

"Y-you don't need to be - Tommy, I - "

"Hey, look, it's fine," Tommy says, and it looks like he really believes it. Like it really is completely fine that he told Buck he loves him and Buck's response was to buffer internally for a minute and then run out of his own damn apartment like his ass was on fire. Tommy taps his knuckles on the table between them in what Buck recognises as a nervous gesture. "I know that I'm not - I'm not the forever guy, and that's okay. I didn't say it to make you say it back. I said it because it's true and I wanted you to know."

"What are you talking about?"

"That I - " Tommy honestly looks a little puzzled. "What I said, this morning. It wasn't - there weren't any strings attached."

"You're not the forever guy? What the hell does that mean?"

"Just that - that I know I'm not exactly a…long-term prospect, and that's okay."

Okay? It's so far from okay. It's the worst thing Buck has ever heard.

"How are you not a long-term prospect? That's - that's the dumbest thing I ever heard, take that back."

"Evan. I used the L word and you couldn't get out of there fast enough. It's okay. You don't have to try to make me feel better. It's fine."

"It's not fine," Buck snaps, rounding the table to get closer to Tommy, catching hold of his wrist. "I'm not - look, I had a timeline, which, Maddie pointed out I didn't actually tell you about that, so that's my bad. But it was a timeline for me, to stop me going too fast and falling too hard and - and going full Buck. I didn't expect that you would - "

"Stomp all over this mysterious timeline?" Tommy asks, his eyebrows going up.

"And I'm now realizing how stupid that was. Did - did you mean it?"

"Evan. Of course I meant it." He glances down at where Buck is still squeezing his wrist, not quite holding his hand "I - honestly, I didn't think it would come as a surprise, I'm not exactly - "

"I love you."

Tommy blinks. "Evan - "

"Please believe me. Tommy. God, I screwed this up so bad, but - I do. I do love you. You are the forever guy. You're my forever guy. I promise. I just - I was just scared. But about me, not about you. Never about you. Tommy, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I - "

"Evan. Say it again."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Buck lets himself sway forward, lets his forehead meet Tommy's shoulder. "Not the forever guy. You're a goddamn idiot is what you are."

"I'm your idiot," Tommy promises, and Buck laughs shakily.

They love each other. They love each other.

Evan Buckley and Tommy Kinard 7x04 - Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

can't believe it's been a whole year since that first kiss

lou ferrigno jr, my 40 year old babygirl

-Sue Zhao

A Breakdown of BuckTommy's Storyline Going Into Season 8 - Part I (Gerrard)

For reference, here is the EW article.

I wanted to provide an analysis of what the EW article and other promotion may mean for Buck, Tommy, and their relationship going into season 8.

The first mention we get of Buck is in the title - he's "struggling." He is having a hard time getting used to Gerrard's leadership of the 118. Tim Minear says it is "harder for Buck than the rest." Eddie was in the Army, and Hen and Chimney have both served under Gerrard before. Tim mentions that Hen and Chimney both have other reasons to worry about Gerrard - their foster licenses. Hen and Karen are in the process of trying to get custody of Mara back, and Chimney and Maddie are currently fostering Mara. He says of Hen that "[s]he can't be written up at work," and presumably the same thing applies to Chimney.

We know that Ortiz and Gerrard are working together - Tim posted a still showing the two of them together and he stated in the TVLine preview that "they are connected in many ways" - a hint to how Gerrard regained captaincy at the 118, perhaps.

Regarding Eddie, Ryan Guzman has already posited that, with Gerrard's captaincy, Eddie may "be a soldier that keeps on going." He also said that he wants Eddie to punch Gerrard, and in the same article mentioned that he is interested in seeing Eddie "[h]aving that volatility [he made a previous reference to Eddie being a "very emotional individual"] and suppressing it."

We know that Eddie is preoccupied with Christopher's temporary move to Texas. He is still "mourning" and trying to contact Christopher, whom Tim Minear hints is not interested in hearing from Eddie. Eddie will "have to take a look at himself" and discover who he is once everything else he has used to define himself is stripped away.

Turning back to Buck, he is going to struggle with Gerrard's captaincy for another reason other than Gerrard's bigotry - he has never had a captain other than Bobby, and he also views Bobby as his father. It is a dual blow to him. With his friends understandably preoccupied, I think Buck will have to face against Gerrard's captaincy without the level of support he would have assumed he had. Hen, Chimney, and Eddie will not like working under Gerrard. Gerrard will discriminate against them. But they have worked in these environments before and they have reasons to not stand up in the manner that they may want to. Buck has not worked in an environment like this, and he has newly discovered that he is a minority.

Whether Gerrard is aware that Buck is bisexual - and dating Tommy, who Gerrard hates - at the beginning of season 8, I am not sure. It would lead to dramatic tension if he were to discover it during the season itself, so I believe that's what will happen.

The TVLine preview suggests that Buck will go complain to Tommy after dealing with Gerrard. Considering Tommy mentioned Gerrard, indirectly and directly, three times in Season 7, it is safe to say that he will be involved in the storyline. I think, no matter when Gerrard discovers Buck's relationship with Tommy, he will immediately recognize it as a spot that he can poke at.

It's clear that Gerrard and Tommy currently hate each other. When Gerrard first sees Tommy after a number of years, his first action is to call him a slur. Tommy has mentioned working under Gerrard was "regressive" and that it "did not make [him] a better person." He also stated Gerrard was like his father.

Where Bobby is the benevolent patriarch of the 118, Gerrard is his dictatorial mirror. The Gerrard storyline makes sense for Buck and his daddy issues, and is an interesting way to explore Buck's new relationship with Tommy at the same time. I think there will be some tension between the two of them, mostly due to Tim Minear's philosophy that if they're happy, they're off-screen - and given what he's said so far, he does not want to keep Buck and Tommy's relationship off-screen. I think they will work out whatever tension there is from Gerrard and become stronger as a couple for it.