Being A Fan Of Dracula Is Embarrassing For Me For Some Reason. Like "here's My Otp It's A Deranged Lawyer

they should invent a medicine that makes the aching jagged wound in your soul close

Where can I find a friend who shares the same hyperfixation as me? FYI it’s a 128 year old novel about a silly little english lawyer who goes to stay with a weird guy™ who doesn’t show up in mirrors, has questionable bedtime habits, and can scale walls like a lizard.

I get it we all love a gay relationship and Mina and Lucy would be the cutest couple but let's not erase the very real love Mina and Jonathan share, theirs is not a lavender marriage

they invented a new low just for me

More things that get left out of Dracula adaptations

Van Helsing pulls 29 year old Dr Seward's ear like he's still a schoolboy

There's a relationship-establishment flashback between Van Helsing and Seward

In it, Van Helsing accidentally gets cut with something unclean. His then-student Seward immediately drops everything to start sucking on the wound raw

At one point, Seward asks to become his "pet student again."

Dracula has a big, permanent scar on his forehead from Jonathan Harker's shovel

Arthur Holmwood saying "Tally ho!"

Transylvanians conclude that the delirious, amnesiac Jonathan Harker is English due to "his violent demeanour."

Despite attempts to keep low profile, Dracula gets into the news twice in two months (in one of them as a missing dog)

Dracula getting misreported as a dog because English people have never seen a wolf

London newspapers treat Lucy's vampire attacks on children as a meme among kids because they don't believe in vampires

Dracula gets sworn at by a British sailor solely because he thinks Dracula is French

Van Helsing baffled why British sailors keep talking about blood and bloom (it's swearing)

Van Helsing is friends with real-life turkologist traveler Arminius Vámbéry, who is his source on the Dracula family

Van Helsing is friends with Hans Christian Andersen and references The Ugly Duckling

Van Helsing getting one-upped by MinaHarker every single time he says something sexist about her intelligence

Dracula failing to destroy the evidence against him because Mina backs up her files

Jonathan getting so mad he hunts Dracula down the walls like a spiderman with a machete

Mina and Jonathan kissing on the mouth in front of everybody

Quincey Morris spontaneously gifting Mina the Victorian equivalent of a MacBook Air

Quincey Harker

New Dracula stage play.

Cynthia Erivo as 23 characters.

Sounds grea--

*sigh*

Hey uh @re-dracula what the FUCK was up with the pro-Trump commercial I just heard at the beginning of an episode??! Do you all pick your commercials or are they out of your control?

“Under President Biden costs skyrocketed” um actually shut the fuck ALL the way up right now. Trump is literally adding extra taxes to every item just for fun.

Once more have I seen the Count go out in his lizard fashion

Herr Englishman turn back you are full of das deathflagsten