Staying Alive Was Never Jason's Strong Suit

I’m never working at Giant again.

SO THEY MADE WOOLY MICE USING MAMMOTH GENOMES AND I LOVE THEM

NPR

Hoping to revive mammoths, scientists create 'woolly mice'

Hoping to bring the giant, ancient animal back from extinction, scientists have created a far smaller woolly creature. Woolly mice have some

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

Here are the official English lyrics of the S2 ending theme song of Wind Breaker:

Goodbye, the me of the past

Have I become a little stronger?

The beginning always comes from believing

I know what I must do

Alright

Good luck, the me of the future

Let go of unnecessary pride

If I pour what I can’t lose into my fists

Will I come to understand myself?

Oh oh oh, the heart that never sleeps

Oh oh oh, the time has come

I will rock me

Always, I’m chanting “it’s myself”

But even for myself

Doubts increase and tears dry up

Even if I’m scared, I take my trembling palms

Tightly clench them and become a lion

Can I protect everything?

Goodbye, the me of the past

Let go of unnecessary burdens

With just a small spell of four bars

I can go somewhere far away

Oh oh oh, the flame that hasn’t gone out

Oh oh oh, the time has come

I will rock you

Just tonight, just for tonight

Reach out your hand

Caught in the rain, look up at the rainbow

A heart soaked in the rain will be reborn

Even if we’re apart, even if they laugh

Don’t give up on your dreams

No matter what happens, I’ll follow my own senses

I won’t let anyone stop me

Always, I’m chanting “it’s myself”

But even for myself

Doubts increase and tears dry up

Even if I’m scared, I’ll hold onto my unyielding feelings

Tightly embracing them, becoming a lion

I’ll change something

Oh oh oh, I have to go now

Oh oh oh, without looking back

Oh oh oh, I’m sure it’ll be okay.

It's so wild when you think about how much of a shift the batkids had after they were adopted by Bruce, because NONE had a sibling and were like-

Dick, who accidentally walked into Tim's room, spotting the robin shrine he has there:

Tim: ...I can explain

Dick, walking out: Nevermind! It's my fault for wishing for siblings when I was a kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Who the hell tweeted 'skibidi toilet rizz' 56 times from my twitter?!

Tim, salty about the titans tower incident, laptop in hand still open to Jason's twitter account:

Jason:

Jason: I wish Bruce had adopted a puppy instead of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, fuming after Bruce got them a shared hotel room on a vacation: I miss the days when I was an only child

Tim: Didn't your mom make like two thousand clones of you?

Damian: I would've preferred sharing my inheritances with all 2000 of them instead of you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, entering his room at the manor after a patrol and spotting Duke on his bed and immediately shrieking: BRUCE, THERE'S A RANDOM KID IN MY ROOM

Bruce: Dick, this is your newest brother, Duke

Dick: And you gave him my room?!

Duke: Wow, the colour scheme in here is so 80s

Dick: Consider me and you estranged from now on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Jason, unblock your brother, he is currently crying in the living room because of it.

Jason, had blocked Dick after the thirst trap Dick posted got over 100k views on tiktok and now everyone and their sibling was asking for Dick's number: What brother? I identify as an only child.

reblog to tell your mutual you’re proud of them and it’ll all work out

I have been nothing but nice to this woman and this is how she repays me? By putting me in the clothes of the enemy?!

Emily put my best friend in a Joja outfit at the Desert Festival.

Did I cry when I read that last panel the first time???? Okay maybe. Damian is just a baby :(

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