Some Things Dont Change

when he tells you to "take a step up the staircase to adulthood" but then keeps terrorizing you for funsies as if he's some petty teenager and a troll... oh, wait, he is exactly that lmaoooo

p.s. someone help nirei, he's so done with suo's bullshit im crying

Man, TimKon has to have craziest in-laws. Imagine what headache the After marriage dinners get.

Duke: hey um… can you pass the salt *eyeing Lex Luthor*

Lex: *takes the salt but moves it away from Duke*

Selina: God why are you even in here?!

Lex: Because I am Conner’s BIOLOGICAL father unlike you, you stealing broad—

Lois: *tiredly sighs* Oh my God, here we go again…

Bruce: Blood relation means nothing, Lex.

Dick: to quote Maya Angelou: "Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people in your life who want you in theirs”

*Lex proceeds to stand up and points at the person at the end of the table*

Kate: now, this is gonna be interesting

Clark: Lex can you sit down?

Lex: for all my Intellect and prowess what I don’t understand is…WHY ARE THEY HERE!! *points at the Al Ghuls*

Talia: quit embarrassing yourself, Luthor. Timothy is my beloved’s son and brother to two of my sons—

Selina: *looks at Talia tiredly* would you please move on?

Talia: No! *slams the table* you are only his Girlfriend. While I am the Mother of his sons.

Selina: No sane mother trains her children to be weapons of war *pulls out her nails*

Talia: you haven’t seen this mother. *pulls out a sword*

Damian: Mothers, can you all stop? It’s embarrassing.

Minkhoa: as far as I’m concerned, I’m the spouse.

Bruce: Please I beg of you don’t do this Minkhoa

Jim whispers to Barbara: is it always like this?

Barbara whispers back: only during holidays

Jim: remind me not to attend during it

Stephanie: I could get why Talia is here but why is he here *sideeyes Ra’s Al Ghul* Didn’t you steal Tim’s spleen?

Ra’s: I am Talia’s father which makes me the detective’s father-in-law, by extension Timothy’s Grandfather.

*Alfred audibly cocks his shotgun under the table*

Jason: Crazy mental gymnastics there, geezer.

Ra’s: It is a shame that the detective’s choice to spend eternity is with that abomination…

Lex: you take that back, he’s genetically perfect! He’s half of my crush I meant rival and half of me! Me! you ancient terroris—

*a chorus of outrage erupts*

Jon: WOAH WOAH!

Dick: HEY!!

Luke: neglecting the part where Lex just admitted to—

*cuts short by Lucius Fox*

Lucius whispers: I strongly advise, you don’t add fuel to whatever this is, Luke.

Minkhoa: I mean he’s not wrong…

Tim leans on Conner: Welp, that checks my ‘racism at the table’ bingo card

Jean Paul: You are all sinners! I condemn this unholy matrimony! No man can marry a man much less born out of unnatural means!

Conner: There goes the homophobia one *checks the bingo card*

My favorite obscure DC trivia lore is that Dick Grayson was a candidate for the Green Lantern corp in a comic issue from way back. Because think of the comedy potential. “Night Lantern” is the only GL Batman likes. Hal Jordan gets shit all the time from Batman, but Night Lantern swoops in cheerfully like “where do you need me” during crisis #515273826 and Batman works with him just fine. Even Bruce himself doesn’t understand it.

And, like, people confuse Dick with Kyle all the time. So sometimes they just go with it and pretend to be each other just to keep the joke running.

Maybe I should draw Jason Todd star sapphire edition

windows just...windows man...

he's scared, he's gotta feel guilty for bennings death, and he TRIES. he tries SO HARD to be heroic/helpful but he's clearly SO messed up from what happened. he spends so much of the movie being passive to mac because he wants to help, he wants to feel brave. and it just ends up with his fear finally catching up to him in the worst possible way...

when Clark was a baby and first learning to walk, Jonathan would always follow close behind with his arms out, ready to pick Clark up the second he tripped and fell (as all babies do when learning how to use their legs)

30 years later, when every time he watches his boy—Superman—leap from the front porch and take to the sky, he still feels his arms twitch with the urge to reach out and catch, just in case. even if it’s unlikely that Clark will ever fall again.

I’m on my 3rd rewatch of John Carpenter’s The Thing and

“I ain’t going with Windows”

“FUCK YOU PALMER”

Will never not be funny

Tim, sprinting into Jason’s room, sticking in all directions, looking around with wide eyes.

Jason, on his bed reading a book: What the fuck are you doing?

Tim, quickly looking behind him and back at Jason’s bed: If he asks I’m not here.

Jason: What?

Tim, sprinting so fast he trips back and slides under semi under Jason’s bed. He doesn’t quite make it all the way through, instead having to awkwardly shuffle under: I’m. Not. Here.

Jason: What the fuck.

Dick, dressed in a suit but with a long worm-on-a-string around his neck: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?

Jason, immediately pointing under the bed.

Dick, grabs something and yanking it out: FUCKER. WHERE ARE MY TIES.

Tim, already struggling: YOU GAVE ME PEPSI. I ASKED FOR COKE.

Dick: I HAVE A MEETING TODAY.

Tim: SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SOONER BITCH.

Jason, turns another page.

to the people who came up with kon calling tim sunshine: i owe u my life