Jason Finds Out What Bruce Really Thinks Of Him When Poison Ivy’s Latest Batch Of Pollen Compels Its

Jason finds out what Bruce really thinks of him when Poison Ivy’s latest batch of pollen compels its victims to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. No, Dick, not quite truth serum. More like “spewing whatever’s on my mind right now” serum.

Bruce has just finished sharing the fact that he’s never tried Hot Cheetos yet desperately wants to, despite the shit Alfred would give him and the heartburn it would probably cause. He’s clicking and clacking away at the Batcomputer, trying to synthesize an antidote before he admits something more embarrassing than the time he made out with Oliver Queen in a broom closet at boarding school.

That’s when Jason has a bright idea that he’ll regret later.

“What do you really think of me?”

The response is instantaneous, given with no hesitation. “Baby. You’re my baby.”

Jason glares at the older man. He’s found a way around the pollen. Miserable fucking—

“Dick,” Jason snaps. “What do you think of Dick?”

“Acrobat baby.”

“Tim.”

“Sleepy genius baby.”

“Damian.”

“Youngest baby.”

“Duke.”

“Sunshine baby.”

This is getting him nowhere. Time to think outside the box.

“The clone boy,” Jason growls. “Kon or whatever.”

Bruce levels a flat look at his son. “Superman’s baby.”

“The little speedster fucker Tim hangs out with.”

“Fast baby.”

“Me.”

Bruce smiles warmly at him, and Jason curses internally when he sees none of the tells that usually indicate lies. “Bookworm baby.”

Jason curses again. This isn’t going how he thought it would, and now Bruce is looking at him the same way he does when Damian actually acts his age and falls asleep on the couch, face innocent and adorable. Fuck.

“Fuck you, I’m not a baby,” he grumbles. He could kick himself for not thinking of a cutting remark or a venomous barb, but Bruce is just staring like he wants nothing more than to wrap him up in his old Wonder Woman jammies and read him a bedtime story. Is this pollen making the old man sappy? Ugh.

“Move over,” Jason barks. He pushes Bruce out of the stationary chair in front of the Batcomputer. “Might as well help you with the damn antidote.”

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My best friend who is also a huge Batman fan: What secret??


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5 months ago

The Best Dick Grayson Scene Ever.

<- read this way! <-

The Best Dick Grayson Scene Ever.
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from the Jiro Kuwata BATMANGA!

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6 months ago

Don’t forget Harper Lee and SE Hinton. A fair amount of the literary classics we’re taught in school were written by women LONG before JK Rowling could even hold a pen.

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Can’t believe Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in the 2000s

And in 2015 Emily Brontë released literary clsssic Wuthering Heights

Thank God someone paved the way for them…


Tags
7 months ago
The Superbrothers!!

The superbrothers!!

6 months ago
I've Been Giving My Little Sister Little Forehead Kisses Because She's Just The Right Height For Them
I've Been Giving My Little Sister Little Forehead Kisses Because She's Just The Right Height For Them

I've been giving my little sister little forehead kisses because she's just the right height for them so like I really like to think of Dick doing the same to Tim any chance he gets (it's like an impulsive thought that he acts upon) he started doing it just for the reaction but after a while he just gives forehead kisses as a sign of affection, thanks for this Ted talk<3

7 months ago

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

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littlewing-52 - Where the FUCK is the Bat Signal
Where the FUCK is the Bat Signal

23 - She/Her - Bisexual You can call me Anna Linktree

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