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End Of The Famine

Dazai & Atsushi mutual hurt/comfort fic just… just because. Now back to working on commissions…

Rating: T Words: 5,100 Warnings: pretty extensive discussion of abuse.

End Of The Famine

The concept of sleeping through the night is as foreign to Atsushi as that of countries he’s never visited. The nightmares only came after he left the orphanage, but even then, he slept bit by bit, waking up at every footstep he heard, every rattling of a chain. Atsushi has never fallen asleep at sunset and woken up at sunrise. Fear used to keep awake; the absence of it now knots so tightly in his stomach that the difference is infinitesimal.

Atsushi learned as a child to wake up silently. He does so now, choked out of air, his fist already pressed against his mouth so that no sound will escape. He glances to his side, where Kyouka sleeps like the dead, and turns his back on her. Only then does he breathe.

Only then does he cry.

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I want a Fic where the ADA (or at least Dazai and Atsushi) head out to a convention, and Dazai’s in his Doggo costume, challenging Atsushi to let out his catboi features.

And then of course fluff and crack. Our favorite kitty learns that, well, being a kitty can be quite nice sometimes, outside of battle.

MY IDEAL WORLD. IM SICK TO MY STOMACH. ATSUSHI SLEEPER BUILD HEADCANON PLEASEE

The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.

The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly thinking about/reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge about them.

He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.

Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.

If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars

If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.

In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.

In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.

And the thing is that there are scenes that implies that the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.

Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.

Also little footnote here that I think the scenes with Lucy and Akutagawa in specific are probably references to the moon over the mountain but I digress

atsushi licks his wounds until someone next to him stops him

It is! The headcanon anon!!! I shall give you four fluffy, somewhat cat!Atsushi headcanons right now to make you smile 💜💜💜 Hopefully these are as cute as I think they are! Regardless of how plausible they may or may not be, though, they do make me smile- Hopefully. They can do that for you, too!

- Much like actual tigers will groom each other and their young, Atsushi will also do this!!! It’s primarily reserved for the baby siblings (IE- Kyōka, Lucy, and Kenji), and it’s done in a more human fashion, but I’ve always imagined that he’ll start idly brushing their hair if it’s messy or it he just doesn’t have anything to do with his hands. He’s surprisingly good at giving them cute hairstyles!!!

- I like to imagine that the ADA has an unspoken rule that you Are Not allowed to move if Atsushi falls asleep on you… Like if someone’s pet falls asleep on your lap, you know?

- He bleps sometimes. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. He kitty, he blep.

- Okay so this one might be more funny that fluffy but I feel like the idea of Atsushi chasing a laser pointer is too good to ignore??? Ranpo would absolutely fuck with him using one and it makes me giggle.

Have a nice day, Ray 💜 Make sure to get some rest and sustenance!

Look no I love these and now I'm also stuck thinking about Atsushi being very particular about Dazai's bandages. One starts fraying, they get stained, anything and he's fretting

BUT

he also has the deep urge to bat at them all the time and the struggle is so so real

HC that even under Fukuzawa's ability Atsushi gets moody as it gets closer to the full moon. He gets more easily irritated and tiger features like his fangs and ears pop out more often than usual. Even though the president can suppress the full transformation Byakko WILL want to do kitty things on the full moon and make it everyone else's problem that she can't

[Lovechild AU]

Finally complete