The Duality Of Dazai’s Boyfriends

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shen Jiu | Original Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu Characters: Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Shen Jiu | Original Shen Qingqiu, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Peak Lords Additional Tags: Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Shen Jiu | Original Shen Qingqiu and Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu are Not the Same Person, Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu’s Wifebeam, love that that has a tag, Disciple Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

Transmigrated as a Qing Jing Peak senior disciple, Shen Yuan (now Huang Yuan) is assigned a mission by the system to get the scum villain Shen Qingqiu enough emotional support that by the time the protagonist arrives he won’t turn him into a literal whipping boy for all his displaced issues. Easier said than done! This bastard is so antisocial, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone other than him! Now he’s…Giving him gifts?…Holding his hand?…Talking about auspicious dates for a wedding—WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

A.K.A. Shen Yuan attempts therapy and wifebeams the villain

Hear me out for some EMClownbo. Specifically, soulmate version.

Now, Soulmates are rather common and it's known that they can be platonic or romantic. Why are they known? Simple! There's a few dozen different types but every kind of soulmate connection you can think of is there. Not all at once of course though, and not even people who are soulmates are garentted to have the same kind of connection.

For example, when Evbo writes on his skin, his messages show up on his soulmates bodies. He loves nothing more than to write them sweet little messages and get their reactions back. He doesn't even have to worry about space, because neither can write back to him. Instead, from one of them (EMF), Evbo gets sensations. When EMF bites into a warm cookie and decides to share this feeling with his soulmates, both of them can feel the warmth in their mouth and taste the sweetness even if their mouths are empty. He responds to Evbo's love letters that decorate his skin by kissing his own wrists and arms.

Both of these get the same reaction from their mystery third, flooding them with emotions that aren't their own. Everytime Evbo writes a note or EMF gives a kiss, they get a rush of emotions not their own, a rush of Love-Adoration-Longing-MINE. They will often get poked with Bored-Longing-Pleading-Lonely if they don't send their third their good morning message/kiss. This will always get Clown the desired kisses and messages.

When they finally get to the top of the Temple, Evbo Instantly knows that's his soulmate. Not only does he see his own writing littering their hands and arms, but the moment Clown sees him, he gets poked with, Curiosity-Longing-Hope from his soulmate. Evbo rolls up his sleeve to show the messages on his arm and feels a rush of, Love-Hope-Adoration-Longing that nearly knocks him off his feet. Evbo pays no mind to what Seawatt is rambling about and instead says, "I found you. I found you!" And releases Clown himself.

Seawatt is very confused as to why these two are holding eachother and kissing rather than fighting. Evbo only pulls away enough to say, "come on, introductions can wait. Our third is waiting down below for us." And without hesitation, Evbo is scooped up into Clown's arms as he charges down the course towards where EMF is trapped. Because Clown finally has people who will never leave him like that ever again, ones who risked EVERYTHING to Free Him. Holding and protecting them is much more important that destroying civilization at this moment.

y'all are literally gonna start making me ship clownbo im so serious dawg PLEASE i need yaoi in my system!!!

STANFORD COULD NEVERRRR!!!!!

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What if the creator of your favorite yaoi ship waited 20 years to reveal that they are, in fact, cousins. It's possible, it's frightening, it happened to Kaishin.

It is what it is but like. Can it be something else

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

omg is it christmas? is it my birthday??? cuz omg what a TREAT

Rb to give gender euphoria to the person you reblogged it from