What if the creator of your favorite yaoi ship waited 20 years to reveal that they are, in fact, cousins. It's possible, it's frightening, it happened to Kaishin.
Omega Shen Qingqiu who is fed up with all the courtship gifts he receives. It's okay, it's entertaining, but at this point in his life he is quite tired. His Binghe has fallen (been pushed and stabbed haha oops) into the Endless Abyss, and he is really fed up with courtship gifts and having to answer civilized letters rejecting them.
So, just to spite him, Shang Qinghua sends him a courtship gift. Just to make fun of him. It's a silly little thing, literally. A flower with two long light blue petals pressed with with the description below "Hatsune Miku Flower".
Shen Qingqiu keeps it.
Okay, so if he rejects the courtship, he's supposed to return the gifts and send a rejection letter. But damn! He knows Shang Qinghua did it as a fucking joke to get on his nerves. So, he keeps the damn flower and doesn't waste his time sending the rejection letter.
Shang Qinghua comes over for tea after that, and they stay up later than would be appropriate discussing some fandom shit. In reality, time passes and it is late at night when Shen Qingqiu kicks Shang Qinghua out of his house.
A few days later, Shang Qinghua sends another gift. The truth is that, at that moment, BOTH of them have forgotten the nonsense of courtship gifts and all that. But Shang Qinghua had gone down to the village, had seen some ugly and ridiculously colorful fans, and decided that it would make a great ironic gift for his friend. So he buy them, wrap them with the most delicate care, and send them off.
And then, a few days later, he sends a very ridiculous collection of novels he found directly to his chaotic reader friend. He does so, of course, knowing that he would not be able to carry those books on his return, taking advantage of the parcel service to lighten his trip.
So when he gets to Cang Qiong, he's suddenly being looked at horribly by the other Alphas and he's just—hey, he didn't do anything wrong!!!
Shen Qingqiu enjoys his books, uses his colorful fans exclusively to hit Shang Qinghua, and only once regrettably uses one for a whole day until he realizes it and just hits Shang Qinghua swung his fan very hard, horrified.
Shang Qinghua keeps coming to drink tea, gossip and complain almost every afternoon. He often stays up late at night. At one point, Liu Qingge just stops with Shen Qingqiu to say:
"You shouldn't be with an Alpha who is courting you without a chaperone."
And Shen Qingqiu is just: "???? What Alpha is courting me?"
When Shang Qinghua arrives a while later with some sweet buns for tea, Liu Qingge rolls his eyes and runs away.
And the entire sect believes that they are in a fairly advanced phase of their courtship. Of course, it is a very serious matter; they meet all the standards of taking it as seriously as they should. Gifts, meals, providing for him; even Shen Qingqiu looks happier, using the gifts Shang Qinghua gives him to show how he accepts his courtship, eating his snacks in public, composing new songs for him.
(Shen Qingqiu doesn't compose a shit. He plays pop songs that Shang Qinghua misses on the guqin and enjoy some music he thought he would never hear again.)
When the courtship has already lasted more than half a year, everyone is restless. Although it is true that some courtships are long... The truth is that in half a year, they should already be preparing a wedding! A small ceremony at least! But neither of them seems to talk about weddings, or ceremonies, or trousseaus, or preparations, and they are all NERVOUS.
Could it be that the two peak lords are holding such a private ceremony that not even their pack of peak lords will be invited? That was rude!
Once again, Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua still have no idea what the hell is going on with them. Why do all peak lords behave so strangely? Why do they keep insisting that they go see a fortune teller? What the hell are they talking about???
laishuro is so fucking funny. you fail to propose to a white woman. her brother pisses you off cause of your unresolved jealousy and inability to emotionally regulate. during your blowout fight that resolves this unspoken resentment, he sticks his fingers in your mouth, ask what your mouth is good for, and pulls your hair. you give him a magic bell that will alert you if he needs help. the minute it rings you make a u-turn and find out he played fetch with it. there are bigger problems right now. when its all over, the woman, who was turned into a Creature, marries some elf you've known for a week. the brother becomes king and looks like a full snack in his wolf pelt, which is deeply ironic for thirty different reasons. your love rivals are some blue-eyed bitch who is obviously untrustworthy, a guy who you last saw trying to force-feed you onigiri, and a divorced father of three. you do nothing about any of this and go home. clown behavior.
Some Shen Yuan Toddler AU:
What if Shen Yuan suddenly poofed into existence as a toddler in PIDW after he died?
Like, no system (because I don’t see how that would help or whatever…).
He just suddenly fell into the middle of an important Cang Qiong Peak Lord Meeting and stopped the arguing with his sudden appearance.
Everyone just freezes at the sight of some toddler sitting in the middle of their table looking dazed and confused. Everyone’s minds are going in different directions:
LQG: Demon baby!! Must kill!!
SQH: SYSTEMM!!!! THIS DIDNT HAPPEN IN MY NOVELLL!!! DONT TAKE MY POINTSSS!! THIS WASNT MY FAULTTTT!!!
SQQ: Where did this… thing… come from???
Then after the initial shock, MQF checks for injuries and demonic qi, WQW’s sword also being used to check for anything they can’t detect.
Then after all of the testing they just settle on the story the kid told them. (Which was mainly bullshitting so he doesn’t get killed.) it basically summarizes to a demon attacking his village and the demon hitting him with magic and him appearing here the next minute. (He tells them his parents died so that they don’t try and return him to some nonexistent parents)
And I imagine after that all of the peak lords slowly become more and more attached to their chronically ill mystery toddler and now all of the disciples are witnessing the Peak Lords act like divorcees who are still fighting a custody battle.
Also, I think that Shen Yuan appears a couple years before Binghe does. So when Shen yuan meets a cute little bun waiting to join Cang Qiong a few years later, he tells his guardians about him. Which makes them go into protective mode immediately.
I believe in the end there are 3 most likely candidates for Shen Yuan’s custody:
YQY: He is the sect leader….
SQH: He and the kid found out they are from the same hometown! Plus, they can speak the same language and can communicate easily!
MQF: Our poor baby has a chronic illness!! He needs to be under constant surveillance!
SQQ is close 4th, but he just isn’t that great with kids.
(The way I would kill for a fic of this, but I’m too lazy… actually… I might… idk, don’t hold me to it.)
The thought that Brucie Wayne and Batman being two completely separate entities that Bruce can code switch between has consumed me especially with the idea that he mixes the two together on occasion to fuck with people
~~~~~~~~~
*Batman and Superman searching a dressing room*
Superman: What about this thing, it looks suspicious?
Batman *full Batman voice*: That’s an eyelash curler darling
~~~~~~~~
*OG JLA revealing identities to newbies*
Green Arrow: Your turn Bats, who are you?
Batman having decided to fuck with him walking up to him cocking his hip putting one hand on his chest and in full Brucie Wayne mode: C’mon Ollie-Dollie you know who I am. We dated 💕
Green Arrow (internally): Modem noise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently revealed identities with Clark and Brucie being at the same party
Brucie: oh howdy 🤠 cowboy, fancy meeting you at this shindig
Clark *flustered* (internally): he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman…
~~~~~~~~~
*Bruce getting a call during a JLA meeting*
Brucie: Oh! hello dear, yes of course I’m coming to your party I’ll see you later 😘
Batman: Our security measures need to be increased due to the number of criminals currently attempting to follow heroes to their base of operations
JLA *experiencing whiplash*: what.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*undercover Brucie and members of the JLA at a party*
Bruce *pretending to be drunk wandering over to the flash*: excuse moi but can I get your attention for just a momento😊
Flash *completely disconnecting Bruce and bats*: yeah uh sure sir are you alright
Batman *quiet but deep Batman voice*: there’s an assassin in the rafters
Honestly, I just like monster ultra Rosa for how pink it is- I think we could both use a monster right ab now
😭😭😭😭
I’m a fucking mess but I ain’t stopping
HES REAL
he just goes to another dimension
Shen Qingqiu: Hey Airplane, stupid question, but mpreg doesn't exist in PIDW, right?
Shang Qinghua: ...
Shen Qingqiu: RIGHT?!
Shang Qinghua: Nah, I don't believe so
Shen Qingqiu, wiping his forehead: Phew, you had me for a moment there
A Week Later
Mu Qingfang: You are pregnant
Shen Qingqiu, stewing in rage: This is all Shang Qinghua's fault!
Mu Qingfang: ...Shang-Shixiong got you pregnant?
oh, please don’t go!
i’ll eat you up i love you so!