Okay, So Hear Me Out. There Are Species Of Animals That Reject Their Offspring If They Don’t “smell”

merry yurimas everyone

sunday mornings

Once again thinking about the great joy that is Peter Parker accidentally giving off villain vibes

Current thoughts on that rn are some heroes trying to figure out some horrifying tech Oscorp has been putting out that’s going to cause so much catastrophe and through a series of events, Peter Parker gets pulled in to look at it

Peter just looks at it and immediately recognizes it and goes on this long winded speech about the beauty of the tech while everyone gets more and more uncomfortable

It eventually comes out that he personally worked on the original prototype before getting let go from Oscorp, and everyone’s tensing, thinking they’re about to have to fight a crazed scientist who wants this tech to go out, and they ask him why he was let go

Peter: Oh, because this tech is waaay too dangerous, I urged Norman to drop the project completely, even tried to get HR involved, but got fired instead, I mean, y’know, on paper they put a totally different reason to cover themselves, but it was obviously cause I went to HR 🙄

Headcanon that when extremely sleep deprived Dick tells Jason wayyy too much traumatizing lore about his life.

Bc he kinda forgets that Jay wasn’t there for it

Since he was hallucinating the bastard (yeah I know in canon it was obviously a hallucination idk)

So Dick will accidentally just lore dump about the most insane shit bc well Jason was there (no he wasn’t)

And when he’s offensively sleep deprived it goes the other direction and he forgets that Jason ever came back.

So he’s just in the corner watching what he believes to be a hallucination of his baby brother except for some reason his mind decided he needed to see what Jay would look like grown up.

Dick on day 7 without sleep watching Jason beat up a gang member: maybe my therapist was right

Jason: the fuck are you-?

Dick: Maybe I DO need to go back on anti-psychotics

————————————————————

Dick alone in his apartment with a bag of shredded cheese and a plain cereal box in one hand ready to have what is probably the Most depressing depression meal: hmmm hmmmm hmmm

Jason who climbed through a window while dick was distracted: Sup

Dick: ah look a wild hallucinajason appears

Jason: what the fuck did you the call me

Dick patting Jason’s cheek: oh they’re somatosensory now too! That’s new! Anyway bye bye baby bird

Jason watching his brother leave the kitchen: ….okay what the fuck?

——————————————

Dick only on 3 days without sleep: this reminds of the time I was about the sign my marriage license!

Jason: two things 1) why does a shootout remind you of being at the courthouse 2) WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET MARRIED

Dick: I didn’t get married?

Jason: then what the hell are you talking about

Dick: idk the last time I tried too get married way more guns than necessary were involved and you know when I tired to get married Jay you were there!

Jason “was dead at the time” Todd: what the fuck are you talking about?

Dick: yeah! I mean you really hated her so you told me I’d be a disappointment if I married her and then disappeared. Which like granted I also didn’t wanna marry her but that was harsh

Jason: ….. I? I don’t even know what the appropriate response is? Here

Dick: an apology would be nice?

Jason who is now 50% sure his ghost haunted his brother 25% sure his brother was hallucinating and like 25% sure Bruce used his image as a tool to get dick to do what he wanted: ……. You know what… nah she was a bitch and I’m glad you didn’t marry her

Dick: I mean.. same

—————————————

Dick has a caffeine IV Grayson : this brings me back to the good old days

Jason dodging an alien: ??? When you were Robin ? How?

Dick: no! When Donna died and I didn’t have to worry about saying alive so I could do insane shit like infiltrating an alien spaceship with no protective gear

Jason:??????????????? Dick what the fuck

Dick: OH come on??? You were there! Very quippy 10/10 would be haunted by again

Jason:…. I- yeah you know what I’m not touching this one



their never-ending dance of pining over each other☺️🤭

Boop 🌟

drew this, forgot to post, and then slept for 18 hours straight (i still feel like i haven't slept at all ughhh)

[Reference]

Inspired by Existential Crisis Mode written by @luciaintheskyainthi

DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die

He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.

And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.

Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.

What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.

So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.

The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.

A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.

That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.

"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"

And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."

"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"

Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.

Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.

*Stuck in their civilian identities trying to stop a villain*

Clark: *whispering* Bruce what do we do?!

Bruce: *whispering back, stuck in Brucie mode* I dunno man, usually I just flash my tits and all my problems go away

*Clark’s eyes dart down to Bruce’s unbuttoned shirt and a blush takes over his cheeks*

Clark: Oh, erm, *cough* y-yeah I could see that…

grug hate two factor authentication. first grug have to remember password. then grug have to point out which cave painting has birds. now they want grug to hunt and gather new thing called numbers. grug won’t do it grug miss the bird paintings grug was getting pretty good at birds.