I Am In So Much PAIN Right Now, It's Not Even Funny.

Now presenting, my little sister:

"Are you done with life- Oh, a tomato!"

*Picks up tomato and sniffs once before biting into it like an apple*

"This needs to be washed."

When me and my siblings were little, we were told stories about these "Older Siblings" who all died in the most strangest ways. The most memorable one was about an "Older Brother" who died while running a marathon. He was running backwards while eating a bowl of cereal and ran off the track. He ended up running straight off a cliff. My older brother said the story always gave him nightmares, yet our parents claim they don't know where the stories came from. We still don't know the source, and the only other stories I can recall, though I don't remember the details, is one about an "Older Sister" who ate flowers and was poisoned, and an "Older Brother" who drowned under frozen ice due to some unusual circumstances.

Conversation I just overheard my siblings having in the living room:

Older sister: The police are after me!

Older brother: Are you a taxi driver?

Older sister: Yes!

Older brother: Why are they after you?

Older sister: I was speeding!

Older brother: Is there a child in your car!?

Older sister: Yes!

Older brother: Pull over!

Older sister: No way!

The kidneys connected to the egg bone.

The egg bones connected to the flip phone.

The flip phones connected to the trombone.

The trombones connected to the mouth stones.

The mouth stones connected to the red cloak.

The red cloaks connected to the leg room.

The leg rooms connected to the lawsuit.

The lawsuits connected to the bomb soot.

The bomb soots connected to the *shoots gun twice*

And these are the months of the year!

*claps hands twice like in if you're happy and you know it*

My beanbag was bleeding out all over, so now I'm just sitting here, on the floor, sewing up a beanbag, while reading.

"Please! Don't leave me again!"

"I died. Do you think I had a choice in the matter?!"

"I crave death and sleep, but mostly sleep."

AO3 Authers are a vibe.

I was just sitting in the living room, when out the back door I saw two eyes staring at me. When I got up to get a better look, I saw the outline of a cat on the fence. Unfortunately, the second I tried to open the door in jump off the fence and ran away.

Someone recently replied to a comment I made a while back, and I thought I'd put in here!

"This is why I want to be famous. So people have someone they can make sillie little videos about or draw pictures of. Someone they can write stories about and watch compilations of. I know some people would be uncomfortable if they found people making content about them, but I like the idea of people having someone that they talk about or that inspire them make things they're confidante enough to share it with others. Just existing could put a smile on at least one person's face, and that just seems worth it."

I've had more strawberry lemonade in the past few days than I've ever had in my entire life, and honestly, I think I have a new favorite drink.