I Have These Awful Thoughts About Eating. I'm Scared I'll Listen To Them And Eat And Then Feel Guilty

•★ First 24 hours. I'm going for more ★•

My sweet boy is $hing and I took his blades and told him to never do it and thought it's enough but he and his mom said I act like I don't care about him doing it at all when I actually do care. I care a lot. I just don't know what I should do. I should care more. I don't know why I can't show it... I feel like the worst girlfriend ever..

•★ I went shopping with my mom today and it was very stressful for me. She doesn't know about my $h scars and I was trying on short sleeves today. The scars on my arm were shown. I was praying for her not to notice and she fortunately didn't but I was extremely stressed. Thank god everything was fine ★•

•★ My mom gave me some of her old jelewery. It's silver, but I mostly wear gold. Do you think I should put it on tomorrow?? ★•

•★ B0dy check from today. I'm not really satisfied... ★•

•★ I did 25 hours fast because I was forced to eat something but I spat most and threw up the rest. I've never done it before so I'm kinda proud of myself. Definitely will use it once more ★•

•★ I feel like the worst girlfriend on earth. Why do I always have to do everything wrong? Can't I just be a good girlfriend? Also I feel very disgusting today. I hate myself for eating so much... I don't know what to do. Maybe another fast will make me feel better or sth ★•

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I live for this album

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That's so real, I always write all my thoughts but never share them

Dream.