I’m Watching Splash (1984) Which Is A Romcom About A Guy Who Falls In Love With A Mermaid, And When

Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day

A new study from Boston University’s School of Public Health has found that anyone, including you, could feasibly lose an arm at any moment due to a vast number of possible events outside your control.

THIS SONG IS FUCKING AWESOMEEEEE🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Saturday? No, you misheard me.

Satoadday.

so if "impotent" means you can't get hard, then what does "omnipotent" mean?

give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

The fact that before today I had no idea what the ides of march was and now I'm confidently explaining it to my entire friend group really sums up the fact that all tumblr users share a single braincell... and the braincell says STAB

executive dysfunction tips! It gets easier to do a task if you dress appropriately first!! It’s much easier to get started once you’re wearing the right clothes for the headspace. For example if you need to clean your room, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to make dinner, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to accept visitors, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to poison the tea that will be served to your mistress’ esteemed guests in an effort to ensure her suitors never take your mistress’ hand from you, try putting on a-

The hell is LGBT+? Y'all have gay premium?

They call me the girl kisser because of the way I uhm. Uh. Well.

googledocs you are getting awfully uppity for something that can’t differentiate between “its” and “it’s” correctly