You’re Funny

You’re funny

Thank you for the compliment. Humor gets me through my days...

More Posts from Ilostthekeytothevault and Others

3 years ago

Shared from Bing:

Scientists Have Observed Octopuses "Punching" Fish Silly
Mental Floss
Researchers at the University of Lisbon have confirmed that octopuses will not hesitate to check a fish by smacking it senseless.

Already knew that... I have witnessed it scuba diving off Panama City, FL. I would love to have the reckless abandon and impunity of these mollusks sometimes...

I do think, however, that there is a deep-seated reason for the aggression, and it stems from the very likelihood that it could wind up as calamari. Solution: Punch a fish in the face, knock its ass out and maybe offer it up as an alternative dinner choice to a seafood aficionado. (I don't think it will work, but I like the way they think...)

3 years ago

Shared from Bing: Shelter Dog Has The Best Reaction When He Sees The Family He Thought He'd Lost Forever

Shelter Dog Has The Best Reaction When He Sees The Family He Thought He'd Lost Forever
MSN
Shelter Dog Has The Best Reaction When He Sees The Family He Thought He'd Lost Forever

Cheers for Cow and his beloved family, indeed!

5 years ago

The letter 'S' is essential to life. Without it, you no longer EXIST; you've only found the EXIT...

5 years ago

As a culinarian, with over 20 years of experience and training, in a vast array of epicurean options, I have to say that one of my favorite descriptive terms these days is: slurpable.

Long live ramen!

(Or most any other noodle... except udon... fucking udon... big ass, sweaty-tasting, soppy-wet, edible shoelaces...)

Yeah, fuck udon... Hail ramen majesty!

3 months ago

Oh, this road leads well past Biden, with stops to round up Obama, Bill Clinton, George W Bush, Hillary Clinton, and dozens of corrupt senators and Congress men and women who used political office for personal gain and to sell out the United States and Americans.

The Swamp creatures are scared...

Biden Family Scandal About to Erupt?

With Trump back in the White House, its all about to come out. 💥

Newly discovered bank accounts tied to the Biden family reveal millions in laundered funds from China, Romania, and Russia, traced back to Joe Biden's time as VP. Among the findings: $240K in direct wire transfers to Biden himself—with no explanation.

This isn’t just a scandal; it’s a potential crime of historic proportions. The American people deserve answers: Who sent the money? Why? And what was promised in return?

With mounting evidence, is prison time looming for Biden? These revelations could trigger a political earthquake and shake the very foundations of the Biden family.

Accountability is overdue. Justice must prevail. Stay tuned—this could be the story that changes everything. 🤔

3 months ago

No shit...

Hey, Fauci, you snide little troll, they're coming for you and your eugenics program. Your days are numbered...

Finally we’re calling things by their name! 🤔

6 years ago

I heard/read it again: grunge...

I'm perplexed by that most meager of words that has been usurped by a crowd of folks that has little to no actual experience in getting grungy. Let's set the record straight: Grunge means you've been exposed to the dust of third world, real dirt. Not glitter, not metaphor, not a slight dusting of soil. Real dirt, real grungy shite, genuine grime. Grunge is the stuff of daily, ugly, exhausting toil and hardship. Life for the grungy is a battle, a war waged in solitude, against a world bent on breaking its targets. So if you don designer clothes; if you drop piles of money in a trendy coffee bauhaus; if you overuse the words 'literally' or 'legitimately' (let's just forget that you have no concept of usage and acceptable vernacular, if you do...); and if you've never gone to bed hungry, cold and dirty, and clinging to slim hope that tomorrow will be better than all your yesterdays, well then you have no idea what grunge is. True grunge, and the music and atmosphere it spawned, is a soulful thing, brought to life by people whose only refuge in the world was hard-bitten poetry transmuted into lyrical rollercoasters, grinding guitars and bone-jarring percussion. Kurt, Eddie, Chris... they were the Purveyors of Grunge. They bled and breathed against the grain, exhaling oxygen for the world to inhale, and in doing so, taught most of us to fucking care about those who usually went unnoticed, were spent up by an otherwise uncaring world. They were celestial in their grasp of God, humans, and struggle, and their starshine was earned and never contrived... unlike those who try to usurp the word 'grunge' to peddle their shite, their plastic baubles, their angled politics.

Note: if you managed to wade through this monologue but have not even an inkling of meaning in this prose, then I submit the notion that you need to step back and reassess just what the fuck you aim to achieve by casting about the term 'grunge'...

3 years ago

My question now is whether this man is now guilty of involuntary manslaughter...

There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a large, troublemaking biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig. “Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says menacingly.

I burst into tears. “This is the worst day of my life,” I say. “I’m a complete failure. I was late for a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found that my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took to get home. At home, I found my wife with another man. Then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all. I bought a drink and dropped a suicide capsule in it. Then, after all that, as I sat down here watching the poison dissolve, you come in here and drink the whole damn thing!

5 years ago

Love books. Love them with all of your heart. Love them especially if they have the thin, bruised skin of the elderly, the yellowed pages of time's stain, and the scent of adventure mingled with ink. Love books.

Giveaway Contest: To Celebrate 2020, We’re Giving Away Twenty paperback Classics Featuring Truman
Giveaway Contest: To Celebrate 2020, We’re Giving Away Twenty paperback Classics Featuring Truman

Giveaway Contest: To celebrate 2020, we’re giving away twenty paperback classics featuring Truman Capote, Virginia Woolf, T.S. Eliot, John Steinbeck, Agatha Christie, and others! Won’t this collection look lovely on your shelf? :D To win these classics, you must: 1) be following macrolit on Tumblr (yes, we will check. :P), and 2) reblog this post. We will choose a random winner on February 29, at which time we’ll start a new giveaway. And yes, we’ll ship to any country. Easy, right? Good luck!

4 years ago

Looks like the script is being closely followed these days...

  • stevetoppsculpture
    stevetoppsculpture liked this · 1 year ago
  • famousinuniverse
    famousinuniverse liked this · 1 year ago
  • x-heesy
    x-heesy liked this · 1 year ago
  • ilostthekeytothevault
    ilostthekeytothevault reblogged this · 1 year ago
ilostthekeytothevault - Rummaging through the dark recesses...
Rummaging through the dark recesses...

253 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags