Waaait. Wait, This Is Straight Fire?

from the comments

???: denji ...

Denji: WHA--WHO ARE YOU??

???: i'm the gayness devil, Denji

Denji: WHY ARE YOU SMALL

???: not enough people are homophobic anymore … i need you to spread homophobia, Denji. You need to spread homophobia

Denji: i… um… i don't think i can do that

???: i'll show you a boob

we beating the indie game boss fight with this one

I now know how fucked 7/8 time is ~_~

Is been a hot minute since I posted sum so here’s this :D

i accidently deleted my long ask... [dead.]

i'll try again. short version: does cross deal with gender-related dysphoria? considering he grew up being forced into a certain role, which is atypical for monsters, and the fact that it was once mentioned (as an offhand comment meant as an example) in a post about monster gender expression that cross may have to lean harder into masculine representation if he wants to be gendered correctly at first sight... well, i imagine it means a lot to him to have something that was denied to him for so long, and i figure those two are correlated.

i also get the feeling he's an overall rigid guy, reflected in the way his ocd manifests, so i imagine that might very well be part a of it, as well. does he not allow himself certain things out of fear he'll be misgendered? is he overall comfortable with himself? does he ever feel like he has to overcompensate?

i tip my hat. have a nice day!

short answer: YES, jesus christ, cross has a LOT of dysphoria xD

(unrelated but i am SO flattered that you remembered that detail!)

you're right on the money though, yeah. one of cross' biggest obsessions is his self-image, and a lot of that stems from dysphoria because his dad (the source of most of this) was very much the "woman belong in the kitchen supporting real men (me)" type. the funny thing is that cross' overcompensation might not always register to us because it's all based on his understandings of human culture, which in turn comes from his father's understandings of it — it's very much a game of chinese telephone, where things have been translated nearly into meaninglessness based only on second-hand observation. that is to say: most humans would only see a monster mimicking "human culture" with info clearly from movies and books, and since monsters are naturally extremely social, that isn't really seen as weird.

the most immediate (and comical) example that comes to mind: when it comes to alcohol, cross will ONLY drink beer.

does he LIKE beer? no; he thinks it tastes like rotten bread. he only drinks it because humans (specifically the kind of english-speaking cultures his father took inspiration from) say it's masculine, and he doesn't want cute guys and gals at the bar to see him drinking some fruity cocktail and come talking to him like he's a woman. he also doesn't tell anyone he bakes, to such an extent that it takes multiple years of knowing him (or a really, really bad sleep schedule) to finally catch him doing it. he used to wear a headscarf as a kid (because his dad insisted and he was too young to realize why), and he actually DID like how that looked on him, but the second he realized it made people see him Wrong he burned it and never touched another one.

(the second, admittedly sadder example: cross is bisexual, but he never dates anyone, and only ever flirts with women. he's heard and seen that humans see gay men as lesser feminine, and he's not secure enough in his own self image to risk it. god FUCKING forbid anyone finds out he wants to bottom; he would literally rather die.)

this is actually one of the many reasons that tension develops between him and abaddon; abaddon threatens everything he knows in (many) more ways than one, but the fact that they're an extremely secure trans guy on top of that is just spit on his fucking ice cream.

barely anyone uses his shapeshifting stuff to make him cute. the thought of every detail of his form being entirely nm’s choice and him choosing to look like a queen in a dress is my everything

here's a question i've had before: how does monster aging work in mtau?

for example, horror is 58 yrs old if i remember correctly, does that make him relatively old or is their lifespan usually longer than humans'? (i imagine average lifespans also differ between boss monsters and the rest)

TAU horror is 54, but close!

i'm pretty sure i've talked about monster aging before but i can't remember where the post is — TLDR; a monster's llfespan depends on how much mana it generates, which typically correlates (at least roughly) to its size. it also isn't a straight graph of "more magic = more life", because mana slowly wears down a monster's leylines similarly to how oxygen slowly "burns" our cells; there's a sweet spot in the middle where you can have enough mana to live a long time but not enough to burn your body and SOUL alive from the inside.

(and you're correct: most boss monsters normally sit somewhere around this sweet spot, hence their longevity irrespective of size. :>)

how quickly an overabundance of mana can kill you also depends on the type of body you have, which is why it's important to consider the "race" of monster. ghosts and skeletons, for example, don't have a lot of physical matter even by monster standards, which means that even though their leylines play a more important role in their bodies they're also more resistant to those leylines getting worn down. this corresponds to the idea of "undead" monsters living a very long time.

(...that said, the point where a monster reaches "maturity" also depends on the type of monster. generally speaking, more humanoid monsters will reach maturity rouuuughly the same time as a human — maybe a bit older or younger. this is, again, more to do with the size of the monster than the shape; if a monster was humanoid but also the size of a cup they'd probably reach maturity in just a few weeks. but most humanoid monsters in undertale are also humanoid in size, so... let's take that as a hesitant norm across most universes.)

anyway, with that out of the way, and given the context that all of the pantheon members (obviously save abaddon and nightmare) are boss monsters (lots of mana) AND skeletons (not a lot of physical matter to burn), this means that their lifespans are naturally going to be very, very long. like, at least a couple thousand years a piece. (which seems overbalanced until you remember that skeletons are typically pretty rare in their home universes; seeing more than 3-5 in one spot would normally be very strange, multiversal shenanigans aside.) HORROR, however, comes from an anomalous universe where monsters are made of flesh and blood instead of dust, which means that he does have a lot of matter — and that unfortunately means that he is going to have one of the shortest lifespans on the team besides dust himself, who already suffers heavy leyline damage from the condition he has that causes his body to overproduce mana.

all that to say: horror is still pretty young by skeleton standards, but he'll probably only live a couple hundred years (if he's lucky) as opposed to the more typical few thousand. that's not to say that he's a child, either, of course — all of the skeletons are well past the age of maturity, and in that way "their" 54 isn't really different from 54 in a human — but he's not quite on his deathbed yet, so no need to worry.

so i'd say horror (specifically) is like... late 20's, in human years?

okay cool. now draw them kissing

i hope i understood correctly who to draw kissing

one of my favorite imaginings for error, although i don't see it as canon or even as a headcanon, is that he is a butch transfem lesbian. so, here she is. happy pride!

more info in tags.

i just wanted to quickly say — things are still pretty tight right now with my bf's little brother staying with him, so while i wouldn't necessarily say i'm in an emergency, if you can afford to toss a couple of dollars my way for groceries/toiletries it would be a huge help qwq

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