No But Disturbing Realistic Superheroes

no but disturbing realistic superheroes

Vision has no hair anywhere on his body–no armpit hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes. No fingernails. His skin tastes like metal. Sometimes, he forgets to breathe for minutes or hours at a time.

Captain Marvel smells like burning. When you touch her, your hand comes away cold because she’s absorbed your body heat. If she gets cut, she bleeds light. She can tell you what the inside of an explosion feels like.

Bruce Banner vomits after de-hulking. His skin is always red and peeling. He looks sick, like he has a fever, and he ingests more medication than actual food. There are blisters on his lips.

Tony Stark has a huge, sunken scar on his sternum where the arc reactor was removed and his chest aches each time he takes a breath. He has callouses in odd places–so does the whole team, really–and there is a permanent bald spot on the back of his head where it has been cut open every time he gets thrown around in his suit.

Spider-Man sometimes forgets which way is up–if you put him in a room with identical walls, floor, and ceiling, he couldn’t tell you which is which. His hands and feet are prickly to the touch, even through his costume. He is very nearsighted.

The Scarlet Witch has no sense of boundaries; if you can’t tell she’s spying on your thoughts, why should she stop? She doesn’t do it out of any malicious intent, just out of curiosity and convenience. She never loses arguments.

Thor speaks about events that happened thousands of years ago as if they were last week. Cats arch their backs and stare at him. Something about him–his eyes, or his skin, or the way he moves–seems slightly off, like he doesn’t belong on Earth at all.

stuff like that.

Tedros (AWWP SPOILERS)

This blog is practically just becoming an sge blog so I might as well. I’m rereading the whole series and have gotten to AWWP right, and like. Tedros. My boy. He has gone through so so much (some of it was kinda his fault but I digress) and it just kinda feels like it was forgotten. I mean in the next book the only thing that is picked back up is his relationship with Sophie/Filip but like. My boy was tortured and starved for days before Sophie ever showed up. She literally had to physically stop Aric so that Tedros wouldn’t die. I just feel like his trauma from those days was completely erased and diminished to him and Sophie.

First fandom: The School for Good and Evil

(which if you've never read, has a phenomenal first book and an okay second and third. There is also a second and third trilogy I haven't even touched. + a Netflix movie, which admittedly isn't the best, but I love it anyway. Very much so a guilty pleasure for me. I would genuinely recommend watching the movie/reading the first book and then reading the following fics.)

Scott Street by astardanced (Agatha/Tedros):

Agatha and Sophie realise quickly that ‘going home’, and ‘living in Gavaldon for the rest of your miserable existence’, aren’t quite the same thing. With the barrier between Gavaldon and the Endless Woods permanently damaged, they’re offered a chance to return to the School, for what the Deans promise to be a ‘new and improved!’ and ‘much more serene!’ second year. Agatha doesn’t exactly believe them; but there are reasons why they might consider going back. A few… Well, anyway. Don’t be a stranger.

Remember how I said I didn't like the second book? This fic pretends the second book doesn't exist---it's a complete rewrite of it, and I love it a lot.

Simmer: Or, A True History of the Second Life of One Callis Wardwell, Witch, Who Cheated Death (And More Besides) by astardanced:

Making it out of two Gavaldon witch burnings alive takes a special kind of audacity. Thankfully, Callis has plenty of it. But chasing Agatha back into the Endless Woods, leads her directly into a web of lies, intrigue and backstabbing that points all the way back to Rafal, and her time at Evil. It’s lucky, then, that Callis’s infamous mother is so good at all of those things, because in order to survive this brutal extension of their tale, Agatha, Sophie and Tedros are going to need all the help they can get. But everyone knows parents are peripheral, in fairy tales. And being peripheral is much harder than it seems. They’ll do what they can. or, callis survives into the camelot years.

This follows the main character's (Agatha) mom, who is a single mother + a witch + has a cat companion who talks. I genuinely cannot think of a fic that was written more for my specific interests than this

Technically this is a sequel to another fic, but I didn't know that the first time I read it and I understood everything fine. I love this fic a lot.

Second fandom: Harry Potter

The Heir to the House of Prince by elph13 (need an ao3 account to read this) (Harry Potter/Theodore Nott):

"So you're adopted? "Supposedly." "So your Dad ... he's not ...?" "Seems like it." "Huh." Theo stares at Harry with those grey eyes that look silver in the cauldron smoke between them. "But you're the heir to this ... House of Prince, so he's probably -" "Yes. Probably." Harry looks at Theo sharply. "You don't know who he is, do you?" "No." Theo looks back just as sharply. "If I did, I would tell you. You know I would." "I do." Something loosens inside Harry's chest. Something that has been tightening ever since Cedric died. He may not have his friends, or Sirius, or even know who he fucking is anymore, but he has this. At least he has Theo. Summer of 4th year and Harry's all alone, dealing with his grief and the sudden revelation that James Potter is not his father. Support comes in a strange form. The form of Theo Nott, son of a death Eater. A strange friend who says he'll help him find his true father, whoever this Lord Prince might be.

This deviates drastically from canon, so if that's not your thing steer clear. With that being said, I remember this fic being very charming when I read it. Also major trigger warnings for suicide, torture, and child abuse (plus some other things I might be forgetting, it's been a hot minute since I last read this)

Too old to be this young by Nadia_Castillo (Harry Potter/Tom Riddle):

He was smiling. At Tom Riddle. He was going to get murdered before the year ends, he just knows. Alternate universe/Post-Hogwarts. warnings: mature themes, drinking, swearing. An adult Harry Potter with all his knowledge and experience is transported to his 23yo body in a universe with no war.

Crack, stupidly overpowered Harry, and simping Mister for Magic Tom Riddle. Still updating

Third fandom: DC (Batman/Superman specifically)

Batnesia by Qui (Superbat):

In which Bruce forgets a few key facts, and Clark has to go along with it. Or, the Bruce-Has-Amnesia Fic we've all been wishing for.

Every ship needs an amnesia trope fic

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat (Superbat)

"Clark. What the hell is this," Lois asks, staring at Clark's Bruceman WIP folder. Clark's first instinct is to fly away, but that would still leave his fic on display for her to see. His second instinct is to blast a hole straight through his laptop screen with his heat vision, which isn't much better. Clark, in an attempt to make some spare cash, unintentionally stumbles into the world of superhero fanfiction, becomes a prolific writer for Gotham's OTP, and tries his best to fend off rival fans who want him to convert to superbat instead.

Identity porn, crack, characters-are-involved-in-fandom trope

scramble by IHadHimOnTheRopes and rory_gone_mattie (Superbat):

The words on his skin were his everything. After everything he'd seen, done and been through, they were a reminder that Bruce Wayne still existed. That somewhere there was a person who would love him despite the coldness in his chest and the scars that roped their way across his skin. A reminder that he wasn't alone - that he wasn't destined to live forever in the shadows, silent and isolated. That somewhere out there was the other half of his soul. He just wasn't expecting the other half of his soul to be an alien.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? by poisonivory (Damian/Jon) (NSFW):

After years in the future with the Legion of Super-Heroes, Jon is finally back in Damian's life, and Damian's determined to keep him in this century. If that means a little fooling around between friends, so be it. It doesn't have to mean anything. (It just might mean everything.)

I love nineteen year olds being dumb

Forth fandom: Star Wars

The Emperor Skywalker Conspiracy by loosingletters:

The Emperor is dead and so is Darth Vader. So. Uh. Who exactly inherits the Galactic throne? Or, the Holonet discovers the existence of one Luke Skywalker and promptly makes it a meme. I present you the one long rant of a lone blogger trying to disentangle the mystery behind Luke Skywalker and his maybe inheritance of the Empire.

A blogger talks about the end of Return of the Jedi. Originally it had embedded memes, but they seem to be broken now, which is really sad. One-shot.

Fifth fandom: Danny Phantom

I Panicked, Okay? by newdog14:

“Danny, we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s going on,” his mother said, clearly picking up on his panic and gentling her tone, as if he were a skittish animal. “Whatever that ghost is doing to you, you can tell us. It’s not your fault, Sweetheart.” “No, Mom, he’s not…it’s not like that,” Danny said. Her reassurances were setting off all kinds of alarm bells, but they also gave him an idea. It wasn’t a good idea, not by any means, but he couldn’t think of anything better, and he needed to say something. “Then what is it like Danno?” his dad asked, giving Danny a worried look. He had the Fenton Xtractor in hand, and Danny spared it a wary glance before looking between his parents. Tucker was never going to let him live this down. “We’re dating!” "WHAT?!"

Don't you hate when you have to pretend to be dating your secret identity so you're parents don't accidentally destroy you with their ghost hunting weapons?

The Trouble with Ghosts by Lynse:

Lancer hadn’t realized how closely young Mr. Fenton’s school troubles-–and the secrets he surely wasn’t telling his parents–-were tied to ghosts until after that encounter with Phantom.

Okay, I last read this fic in 2020ish, so I don't remember it that well, but I really like outsider POVs and bookmarked this as one of my favorites, so!

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idiocy-for-idiots

4 months ago