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Fabian's getting a sibling. his friends are all excited for it. Hallariel and Gilear are over the moon. he burnt all his baby clothes and as a result, everyone has been shopping, been preparing for the new baby. Fabian hates it.

once it's born, everyone coos over it, adores it, makes it laugh and looks at it. there's pictures being taken left and right, handmade blankets and shirts with embroidered initials and the softest plushies imaginable gifted from everyone around.

Fabian doesn't want to look at it. he avoids going near its room in the house, starts training and dancing even more and avoids being home as much as he can, so that he doesn't have to watch his mother smile at the little creature, doesn't have to listen to her coo or sing to this child that she loves.

Riz remarks to him that his sibling is cute. Kristen keeps trying to get him to hold it, tells him how you're supposed to keep one arm under and one arm across to ensure it's steady. Fig tells him he must be so excited to be a big brother, and that even though they're step-siblings, it must be thrilling to finally have a biological sibling. Fabian doesn't respond.

he had siblings. numerous ones, all without names and faces, all dead. he never met them. they never got to live much of their lives, murdered by Whitclaw for his father's feuds. no one speaks of them. no one thinks to remember them.

this baby will be the first Lomenelda-Faeth baby, his first biological sibling that doesn't share his Seacaster name, and he feels it viciously. good. it doesn't deserve his name. his legacy.

his friends coo over this baby, this stupid little thing, and his mother has spoken more to this child than she has to him in the past 18 years combined, and it's not jealousy fueling him when he sees his own baby blanket in its clutches. it's grief.

this baby doesn't get to have his stuff. it was a gift from his father, his family, and it doesn't belong to this new creature. it's done nothing to deserve this affection, this adoration. love is earned. love is what happens when you make a mark on the world, when you write your name on every place you've been and are respected and admired.

love is what you get if you become Maximum Legend. it's what you get when you defeat your enemies, or defeat your mother in fencing, or come out in victory after a harsh battle. love isn't freely handed out just because you exist. it's hard earned once you're enough, and Fabian is so, so close to earning it. he's done it all. he's saved the world. he's worked so hard, and done his best, and gotten his mother to stop drinking and be ready to be a mother. so why is she devoting her time and affection to this stupid little thing that hasn't done anything yet?

it's not fair. and he thinks about it when he slams the door behind him in the morning, the unfamiliar lilting notes of his mother's lullaby burning in his ears, until the roar of the Hangman finally drowns it out.

it must be so exciting to have a sibling, Fabian! it echoes in his ears. he thinks of Captain James on Leviathan, his grotesque tentacles crawling over his head, his foul breath just inches from his face. "Oh, I have so many of your siblings’ brains in me stomach already." how many of his siblings met their ends like that? how many of his siblings died without ever getting to tell him their name, without making their own mark on the world or knowing that there were more of them?

the wind howls around him and the Hangman furiously blasts down the roads, Elmville rushing past. he has enough siblings. none of them survived long enough for him to ever learn their name. this child, this baby, this stupid little sibling has done nothing to earn all the affection it's been getting, this love that's now handed out freely where he's never ever received a scrap without fighting for it tooth and nail. it's got enough.

he takes his crystal out, debates for a moment, and deletes all new notifications. he puts it on Do Not Disturb. he owes this new child nothing. he never got to learn the names of any of his other siblings. this baby, he decides, has done nothing to earn that privilege. there's nothing special about it. he's had enough of siblings, and he doesn't need another. he's a Seacaster, the last of his name. this child is not. it's a Lomenelda-Faeth, two people whose name he does not share and two people who haven't looked at him in weeks. he doesn't need them. they don't get to need him.

the Hangman's engine roars, and he thinks about his mother's singing. how he hasn't heard her ever sing before. he tries to recall it, and the song slips into a Halfling accent before he can stop himself. the motor revs, and he drives on.

Selkie Fabian with selkie Hallariel au you see the vision

Bill accidentally stole Hallariels pelt while he was pillaging in Fallinel and Hallariel fucking hunted him down

Bill fell in love the second she took his eye out but Hallariel only married him because he promised her a life of freedom and adventure on the sea something she’d never had before and she fell in love with him along the way

Telemaine was extremely protective of his daughter because he knew that like a half elf half selkie wouldn’t be very well received in Fallinel so she always hid her selkie-ness up until she left and stopped giving a shit about what Kei Lumennura thought

Part of why she left was because Telemaine refused to let her near the sea (he insisted that her mother learned to live without the sea to keep herself safe so she could too) but he finally caved after Bill stole her pelt because “I’m in danger either way at least I’m not miserable at sea”

She planned on only marrying Bill for a few years before going back home until she actually fell in love and then got pregnant

Fabian was allowed a lot more freedom than Hallariel had growing up but he was still told a bunch of horror stories about selkies getting their pelts stolen so he is very protective of his pelt

Like so protective that the Bad Kids didn’t even find out until like halfway through sophomore year (he only told them because Riz jokingly tried it on when they were all hanging out and Fabian snatched it away in a panic)

The main reason they have as big of a pool as they do is because Hallariel insisted on having someplace her and Fabian could shift

Fabian still misses the ocean terribly and travels down there on weekends he can get away

When Kalvaxus set their houses on fire he had to stop himself from running to check his room and find his pelt because his parents were in danger

When he got home after prom Cathilda immediately handed his pelt to him because she knew he’d be panicking about it

Cathilda knows about Fabian being a selkie (of course she does she practically raised him) but he didn’t realize she knew until he was about 12 (he thought he was being sneaky) so it became sort of a game for her to see how much she could tease him about it before he realized she knew

She insists on washing his pelt because he insists on storing it with the rest of his clothes and she doesn’t want it to get dirty (she always framed it as something similar to giving his selkie form a shower) but she has a rigorous washing process that she insists on doing every time despite it taking like an hour each time

The first week after she gets sober Hallariel takes Fabian down to the beach and gets in the ocean for the first time since she had him

Before Fabian she always insisted she would not become some trophy piece lying around Bill Seacasters house like most of the selkies she’d heard about who married pirates (and the she had Fabian and then…yeah)

Fabian and Mazey have a tendency to borrow each others clothes and it’s all great fun until Mazey takes his pelt without realizing thinking it’s just a regular coat (he is scared to death of telling anyone he’s romantically involved with that he’s a selkie cause, y’know, horror stories) and he has a genuine panic attack when he can’t find it

About an hour after this happens Riz (who Fabian had asked to find the pelt) shows up at Mazey’s doorstep demanding the pelt back and Mazey is just so confused

Fabian finally tells her like a week later and she feels just so bad

Hallariel doesn’t fully trust the Bad Kids until she learns they know Fabian is a selkie

Gorgug starts joining Fabian on his late night oceanside trips after they all find out (he says it’s because it’s not safe for Fabian to be out there alone but it’s really because he just wants to hang out with his friend)

So so many beach trips with the party over summer after junior year (would’ve been sophomore but yknow night yor-*I am shot in the head by Riz Gukgak killing me instantly*)

Kristen challenges Fabian to an underwater breath holding contest and like just to freak them out he just kinda stays under for like 5 minutes

He can stay underwater for a while when he has his pelt but when he got possessed on Leviathan sophomore year he had to leave it behind and when he doesn’t have it he’s kinda shit at holding his breath naturally (he never trained it because he assumed he wouldn’t have to deal with being in the water without his pelt a lot but he started training it after that)

He has control over how much he shifts when he’s in the water with his pelt so unless it’s been like a while and he’s craving the ocean he’ll usually go for just like patches of seal fur along his body and occasionally he’ll let his feet turn partially tail-like if he feels like swimming a lot

The Bad Kids think his patchy form is just so adorable (he would be fully human around them since he’s still not fully comfortable with it but the halfway form is kind of the lowest he’s able to dial it when he has his pelt in the water)

Jawbone finds out partway through junior year (Adaine makes an off handed remark about Fabian’s pelt and he was just very confused) and once he finds out he immediately starts researching the shit out of selkies

He finds out that there’s a support group at Aguefort for selkie students and he gives Fabian the information

Fabian very reluctantly goes and actually enjoys it a lot (it’s less like a support group like it says and just kinda like a place for selkie students to hang out and bond with other selkies) so he keeps going weekly

They were all very skeptical of him when he first showed up (I mean the most popular kid in school who is also the son of a world renowned pirate showing up to a selkie hangout when nobody knows he’s a selkie feels like a red flag) but he brought his pelt with him just in case to make sure they knew he wasn’t an enemy

At first he has a bunch of people giving him pity because they assume Bill basically abducted his mom but he shuts that shit down quick (“if my papa tried to abduct my mama she would’ve taken out his other eye and slit his throat”)

They are all so jealous of the fact that he actually lived on the sea for most of his life (they have a monthly trip to the beach because most of them aren’t able to go out that much and a good majority of the people in Elmville have lived there all their lives or most of their lives)

Ok yeah that’s it for now I just got selkie Fabian in my head and couldn’t get it out

Holy shit.... Never Again Action (the group who started #JewsAgainstICE) had an ICE detention truck drive through them while they were shutting down Wayne Detention Center in Rhode Island this evening (August 14th).

tiktoks with vine energy

Franz Kafka, 1912

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

I was tagged by @sohotthateveryonedied, thanks for the tag!

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I’m not going in a particular order, except #1 is my #1 right now just because my head is so stuck in that story and I’m obsessed lol 

1. Reclaiming Innocence 

This idea came to me while I was writing Not All Kidnappings and pretty much the first chapter was jotted down in my notebook in early August and left there until I started flipping through it in like October or whenever I started posting and I got re-obsessed with the idea and wrote three chapters in about a day. I just love Jason-joins-the-family fics and recovery-from-abuse fics and so I guess it’s natural I love this story with my entire heart. 

2. Jason and the Three Terrors

I LOVE this AU. The basic premise was given to me in a prompt over 2 years ago at this point, and I wrote like the first 40k words in 2019, but I didn’t start posting until 2020 so I think it counts. I really want to get back to it and finish up part one so I can start drafting part two, but I’ve bitten off more than I can chew when it comes to writing so it’s sitting on hiatus at the moment. :( but i LOVE Mara with my entire heart and really look forward to the first time Jason tells her he loves her because both those children deserve family and love and happiness and 😭 (and same with damian and athanaisa as well. and I can’t wait for Bruce to meet them all. ahhhhhh I really want to write the (alternate scene) where jason takes them straight to bruce and bruce is like !!!!!!! jason??????? and jasons freaking out because he knows bruce hates him and he’s sorry he’s there but b you just have to take these kids okay? and bruce just wraps jason up in a hug completely ignoring the three kids for the moment because ‘omg jason how– how are you here? i miss you so much.’ and 🥺 but again that’s just an alternate scene because jason moves the kids to metropolis per the prompt first.) but anyway, I love this story, I daydream in it all the time, and I can’t wait to get back to writing it.

3. Not All Kidnappings Are Bad

This was really fun to write. I had no idea I could write an entire book so quickly, but I wrote this in about three weeks? It also is what spawned the Reclaiming Innocence idea, and I’ve had a lot of fun daydreaming in the AU. Like I imagine Jason became friends with Billy, and maybe Garfield later. Does he become Robin? Dunno, but he certainly hangs around the team a lot, and he’s everyone’s little brother, not just Dick’s. What a cutie pie. 

4. Second Chance

Honestly I think this is my best one shot. I just… i love it so much. It might be because I wrote it at like 2 am one day, and was extremely sleep deprived, but I just feel like it was so emotional and compelling and I love it so much. Talia being a good mom and Bruce getting to meet his baby son (and being so happy about it) and baby Jason getting a little brother is ❤️   I reread this one all the time.

5. To Cheat Death

Jason doesn’t die Au!!!!! I’m obsessed with this idea, too. I have so many plans for a second chapter, but no time to write it so I haven’t. I also screwed up by making Bruce sing and say he discovered Jason liked it on a road trip, but like Jason was supposed to be excited Bruce suggests they both take a break and go on a trip because he’s ‘never been on a road trip’ so that’s lame, but yeah. This was another emotional fic that made me tear up while writing it. Bruce’s absolute gut-wrenching fear when Jason was dead in his arms, to his overwhelming relief when he started crying again was just 🥺 I go back and reread this one a lot, too. 

I tried to tag people but I chickened out, so if ANYONE wants to do this, feel free! I tag you!!

"Cloudward, ho! Is a bad name" you hate whimsy + adventure + the ability to say Ho all the time

not my circus not my—

what? *unrolls paper* why are you giving me a deed to the.. oh, oh no.. fuck.

they're my monkeys now

assorted bad kids and co. hc’s:

kristen is supposed to wear a retainer (had braces for all of middle school) but is so bad about it so the gap in her front teeth has shifted back. when she does wear her retainer she has a pretty intense lisp

adaine likes to be carried (this is canon) but where riz prefers riding on shoulders, adaine is a piggyback lover. she gets scared she’s gonna fall on shoulders

fabian is really good at tying knots and is in charge of tying off the bracelets that kristen makes (he is also incredible at balloon animals but the bad kids will never know this if he can help it)

tracker hates thunder and loud noises (dog) and will wear a compression suit about it (gods longest compression socks + compression vest + weighted blanket)

gorgug is the god of “just smack it till you fix it” way of tinkering. the amount of times he has come ever the gukgaks to just give their shitty fridge a good knock to get it to turn back on… truly uncountable

besides riz, fig is the best climber of the group. she loves to climb shit she is not supposed to and constantly has scabby knees because of this (does not accept heals in the name of “kristen they look cool”)

figs climbing deeply stresses riz out the same way his friends handling guns stresses him out. that’s his highly dangerous thing to be good at, he’s half convinced if they do it their gonna die (he only expresses this is his little 😬 face)

when ragh moved to bastion city he very quickly became “that hot guy from the news” cuz he kept winding up as an eye witness and getting interviewed. he may or may not be a meme on fantasy twitter. this does get him on a parade float for bastion pride tho

i have more. these dudes just. live in my head always <3