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Listen All Systems Red is so so funny from Gurathins perspective imagine you grew up with Space Socialism and was hired to go help some pal with science but you weren't allowed to go unless you rented AmaTeslas Torment Nexus Alexa Dot and then when you get there you find out a whole continent of people got annihilated by their Tourment Nexus rentals so you take a moment to check yours quickly and find out it already had disengaged its Don't Kill People box, the only thing you've ever been told prevented them from mass homiciding their clients, something that LITERALLY just happened to people you knew a day ago, and when you say to your fellow socialist doctors HEY I think our Tourment Nexus is fucked up and it's files said it killed dozens of people barely a year ago and we should probably get the hell away from it the same doctors are like look at what you're saying. You're hurting the Tourment Nexus' feelings. The Tourment Nexus is just a little construct who likes Netflix Gurathin stop antagonizing it on the plane ride.

If your 13 or older and still sleep with a stuffed animal please rb this im tryna prove a point to my friend.

fabian deserves to kill his mom too. as a lil treat

a shout out to the small baby child today who was demanding liberation from her stroller but who, when asked if she would stay close to mama and not run around acting crazy, paused for a moment to contemplate the question and then answered "prob'ly no"

it cost you your freedom, small child, but i admire your integrity and honesty 😔

Friendly reminder for all y’all exclusionists in the replies that Straight Ace is an oxymoron!

@ all girls coming to terms w not being straight: i love u, i am proud of u, there is nothing gross or wrong about liking/loving other girls and u are brave and valid and good

When around other people Riz and his mom force themselves to walk fully upright with a more humanoid posture. In their own home though (or in Riz's office when he's alone) they tend to hunch and crouch slightly because it's just a more comfortable posture for goblins, even popping up onto the balls of their feet.

Riz freaked out his party at LEAST once on the Night Yorb quest when he got up in the middle of the night for some water and his siloette didnt match what he usually had in the dark.

not be like “ugh the Youths” but i think kids nowadays have gotten Too Comfortable on the internet.

like i see these tweets on twitter like “hey im 14 and i just got kicked out pls rt so i can find somewhere to stay im in x state/city” and like HOLY SHIT i cannot emphasize enough how incredibly dangerous this is. you’re broadcasting to EVERYONE that you are young, vulnerable, and desperate AND information on how to find you!!!! like i know you meant for that to be just for your friends on twitter but that’s a public tweet!!! ANYONE could see it!!! like I saw it and i have no idea who you are you are not in my circle and yet!!! so like WHO ELSE has seen it!!!

chess getting a huge update i see

The Bad Kids in a The Good Place AU would go crazy. I have no idea why all of them get sent to the bad place but it would be great

love reading about the Great Rapprochement. Arthur spends 1895 to 1915 metaphorically kneeling on the ground going pspspspsps in Alfred’s general direction mostly getting ignored but occasionally getting an increasingly half-hearted “go fuck yourself” in response. it’s fantastic. look at this.

German Ambassador Bernstoff, a shrewd observer, reported in 1911, “The British efforts [to cultivate America] are meeting with a certain return of platonic affection. The old rooted dislike to England is gradually vanishing… But it is not accompanied by any wish to offer anything in return.” In hard diplomatic coin, the Americans took but they did not give. British ministries from Salisbury to Asquith made important concessions of substance and form to the United States. These statesmen gained not alliance nor even true reciprocity, but the elimination of grounds of conflict, occasional and essentially “platonic” or negative support in world politics, and above all a transformation of American attitudes which would pay immense dividends after 1914. While other factors propelled America in the same direction, British policy from 1895 to 1914 was the indispensable element.

I love it. Arthur hasn’t been this nice to Alfred since 1754 and Alfred is completely weirded out and has absolutely no idea what to do with this. so he just keeps being belligerent and Arthur just keeps being nice until eventually Alfred is sitting at a table in Arthur’s garden wondering how the fuck he came to the point where he’s having literal tea parties with the old fucker. 

meanwhile Matthew, Jack, and Eliza are just as weirded out. maybe Matthew less so than Jack and Eliza but like. it’s still really fucking weird when Alfred says things that would get Jack sent to boot camp in the most remote part of the Canadian wilderness and Arthur just smiles. Duncan, Morgan, and Erin are much less surprised, since obviously they remember how much Arthur loved Alfred as a child. on the whole, Duncan thinks it’s funny, Morgan is relieved and pleased, and Erin is utterly disgusted lol. like c’mon, Al, don’t listen to him. he’s so full of shit you know he’s full of shit. 

alas, the end of WW1 proves Erin right and Alfred goes right back to belligerent and aloof (though perhaps not near as much as pre-1895).