Drew @xmaruu11 Steven Universe Beeduo Designs (and Michael!!!) Because Honestly I Love Them So Much

thoughts on different rbgtrio combination escape au's:

charlie + sneeg + ranboo: most stable probably. no surprise that when your support system is larger you do better. this does not mean they are normal they just are more balanced. ranboo's inclusion cuts somewhat through sneeg and charlie's relentless codependency and fucked up family dyamic. charlie + ranboo: most common escape au. probably the most possible (would require the least canon divergence to happen) but i need people to recognize the loss of sneeg in this one more. charlie's the older brother now and he doesn't know how to do it. charlie's the older brother and he has no idea how the outside world works. ranboo is fucked up but desperately emotionally clinging to the fact that they managed to get charlie out alive and trying not to think about everyone else the two of them left behind. charlie insists they have to go back and save them, but ranboo doesn't want to risk them being captured again and never making it out. charlie + sneeg: stable mostly by mutually assured destruction. i Know these two are both repressing their emotions but get soo upset when they realize the other is also doing that. both of them feel like they should have saved ranboo and failed- this + the fear of losing the other makes them spiteful over the other's attempt to save them (charlie calling sneeg selfish for trying to leave without going back for anyone, sneeg calling charlie stupid over not trying to save himself) sneeg + ranboo: don't think i've literally ever seen this one and it's a shame. even moreso than charlie+ranboo (since ranboo has less interaction with sneeg) this is an open wound of a duo. sneeg is repressing his emotions by being Useful and ranboo doesn't know how to recognize it and is too caught up in his own rock bottom mental state. ranboo wants to go back to showfall so bad but sneeg won't let them. sneeg keeps cooking ranboo's eggs how charlie liked them. ranboo solo: genuinely the most untenable. they harbor so much guilt over everyone's deaths i truly believe that the best outcome from a ranboo solo would be them returning to showfall. charlie solo: also would probably return to showfall i think. not as fast as ranboo because i think charlie feels less at fault for people's deaths, but he would realize at some point he had absolutely no idea how to interact with the outside world sneeg solo: this man is a hammerhead shark if he stops moving he will Die, and he would probably rather die than return to showfall, since he left everyone else behind and showfall was so so cruel to him personally. unsustainable but takes longer to fall apart than ranboo or charlie solo

we need to be talking about veins!! girl theres wires in us!!!

don't ask me what happened to the picture of gillion. compressed

Nonbinary tag checks out :D

Hey! Positive experience for once:

One time one of my dad's friends came over, and he bought on of his kids, a girl my age. We were kinda awkward at first, because we had to share my room for a night, but then we started talking, and me, freshly discovered lesbian at the time, asked her if she knows girl in red.

She said YES! And also that when she saw my guitar that i was clearly not using but still kept in my room she wanted to ask but she was afraid. So we spent the night, just two small gays, not yet out to anyone but each other :D

Haven't heard of her since, but that was one of my first real life positive queer experiences, and i can't forget it :)

this made my day, thank you so much! i had a kinda stressful start of my day but seeing so many asks like this just brightened it up.

king boober

TW religious stuff, atheism, unhinged thoughts

I am writing this at 3:30 am i have not slept

TL;DR: Aragorn is Jesus and i am religiously fucked (and also on the ace spectrum, so dont take it that way) (and this is also not about romantic feelings) 

Longer TL;DR: Aragorn fits the idea of Jesus and God that i was taught when i was a kid, and because i am losing my religion and belief he is very important to me. 

When you are a little kid in bible study, they tell you all about the Lord, and how merciful He is, and how grateful we should be for Him. They tell you about how He loves everyone, and how He forgives your sins. In your head, an image forms of a true Father, someone who is like a shield, someone who you can fall back on, your safety net. He doesn't show up. Of course he doesn't show up, it is supposed to be that way, he is not supposed to show up, not for you, but you will still sit in church and look up and in the back of your mind just hope for something, anything to happen to show you that the shield is really there. That the safety net is really there, because you are afraid of the fall but everybody says just don't look down, trust us that it is there, and everyone else is blindfolded but you are supposed to trust them. 

When you are a little kid in Gondor, the older men tell you about the King. How he is just, how he loves his people and how he will lead the race of men into glory. In your head, an image forms of a warrior, big and mighty, shining armour and white horse. Of a noble, head held high, who is far far away and unreachable, shining like a star to be admired. He doesn't show up either. For a long time he doesn't show up, and dozens of generations of kids grow with the image in their mind forming, then morphing into something bitter, like a broken promise. But then, then one day when everybody is ready to lose hope he shows up. He comes, riding in shining armour, head held high, like a distant star, leading legendary armies to battle and suddenly everyone understands because this is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, from the line of Isildur and you have the feeling to drop to your knees and pay your respects because this is not merely a diamond to be admired: this is a star shining so brightly like you have never seen before. This is your King. And he is out of your reach, because you are not even worthy of the touch of the light of this star but he looks you in the eyes and smiles, and suddenly the star is shining for you. 

It is hard enough to trust another person, so of course it is hard to trust someone who is above human by any means. To trust someone who might not even look at you, spare you a second of their time because you are a grain of sand and they are the wind, but sometimes, the wind is not fast and busy, sometimes the wind is slow and careful, and caring for all of the sand in the desert.

i just think it’s real interesting how during the code segment ranboo was adamant that we’d choose wrong on purpose because we wanted to kill him. of course we spammed into chat that we would never and we were here to help him, and we cared about him.

gl!ranboo only knew we voted red. for all he knew, the code could have been one of the others he didn’t try. he had no reason to trust us, he thought we’d want to kill him.

and after us screaming at him that we wanted him to live, that we loved him that we would never kill him, thirty minutes later we voted for him to die.

gl!ranboo died thinking we voted because we thought he deserved it. gl!ranboo thought we wanted to kill him. gl!ranboo thought we probably wanted to kill him the whole time because we hated him. gl!ranboo never knew we killed him because we loved him.

Yes.

Special Interest vs Hyperfixation

This post is about how I PERSONALLY have come to define these words. There is no clear consensus on the distinction, so I have made my own. I am not trying to control how other people use these terms or who uses them, so do not argue with me about that. You’ve been warned.

How are special interests and hyperfixations commonly distinguished?

Many people say that special interest = autism and hyperfixation = ADHD. I’m not a fan of saying, “This thing is basically the same in each, but we’re using different words based on which box you’ve been sorted into.”

Another way people distinguish is by saying special interests are long term/permanent and hyperfixations are short term. That’s a start, but it doesn’t really explain why one would be long and one short—unless they serve different functions.

My definitions are about the functions of these kinds of interests.

Special interests

I define special interest as a topic of intense interest to someone, usually an autistic person, that serves an important function: they are a way to organize/understand the world, one’s emotions, relationships, etc, and also a safe, structured way of interacting with other people/the world. Because they become integral to how one sees/interprets the world, people often describe special interests as part of their identity.

For autistic people who are not great at masking, their special interest might be the only thing they want to talk about. Sharing information about one’s special interest can be how people express affection (“I am trusting you with this important part of me!”) and could be considered a neurodivergent “love language.”

Think of Aaron in The Mitchells vs the Machines. He goes through the phone book calling people to ask if they’d like to talk about dinosaurs with him, and when his sister Katie is leaving for college, he expresses his anxiety and tries to make sense of what is happening by asking what happens to velociraptors when one leaves the pack.

Hyperfixations

Saying hyperfixations are just short-term special interests does not do them justice, and it doesn’t make sense! Special interests are about becoming an expert in a topic so it can serve as a secure base from which to approach trickier aspects of life. But hyperfixations often fizzle out after reaching the “expert” stage. Why is that?

Hyperfixations serve a different (also important) purpose: dopamine! It’s all about the thrill of the chase. The consumption of information at light speed. Chronically understimulated brains use hyperfixations as a way to produce more of the neurotransmitters they need so badly. This is why they often fizzle out once the game is complete, the show has been binged, or you’ve learned all there is to know on a subject: the novelty is what creates that first flash flood of dopamine that our brains find so delicious. I had more hyperfixations back when I was stuck in boring classes all day. My brain was desperate for stimulation.

Similarities

Both special interests and hyperfixations are unusually intense interests. Both of them can feel necessary for survival—because they are survival strategies developed by neurodivergent brains for surviving in a neurotypical-designed world! They both serve important functions that go beyond simple enjoyment or relaxation. And while special interests in autism have been pathologized the most, both hyperfixations and special interests—in whomever they occur—are often dismissed, bullied, or discouraged by people who do not see their importance and utility.

I’ve made it sound black and white here, but it’s not. These two can overlap. Hyperfixations often “mellow out” into special interests, special interests can produce happy brain chemicals. Also, in my experience, I’ve known more autistic people with special interests and more ADHD people with hyperfixations, and I will continue to talk about them largely in those contexts… but I am an expert on no one’s mind but my own. I don’t police who uses these words.

So, to sum up.

Special interest: an organizational framework for understanding the world and for understanding and navigating emotions and social relationships.

Hyperfixation: an adaptive response to chronic understimulation by “mining” a subject for neurotransmitters.

I get lost in my hyperfixations. I would get lost without my special interests. Both are important functions!

new chronicle 0 tweet:

[“Choose

Stop

Don’t”]

i have officially given up on being tidy in my reblogs. even I don't know what the next fandom is gonna be.