You deserve someone who wants to give you a fucking text back, y’know? Someone who wants you, only you, and makes you feel wanted. Someone who can’t help but message you first thing in the morning when the sun light is slow-dancing through the curtain, and they’re barely waking. Someone who wants to spend their drunken Friday nights with you, but also their lazy lemonade Sundays. Someone who holds their one-person umbrella right above you when it’s bucketing down, so that you’re sheltered, even if it means they get soaked through. You deserve someone who thinks of you, often. Someone who calls you on the phone at the end of a long day, because they want to hear the sound of your voice before they drift off into slumber. Someone who makes plans with you on a Tuesday evening, because the weekend is just too far away, and who cares if we have to go to work the next day. Someone who says definitely, not maybe, and follows through. You deserve to hear a song on the radio that makes you melt on the inside at the mere thought of this someone. Someone who could watch you sleeping for hours at a time, and be perfectly content in the grace and stillness of that moment. Someone who steals a cheeky kiss when you’re mid-sentence and least expecting to find their lips. Someone who will happily pig out on pizza with you in bed, and not judge the sweatpants & top knot look you’re sporting. Someone who is just that into you. You deserve someone who challenges the both of you constantly; someone who makes you strive to be better each day, because they’re trying to be better too. Someone you can count on to stick around when the shit hits the fan, which it will. Someone who chooses to lift you up, always. You deserve magic, and fireworks, and confetti canons exploding in your clear blue skies. You deserve someone who will always be careful with your heart, because they know just how fragile it already was before they held it. Someone who’s heart aches whenever yours does. Someone who wakes up next to you each day feeling like they’ve hit the jackpot, over and over again, and thinking what on earth did they do in their past life to be so damn lucky. You deserve someone’s complete attention. Someone who looks at you, and I mean really sees you, and all of the beauty you hold. You deserve to be someone’s first choice. Someone’s best friend. Someone’s partner in crime. Someone’s everything. You deserve to be loved; and loved extraordinarily well. And to be told that you are loved, every single day
– Thought Catalog
“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?”
— Charles Bukowski
“Colorism isn’t real.”
October is gray skies and early afternoons. Walls of fog that roll past my window early in the morning. Walking outside in the early evening and looking at the different colors of leaves on the trees, the scattered red and orange leaves that mark driveways and sidewalks. Seeing scarecrows and pumpkins out on porches that grin at me when I pass them by. Driving out to the pumpkin patch for apple cider donuts and a hayride that leads to golden apples that grow on trees and pumpkins looking for a new home. It means coming home after school to a Halloween movie marathon when the house smells like pumpkin bread and cinnamon and all things safe. Lighting an orange candle that smells like apple pie and drinking hot cbocolate as I sit on the couch wearing my favorite sweater. It means that smell in the air that drifts through my open windows that smells crisp and how autumn should smell. Listening to Bon Iver on my record player as the rain falls softly outside and journaling and making collages. Drinking endless cups of tea and watching Hocus Pocus nearly every night. Rereading my favorite books about vampires and werewolves and witches. It means feeling contented and happy and hopeful that my favorite month and my favorite season have officially arrived.