“The Stone Corrupts All Those Who Wield It, It Is Fueled By Their Ambitions And Dreams. So We Need

Wiley coyote is such a blorbo tho

Like this lady gets it

my grandma just tried to pronounce blorbo to ask me what it means.

Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me

No it’s not- you just have to get creative

Nor did I!

I didn't get to vote in the bug race and I am so fucking bitter about it.

question, does meeting someone who just escaped from hell while you're freezing to death in an attic count as a meet-cute?

I love this, but who is “the guy”????

Sorry for the poor quality

Operation Jet Set, the explosive cigar (twice)

I thought it would be badass to light my cigar off one of the lasers, died, and somehow thought it was the lasers, despite the autopsy saying “BOOBY TRAPPED CIGAR”. It took blowing up again to realize it was the cigar, and even then I thought “oh no someone’s trying to kill John Juniper”

what was your most embarrassing death in I Expect You To Die (any of the games) GO

Dracula: sleeping peacefully, knowing he can set his roommates on that hollow husk of a Johnathan soon

Johnathan, surviving on nothing but adrenaline and sheer desperation:

More of a tears gall on myself

blood is so cool

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time