Dracula: Sleeping Peacefully, Knowing He Can Set His Roommates On That Hollow Husk Of A Johnathan Soon

why the fuck does english have a word for

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

???

And then, after seeing all that, he thought “I want to go on a road trip with her. She seems stable😀” like Sir you’re just as insane as she is

Agatha just look fucking insane to Billy when she's still trapped in the spell will never not be funny to me.

The toy gun, and daisy pictures, THE SHIRT

Thank you for this, the typos really establish the tone well. Like no don’t fix those they’re part of the art

bravely fighting off the irge to post whicle sick with the flu cause I KNOWWWW Im just gonna say stupid shit BUT ☝️what if Suck lolll I mean what if sick-me says it better. What then

Actually life is beautiful because the sound I make while trying to breathe around hot food sounds like my dog trying to eat an apple. When I yawn my cat tries to put his face in my mouth like a little dentist man and when he yawns I put my finger in his obligate-carnivore trapzone and we both know he will not hurt me. When I do not fold my clothes, they do not hold it against me.

I am demonstrably sad, and lonely, and full of fear. But there are other people who will hold my hand, who will point out the hawk overhead, who will give you That Look in a public place. The other day at a coffee shop a child said “look! It’s snowing!” so all of us strangers went to go look out the windows. It wasn’t the first snow and it won’t be the last but wasn’t it lovely, like that?

How wonderful to live in a world where birds and frogs both say beep! How wonderful to have an ocean of beautiful sharks with their dinosaur teeth! How wonderful the moon and her changing face, how wonderful the bees and their dancing to communicate, how wonderful shrimp and their forbidden layers of vision! How wonderful, you, and what you will give the world! The way we love things enough to spend entire blogs devoted to them? How people will let me explain my Pokemon team to them? How we will both jump at the scare in the movie, how we laugh so loudly, how it feels to give someone your baking? How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting.

This is the process of getting better. With wonderful people and wonderful strangers and wonderful friends: I am getting better, slowly. Thank you, whoever you are. In some way, you’ve been wonderful, and left a wonderful place in the world to ripple out to me. In some small way - isn’t it beautiful - I promise, you’ve been helping.

I don’t know what your talking about. Chain mail dance is very sexy

The armor stays on during sex because it takes like five people to help me take it off and put it back on again and I’d rather not call them at this hour

Happy Caturdy Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday y’all

Caturday Monday?

Instructions unclear, I am now drowning

any deep breathers online? any fans of a really good deep breath? how about a nice hearty yawn? breathing in a bunch of air feels so good

I hope it’s a trend, I love this

Is this a trend now? We got two bitchy middle-aged witches going around with their pet gay teenagers.