This Is Incredible!

a lot of advice i see about being a good ally is to ask questions and learn from the lived experiences of the people you want to support. and of course i agree. but unfortunately people often interpret that as "any member of this community that i encounter is a ready, willing, enthusiastic educator on the diverse experiences of their community. i can ask them anything."

incorrect. not every marginalized person you meet wants to write you their memoir. no marginalized person you meet is obligated to be invested in your personal growth. it's no one's duty to have an elevator-pitch ready to win your support of their existence.

for just about every identity and experience you want to understand, there are known educators making content and even accepting and answering questions. difficult questions that are probably far harder for them to answer again and again than they are for you to ask. it's your responsibility to seek these willing educators out. it's your responsibility to be kind even when you're learning. so many of them become extremely burned out. and if they accept tips or any form of payment for their work, it's also your responsibility to support them in any way you can.

The peel perhaps could protect the wizard from any other pineapples. It might be defensive and territorial.

I'm a she/her dad and proud of it. I was proud to be dad before I realised I was trans. I love my kids and I'll always be dad to them. However, I'm a woman (I consider myself a binary trans woman even though it's not a binary but a bimodal distribution). It does confuse people, but that is their problem.

On occasions my kids call me by my name instead if we don't feel like it's a good situation to be outed in. People get to choose the words that they are comfortable with.

At the store I was covering today a dad walked in with his kid. They were on the teen side of childhood but age was indeterminate to me. He said, “So they need a new bed.” Later he added, “Their current bed is pretty squishy.”

I glanced at the child and said, “Would I be correct in intuiting your pronouns are they/them?”

Both dad and child lit up and he thanked me for noticing.

“It’s no big deal. My wife uses they/them. It confuses people because they hear wife and assume she/her but they’re a they/them. It just sounds so much better than spouse or partner to say my wife.”

The kid was ecstatic and exclaimed, “Yeah cause that’s your wife!”

It was fully heart meltingly adorable.

dreams

Yep, same. Also worth asking if bears are Catholic.

me: hey do you want some grapefruit?

wife: does the pope shit in the woods?

me:

wife:

me: …no?

wife: *does not break eye contact but very pointedly slurps the chunk of grapefruit off the spoon while nodding as if to say, uh, yeah. dummy.*

you know what perhaps strange women lying in ponds distributing swords IS a pretty solid basis of government actually

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you're welcome

No Wrong Answer

I saw this writing prompt a while back and it was stuck in my head until I finally cranked out a short story about it.

I would like to know who the original artist is. Because I would love to borrow some elements for a tattoo.

I've heard the full quote as "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning that chosen and forged ties are stronger than just happening to be family by birth.