A Lot Of Advice I See About Being A Good Ally Is To Ask Questions And Learn From The Lived Experiences

a lot of advice i see about being a good ally is to ask questions and learn from the lived experiences of the people you want to support. and of course i agree. but unfortunately people often interpret that as "any member of this community that i encounter is a ready, willing, enthusiastic educator on the diverse experiences of their community. i can ask them anything."

incorrect. not every marginalized person you meet wants to write you their memoir. no marginalized person you meet is obligated to be invested in your personal growth. it's no one's duty to have an elevator-pitch ready to win your support of their existence.

for just about every identity and experience you want to understand, there are known educators making content and even accepting and answering questions. difficult questions that are probably far harder for them to answer again and again than they are for you to ask. it's your responsibility to seek these willing educators out. it's your responsibility to be kind even when you're learning. so many of them become extremely burned out. and if they accept tips or any form of payment for their work, it's also your responsibility to support them in any way you can.

More Posts from Heavilyglacialvalhalla and Others

2 months ago

you know what perhaps strange women lying in ponds distributing swords IS a pretty solid basis of government actually


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2 months ago

suggestions for gender neutral version of mom/dad? something less formal than just ‘parent’

Guidance that Schools do not have a general duty to allow a child to socially transition

We all agree that schools have a general duty of care, to provide a safe environment for children to learn. This includes taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks, including physical and emotional harm. Safeguarding policy states that there is a legal duty to promote the welfare of children and young people under the age of 18 who are in schools and colleges. However, this guidance is telling schools they do not have to “allow” a child to socially transition. This goes directly against the principle of promoting the welfare of these children.

Respecting pronouns (in a home environment), if a young person’s pronouns are respected by all people they live with, they attempt suicide at half the rate of comparable young people who do not have their pronouns respected. (ref https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/suicide/documents/pronounssuicideprev.pdf)

Suicide risks are reduced 73% for transgender and nonbinary young people when they receive gender affirming care (ref: https://www.hcplive.com/view/suicide-risk-reduces-73-transgender-nonbinary-youths-gender-affirming-care, this study looked at medical transition, not social).

Even just one significant adult in a transgender young person’s life reduces the risks of suicide by 39% compared with transgender peers who were not accepted. If this significant adult is specifically a school professional, they have slightly less effect than a parent at 33% reduction in suicide risk. (ref: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/acceptance-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-from-adults-and-peers-associated-with-significantly-lower-rates-of-attempting-suicide/)

All of this evidence clearly shows that if a school refuses to “allow” a child to socially transition, they are putting that child at a much greater risk of suicide. This directly contradicts their safeguarding duty to “promote the welfare of children and young people.” as the school would not be “taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks”.

To solve this, the guidance must be changed to include that the school has a duty of care to support and affirm the child’s social transition. This change is important given the fact that affirming someone’s gender is suicide prevention as well as the other significant benefits to the child or young person’s mental health that this would bring.

Parent first approach

The guidance states “Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to ‘socially transition’.”

Given the increased rates of domestic abuse suffered by transgender people, this guidance is simply unsafe. Forced outing of children to potentially transphobic parents is very dangerous, and will prevent these children from being supported anywhere, because school will out them to their parents.

In a study, 43% of transgender and non-binary people have suffered abuse from family members (ref: https://galop.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Galop-LGBT-Experiences-of-Abuse-from-Family-Members.pdf). Often the only way to keep safe is for the transgender or non-binary young person to remain closeted and keep their identity a secret from the rest of their family.

Transgender adolescents reported abuse rates of nearly double that of their cisgender heterosexual peers. These rate multipliers are (1.84 for psychological abuse, 1.61 for physical abuse and 2.04 for sexual abuse, ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8344346/). This is for the general population, the abuse will be very skewed towards parents who are transphobic abusing their transgender adolescents. Therefore, if a child or young person does not feel safe coming out to their parents, they likely have good reason and the school would be going against their safeguarding principles to forcibly out them to these parents.

To correct the guidance:

To correct the guidance it must be changed to a “child first approach” where the child is believed, and the child themselves must explicitly give permission to the school for the school to discuss any aspect with their parents, if they wish to have their parents involved. The default must be to maintain the child’s privacy so as not to inadvertently subject them to abuse. The child first approach would be more in line with the guidance that teenage pregnancy does not need to be reported to the parents, but the child is encouraged to inform their parents themselves (https://www.pathwayslearningcentre.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Teenage-Pregnancy-Guidance-for-Schools.pdf).

General Transphobia in the report

Even the title is transphobic, it’s “Guidance for Schools and Colleges: Gender Questioning Children”. Which portrays all transgender and non-binary children as questioning rather than certain. It allows people to subconsciously write them off as “not sure” or “still questioning”, when in reality many transgender and non-binary people know from a very young age who they are.

Most transgender people, approximately 75% of those studied, reported experiencing gender dysphoria for the first time between the ages of 3 and 7 years old (ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8766261/). This is roughly when the concept of gender, and the differences between children are developing.

Some children and young people at all schools and colleges may well still be questioning their gender identity. However, helping them find themselves by using the pronouns asked for and affirming their gender will enable them to discover who they are much more quickly than just suppressing any exploration. This will also help those that are certain who they are, as it just increases the respect and acceptance of all people in the education system.

The idea that gender is a contested belief is reiterated throughout the report. The report also tries to negate any support for transgender people by stating that it must be done while respecting other people’s gender critical beliefs. This is just plain transphobia and should be eradicated at every turn. 

Hi Everyone,

Hi Everyone,

I wish I didn’t feel that I needed to write this post, and it contains discussion of: transphobia, including from the state; suicide; and domestic abuse. 

However, it is necessary to fight back against the Conservative government’s latest attack on trans people, this time coming after trans kids. They recently released “Gender Questioning Children Non-statutory guidance for schools and colleges in England”. It is full of transphobia in the form of Gender Critical ideas and, if schools follow this ‘guidance’, it will cost many lives of trans kids. Gender Critical beliefs include the belief that sex is biological and immutable, people cannot change their sex and sex is distinct from gender-identity. This is fundamentally transphobic by denying the very existence of transgender people at all. Before diving into details, I ask that you read at least the summary and then use talking points from my template response at the end to write to your MP, school, and also contact the government's consultation on this guidance. The official consultation finishes near the start of March 2024 so please submit a response soon.

TL;DR: The main problems with this guidance are:

That schools do not have a “general duty to allow a child to socially transition”, by for example changing a child’s name and/or pronouns used.

“Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to socially transition”.

Throughout the guidance, there are a lot of Gender Critical opinions being stated,using language such as “ has been linked to gender identity ideology, the belief that a person can have a ‘gender’, , that is different to their biological sex. This is a contested belief.” This language is trying to suggest that the basic existence of transgender people is a contested belief.

The Truth.

Social transition, where adults close to the child/youth affirm their gender is known to be hugely beneficial, even acceptance & use of correct pronouns from one significant adult resulted in 39% lower odds of attempting suicide.

Across the population, transgender adolescents reported abuse rates nearly double that of their comparable cisgender heterosexual peers. Forcing the school to ‘out’ transgender adolescents to their parents drastically increases that child’s chances of being subjected to abuse.

It is well understood by most leading scientists in relevant fields that gender exists, and is separate to biological sex. Plus, biological sex is not a binary, and is not immutable, many aspects of it can be changed with medical intervention. This intervention has also proven to be very effective in helping people with gender dysphoria.

Letter Template

The following template letter is intended for parents to send to the head teachers of their children’s schools. Of course, you are free to modify it however you would like and it is only provided as a suggestion. Please remove or change parts in angle brackets <> as these are intended for things specific to you.

Dear <head teacher's name>,

I am writing to express my concern about the recent government guidance for schools on “gender questioning” children. The guidance is transphobic all the way through and will cost lives. Transgender children deserve to be affirmed and treated with respect, enabling them to learn and grow just like any other child.

Specifically, there are two particularly dangerous parts to the guidance. The forced outing of transgender children to their parents, and the declaration that schools do not have a general duty to “allow” a child to socially transition.

Firstly, affirming a child during their social transition by using their pronouns is suicide prevention. Studies have shown reduced rates of suicide attempts in transgender young people when they are affirmed in their gender. If a young person has their pronouns respected by even one significant adult in their life attempted suicide rates are reduced by 39%. (ref: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/acceptance-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-from-adults-and-peers-associated-with-significantly-lower-rates-of-attempting-suicide/). For many transgender children with unsupportive or transphobic families, school is often the only place that can provide this affirmation of their identity.

The school’s duty of care to children and young people includes taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks, including physical and emotional harm. Clearly these suicide statistics constitute foreseeable risks of actual harm to children if their gender identity is not respected and correct pronouns are not used. People at the school using the correct pronouns would be considered “reasonable steps” to prevent this harm. Please ensure your school never contributes to these preventable deaths of young people. You must reject this government guidance.

Secondly, the guidance takes a “parent first” approach. It should be obvious that the main person needing protection is the child themselves. Forcibly outing anyone to anyone else is never ok. Especially when that person is a child and you're outing them to those who have the most power to hurt the child. 

In a study, 43% of transgender and non-binary people have suffered abuse from family members (ref: https://galop.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Galop-LGBT-Experiences-of-Abuse-from-Family-Members.pdf ). Often the only way to keep safe is for the transgender or non-binary young person to remain closeted and keep their identity a secret from the rest of their family.

Transgender adolescents reported abuse rates of nearly double that of their cisgender heterosexual peers. (ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8344346/ ). These rates are for the general transgender population, the abuse itself will be very skewed towards parents who are transphobic abusing their transgender adolescents.

The decision of when and how the young person wants to inform their parents, must stay with the child, for their safety. Please ensure your school remains a safe place for all our children and doesn't subject them to the cruel and dangerous practice of forcibly outing them. Taking child-first approach would be more in line with the guidance regarding teenage pregnancy: schools are not obliged to report a pregnancy to the young person’s parents but rather the young person is encouraged to inform their parents themselves (https://www.pathwayslearningcentre.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Teenage-Pregnancy-Guidance-for-Schools.pdf)

The government has an open consultation on this guidance that ends soon, at the beginning of March. Please add your response in the consultation as to why your school will not be following the guidance, specifically that it will cost lives and subject children to abuse that could have been prevented.

<optional extra paragraph, only include if you are willing to discuss further with the head teacher>

If you would like to discuss this matter further, or look at the other problematic areas of the guidance, please let me know and I will be happy to provide further information and evidence, either in person or in writing.

<end extra paragraph>

I hope for a future where all children are provided equal opportunities to learn and grow no matter their gender identity.

Respectfully,

<Sign your name here>

Links

Guidance document itself: Gender Questioning Children - non-statutory guidance

Gov consultation: https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/

Gov press release: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/parent-first-approach-at-the-core-of-new-guidance-on-gender-questioning-children

Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!

I'm pretty upset, angry and scared at the moment. The government has gone out of its way to harm trans rights in the UK. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-64288757

Petition: Reverse the decision to block the Gender Recognition Reform (Scotland) Bill
Petitions - UK Government and Parliament
I want the Government to reverse their decision to block the Gender Recognition Reform (Scotland) Bill, as this legislation contains importa

hey if you're a UK resident can you sign this petition and if not please rb to spread the word

this is an official UK government petition that they have to respond to if it reaches 10,000 signatures

I'M DOING AN EXPERIMENT

To prove something to a friend, please

REBLOG IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

LIKE IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS DON’T BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES


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2 months ago

From what I understand, they didn't "bring back" the dire wolf, which went extinct 10,000 years ago. What they did was mutated a grey wolf and grew pups who have exactly the same genome as the long extinct dire wolf.

This does beg the question how much does it matter if they are actually linearly related, if they have the same genetics?

Of course as Jurassic park pointed out, this is not exactly a great idea. We don't have the ecosystems that support a creature with those genetics any more.

Lol. Lmao Even

Lol. Lmao even

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

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