Heavilyglacialvalhalla - Valhalla

Of course, multiple years is a long and normal amount of time to remember someone's brain fart.

DMing is hard. I acknowledge this. Weaving a story with words for long periods of time means you’re gonna say something silly sometimes when your brain blips. And it’s not your fault that it’s so silly that your players share it around turning it into an inside joke, immortalizing your brain fart moment forever.

My DM was narrating a scene between our tiefling rogue and the NPC she was romancing. He was trying to set the mood for their first kiss, up on a tower overlooking the city, looking into each others eyes. They’d just been on a romantic date, there was a bottle of wine between them. And this was their moment.

The NPC leaned in to kiss the rogue and the kiss was, according to our DM, “long and normal.”

The entire session went off the rails. We became ungovernable creatures of hilarity. How long is normal?

We are informed normal is six seconds and we devolve even further into chaotic paroxysm of laughter. The DM desperately tried to rein us in but for the rest of the session everything took a long and normal amount of time.

My betrothed and I would kiss each other while counting to six in our heads then declare afterward, “Ah yes! Long and normal!”

I accidentally told my school team about it, reasoning that they’d at least never meet the DM who lives out of state. They’d say we needed the scene to be the long and normal length, or hold a pose for a long and normal time.

At the end of the year I invited them to my house for a celebratory meal and was surprised when my DM joined the DnD video call early. My teammates looked at him, expressions slowly spreading into evil grins. “Long and normal!” They greeted him.

He turned a look upon me of utter betrayal while I hustled them out of my house.

“It’s been a year!” He cried at the unfairness.

“Maybe it’ll phase out by next year,” I told him.

I play what we've named "cinematic D&D" which is basically collaborative story telling. There's one person assigned "storyteller" and each of the others are characters. The storyteller sets the scene, builds the world (or easier, borrows an existing world, eg. LOTR, Witcher, Blade, etc.). You then play in the same way: 1. storyteller describes the situation. 2. players describe what their character does. 3. storyteller describes what happens.

After you play a bit the story will flow. It's a really great, creative way to pass some time. It also helps if you treat it as cooperation rather than adversaries, even if the storyteller is "being" the adversaries. What I mean by this is not to block the other person's ideas, to accept & include them and ultimately make a good story. This applies to everyone, not just storytellers.

What's the longest/your favourite fanfic you've written?

I've never posted any fics anywhere, actually. I generally just get on discord and type out extremely long-winded character & dialogue scenarios for my friends to live-react to, hahaha. I guess I love the "audience." It's especially fun because they get to provide input along the way, like "okay wait but what if [x charcter] responded like this..." It's like I'm the narrator giving them occasional dialogue options, ha. I had a lot of fun doing a pretty self indulgent tenth doctor au the other month, and right now I'm enjoying "writing" about the BG3 cast along with my friends' player characters. I do have a Geralt x Reader fic sitting in a Google doc right now that I may one day post, god willing and the creek don't rise. We'll see.

suggestions for gender neutral version of mom/dad? something less formal than just ‘parent’

Rewatching the extended fellowship of the ring compelled me to make this shitpost video of Legolas and Aragorn being besties

The peel perhaps could protect the wizard from any other pineapples. It might be defensive and territorial.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility! I've made 20 of these! That's crazy considering I'm a full time teacher and graduate student.

Send these to someone to crack their egg.

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harry potter is STILL a trending topic meanwhile trans women are not legally protected as women under gender equality in the UK, in no small part due to JKR's massive terf influence and active monetary donations to anti trans causes. if you still actively support JKR, hp, even just liking the characters, fuck you. i have absolutely no respect for you.