Of Course, Multiple Years Is A Long And Normal Amount Of Time To Remember Someone's Brain Fart.

Of course, multiple years is a long and normal amount of time to remember someone's brain fart.

DMing is hard. I acknowledge this. Weaving a story with words for long periods of time means you’re gonna say something silly sometimes when your brain blips. And it’s not your fault that it’s so silly that your players share it around turning it into an inside joke, immortalizing your brain fart moment forever.

My DM was narrating a scene between our tiefling rogue and the NPC she was romancing. He was trying to set the mood for their first kiss, up on a tower overlooking the city, looking into each others eyes. They’d just been on a romantic date, there was a bottle of wine between them. And this was their moment.

The NPC leaned in to kiss the rogue and the kiss was, according to our DM, “long and normal.”

The entire session went off the rails. We became ungovernable creatures of hilarity. How long is normal?

We are informed normal is six seconds and we devolve even further into chaotic paroxysm of laughter. The DM desperately tried to rein us in but for the rest of the session everything took a long and normal amount of time.

My betrothed and I would kiss each other while counting to six in our heads then declare afterward, “Ah yes! Long and normal!”

I accidentally told my school team about it, reasoning that they’d at least never meet the DM who lives out of state. They’d say we needed the scene to be the long and normal length, or hold a pose for a long and normal time.

At the end of the year I invited them to my house for a celebratory meal and was surprised when my DM joined the DnD video call early. My teammates looked at him, expressions slowly spreading into evil grins. “Long and normal!” They greeted him.

He turned a look upon me of utter betrayal while I hustled them out of my house.

“It’s been a year!” He cried at the unfairness.

“Maybe it’ll phase out by next year,” I told him.

More Posts from Heavilyglacialvalhalla and Others

hate how all these apocalyptic films show society breaking down the hot minute the grid goes down, with all the survivors banding off into tiny violent gangs that prey on each other.

bitch you are a member of one of the most social species in existence! it is actually insane the extent to which humans have evolved to use cooperation as our main survival tool. humans have been building and then rebuilding societies for as long as disasters have been bringing them down. an apocalypse would be fucking awful, but the survivors would end up building communities and networks and pooling resources and knowledge, because that's what humans do. that's what they DO!!!

reading/listening to Pratchett's Thief of Time, and this was probably one of my favorite pages, with digs and nods at so many things at once

Reading/listening To Pratchett's Thief Of Time, And This Was Probably One Of My Favorite Pages, With
Reading/listening To Pratchett's Thief Of Time, And This Was Probably One Of My Favorite Pages, With

I play what we've named "cinematic D&D" which is basically collaborative story telling. There's one person assigned "storyteller" and each of the others are characters. The storyteller sets the scene, builds the world (or easier, borrows an existing world, eg. LOTR, Witcher, Blade, etc.). You then play in the same way: 1. storyteller describes the situation. 2. players describe what their character does. 3. storyteller describes what happens.

After you play a bit the story will flow. It's a really great, creative way to pass some time. It also helps if you treat it as cooperation rather than adversaries, even if the storyteller is "being" the adversaries. What I mean by this is not to block the other person's ideas, to accept & include them and ultimately make a good story. This applies to everyone, not just storytellers.

What's the longest/your favourite fanfic you've written?

I've never posted any fics anywhere, actually. I generally just get on discord and type out extremely long-winded character & dialogue scenarios for my friends to live-react to, hahaha. I guess I love the "audience." It's especially fun because they get to provide input along the way, like "okay wait but what if [x charcter] responded like this..." It's like I'm the narrator giving them occasional dialogue options, ha. I had a lot of fun doing a pretty self indulgent tenth doctor au the other month, and right now I'm enjoying "writing" about the BG3 cast along with my friends' player characters. I do have a Geralt x Reader fic sitting in a Google doc right now that I may one day post, god willing and the creek don't rise. We'll see.


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Where I used to live. The arboreal-creature enrichment zones had the occasional adults only night. Where the adults were allowed to enjoy certain debilitating toxins whilst playing in the zone.

I never managed to get to one myself (I was raising small young at the time) but it was a good idea!

Galactic Forum, human guide section.

I think we found the perfect enrichment for human crew members.

Our humans really enjoyed this area we provided for them.

Galactic Forum, Human Guide Section.

They can run, fall, climb and more, to their hearts content.

They really enjoy being lifted and thrown into a large pit of foam blocks, or plastic spheres.

Note: our crew is mostly Xarnian, so we possess the necessary strength to lift the average adult human despite the density they have evolved on their deathworld.

Human larvae enjoy it the most, but even the mature humans are also thrilled by these activities.

Incidents involving "acts of human" are down 18% in the first cycle alone since we installed the enrichment chamber.

Alternate take to the "earth is a death world". What if earth is one of the safest worlds out there?

This could cause the aliens to all have an extremely organised and well planned nature. If something isn't fully planned with contingencies, they just don't survive.

Humans ability to 'just wing it' is unusual and a little concerning. Similarly the human nature to attempt to make friends with local creatures is seen as near suicide to the aliens.

Story to come, just wanted to get the concept written and remembered.


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I've heard the full quote as "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning that chosen and forged ties are stronger than just happening to be family by birth.

heavilyglacialvalhalla - Valhalla

I'M DOING AN EXPERIMENT

To prove something to a friend, please

REBLOG IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

LIKE IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS DON’T BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES


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And more Les Mis in the world just makes it more accessible for someone who may not otherwise be able to go see. If you can't see a really expensive professional performance where you have to travel to it, go see a local amateur group.

I've seen performances by amateurs with very little skill that were so incredibly enjoyable, often more than the professionals. Firstly, the people on stage are just having the best time, it's so exciting and they're making the most of it because their show probably only runs for a week tops. Secondly, the mistakes show they are human and you feel like you're on their side, supporting them telling this story to you. All round great experience.

All these things are natural human behaviours and we should all have opportunities to participate and watch no matter skill level or anything. Fully support this idea.

having grown up doing community theatre and then some professional shows, i genuinely believe from the very bottom of my heart it is crucial that any human with the desire to perform on a stage gets the chance as many times as they like. singing and dancing are innate to humanity yet we've made it inaccessible to all but the select few we deem "good enough" to tolerate. i think people with no pitch and no rhythm and who can't remember their lines should get to be in musicals and plays and choirs and i mean that.

and community performing arts groups & venues shouldn't have to rely on ticket sales to fund their programs. they should be paid for by taxes and freed to focus solely on engaging & enriching the communities in which they exist.

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