All Women Born After 800 AD Do Is Tempt, Blaspheme, Witchcraft, Eat Potent Herbs To Aid In Their Foul

PSA: wear a condom on Valentine's day. We don't need anymore libras and scorpios.

Valentine’s day is NOT a day for lovers, couples, or people in relationships. Valentine’s day is exclusively for elementary school students who each buy their entire class cute little cards with cartoon characters on them, messily scrawl their classmates names there as an act of love, and give them a tiny little candy packet.

that is the height of the holiday.

Shoutout to the comedy duo of TSA agents I just encountered, one of whom called me "sir," the other of whom called me "ma'am," both of whom apologized in unison, each thinking the other was right

no my friend, you don't have a crush. you have serious attachment issues and someone is giving you attention.

*has my feelings surgically removed*

I think a lot about gaining weight as a form of healing

why does wine taste like shit?

Someone: yells at/scolds me

Me,coping the only way I know how:

No shame in getting your bills paid (x)