Happy Valentine's Day Anniversary!

“We’ve known each other a long time. We’ve been on this planet for a long time. I mean, you and me. I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me. We’re a team, a group. Group of the two of us. And we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t. I mean, the last few years, not really. And I would like to spend… I mean if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can. Just the two of us. We don’t need Heaven, we don’t need Hell, they’re toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me, what do you say?”

Crowley’s confession (S2E6 Every Day)

Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

let me wrap my teeth around the world

we’ve peaked

Good Omens | 2.03 'I Know Where I'm Going'

Of course Aziraphale would have stars on his cape for the magic show. Because stars remind him of Crowley, and Crowley always has his back.

It happened one night, in 1941.

(aka how to get away with an insane amount of romantic tropes and innuendos) Part two.

I had to split this into two parts due to this app’s absolute lack of common sense in understanding that 10 images are not enough as a visual support for the 1941 flashback. Here’s the first part.

Now, where were we?

…

Yes, right. The proof that Aziraphale is indeed the strongest angel.

“I'm a lonely GI anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Ladies of Camelot. Amaze me. […] Go on, Mr. British man, wow me with your miracles.”

Yes, Aziraphale, wow him with your…

Jokes aside - or not… listen I can’t get over the level of shameless flirting in this whole American GI/magician roleplay. ANYWAY the real point here is to show us how comfortable they are with each other. Keep in mind that this whole “consorting with the enemy” thing is technically forbidden by both heaven and hell. And yet here they are: at ease, flirty and even a bit silly. Aziraphale with his ♪ The West End ♪ little dance, Crowley with his American accent: this is (chronologically) the first time we see them together in the bookshop and it's as if we’re taking a glimpse of domestic life. Or, rather, what it could be. The mood of the scene is light and fun and, for a while, they’re simply being themselves, without all the heaven/hell drama.

Aziraphale is often belittled by others. During season 1, Gabriel not only doesn't understand why Azi is consuming food, but in episode 4 he tells him to “lose the gut”. Shax call him “The softest touch. The one who went native” and then proceed to mock him “Do you need more big human meals, Aziraphale? Shall we send up the sushi?” Azi likes food, comfy clothes and a cozy environment, and others make him feel like he should be ashamed for it. But, with Crowley, he feels comfortable enough to show his interest in something human and trivial as magic tricks. And Crowley with his “You, my Nefertiti fooling fellow, are about to perform on the West End Stage. If that doesn't make you a professional conjurer, I don't know what does” makes him happy. Aziraphale feels valued, supported and encouraged, as he should be. Also, I don’t wanna say that he may have a praise kink, but… Antony J - acts of service - Crowley is good with words of affirmation too.

Then they go to the magic shop and flirt even more. Aziraphale is having the time of his life: he has found someone to share his special interest with, someone who doesn't judge him. And Crowley’s having fun too! They’re genuinely happy around each other.

“You're going to need a 100% reliable marksman. Someone you can really trust. Otherwise, it's lethal.”

“Oh, I've got the perfect man for the job.”

Of course Aziraphale hears the word “trust” and immediately thinks of Crowley. And if you dare to say iT’s oNLy BecAUSe cROwLey iS riGHt tHeRe I’m sorry, but you have to rewatch the series from episode one. I don’t make the rules.

“You'll do the shooting, I'll catch the bullet. I'll do all the hard bits. As a demon, you must have fired off a lot of guns, yeah?”

Yeah. I warned you about the innuendos. Crowley wants to be a supporting husband, but also wants to play the cool one and so he doesn’t admit that he had never fired a rifle. More important, they’re having a great time, Aziraphale is so excited at the idea of the show and Crowley doesn’t want to say no to his angel. He will never want to say no to him. Until he will be left with no other choice.

Crowley sways, uncertain, and Aziraphale follows his gaze, maintaining eye contact. (On a sad note, Aziraphale will do the exact same thing in the final 15 minutes, but this time Crowley will say no, putting his sunglasses back on. It will be the last time Aziraphale will see his eyes. In this season at least).

Look at the picture above: we still have the warm, soft light - they are in a secluded corner and the colors are softer than the bright ones in the rest of the shop, to convey an idea of intimacy - but there’s a sword hanging over their hands. A bad omen indeed.

But don’t get sad: we are about to witness some real magic.

“I bet you're all thinking, "What's that man doing up there, on the stage? Is he here to amaze and befuddle us all with his prestidigitation… and jiggery-pokery?"

Which apparently is a real word. No, Aziraphale, I’m thinking about the fact that Furfur has blocked yours and Crowley’s miracles and so you two idiots (affectionate) are on your own.

“Aim for my mouth, but shoot past my ear. I just squeeze that there, do I not? Haven't you fired a gun before?”

…

I'll leave this up to your interpretation.

Crowley is forced to admit that this is his first time. With the rifle, I mean.

Then we have this sequence. If you're wondering why it was important for us to see the magic show, beyond the funny bits, here we are.

Suddenly the mood has changed, from funny to tense. Crowley is slighty shaking his head and mouthing a soft, but clear NO. And, if I just hear someone say iT’s bECaUSe oF tHe pAperWoRK…

“Never mind the paperwork, they probably won't be able to put him back together again.”

Thank you, Furfur. (On a lighter note: is Crowley wearing red nail polish in the picture above - and not in the close-up below - why am I discovering this only now??)

Crowley is worried. He's really, really worried. He’s afraid of hurting Aziraphale. Crowley knows to be an unreliable marksman, he knows that he should have told Aziraphale. And he knows that he would never, ever forgive himself if something bad has to happened to Aziraphale because of him. That would be unbearable. That "unforgivable, that’s what I am" would really become true, in the worst way possible.

Crowley doesn't know what to do. A 6000 year old immortal being and his hand is freaking shaking because is afraid to hurt his… whatever you wish to call. He knows he can't trust himself. But do you know who he can trust? Aziraphale. Aziraphale whispers “trust me” e so Crowley does. Even if he’s scared. Even if his finger is still shaking on the trigger. And that “trust me” from Aziraphale is a two-way street. It’s a “trust me, because I have trust in you”.

If you want a good visual reference of Crowley’s no and Aziraphale’s trust me I suggest this beautiful gifset by @rosettyller

Obviously things go well. The audience applauds. We have the “no paperwork” line for all the paperwork aficionados and for lighten up the mood again. Aziraphale is over the moon. Crowley puts himself together as if he wasn’t shaking a few minutes before. They would be free to unwind in the dressing room, but Furfur barges in, accusing Crowley of collaborating with the enemy. Back into the “forbidden romance” trope territory again.

“The miraculous Bullet Catch requires the use of a trusted stooge and confidant.”

Give me strength. Even Furfur has figured out what's going on - that's how started the rumors that Aziraphale and Crowley were an item. Luckily, Azi manages to recover the polaroid, which is the only evidence of his and Crowley’s… whatever you wish to call it. WHERE is this polaroid now? I need to know.

“I knew you would come through for me. You always do.”

“Well, you said trust me.”

“And you did. You could've walked away. If you were truly as evil as you like to paint yourself, you would've done that.”

“Nah. That's the trouble with you lot. You don't just see things in black and white. Sometimes, you've just gotta blur the edges.”

“Well, maybe there is something to be said for. Shades of grey.”

*scraping all the lame jokes about a certain book and shades of grey out of the draft*

That’s it. That’s the all point. First, trust. Mutual trust. From the beginning in the church to the magic show, trust is the recurring theme of the 1941 flashback. It’s also the foundation of their relationship. I can always rely on you, you can always rely on me. Over the centuries, they have influenced each other. Aziraphale, despite the prejudices he has been indoctrinated into, has come to trust a demon. Crowley, despite his rejection trauma, has come to trust someone again, an angel no less. That’s because, over the time, they repeatedly chose each other, they repeatedly gave each other a reason to be the object of their respective trust. And so we can see a little moment like this, where the labels "angel" and "demon" don't matter, as they shouldn’t. When they’re alone, just like that, they’re themselves, they’re them, they’re an us.

Also, the shades of grey. Angels are not inherently good and demons are not inherently evil. The system is wrong to its core and it must be dismantled.

Now, let’s take a moment and a deep breath.

It is common belief in the fandom - and I agree - that the 1941 flashback isn’t over yet. We leave Crowley and Aziraphale all lovey-dovey, sitting at a candlelit dinner, alone, with a bottle of red wine. The romantic setting par excellence. I don't think they kissed - because everything in s02e06 suggests that THE kiss is a first kiss, at least in my opinion - but something else must have happened that evening. We know that Aziraphale did the apology dance at some point. We know that A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square was written in 1939 and published in 1940. It’s plausible that they heard it that night. And we know that Azi, for some reason, will say You go too fast for me, Crowley in 1967.

BuT AzIRaPhalE wAS tALKiNg AbOUt The cAR.

Please just rewatch the show.

aziraphale being great at art like yeah just IMAGINE the amount of drawings of crowley he secretly has and makes

Just wanted to do something simple and cute, to feel a moment’s happiness, okay? Okay!

Why are they wearing their 1941 magic show outfits? I don’t know. What’s going on? No idea. Why does it kind of look like a vintage postcard? Don’t have a clue!

What I do know, though, is that prints of this one are up on Redbubble, full-size image is up on Patreon.