2500 BC, The Land Of Uz

Super duper late at the party but I brought cake! 🎂🎉

Happy belated birthday to my wonderful Babus @umulata ♥️ You’re one of the most considerate, kind, incredibly splendid creature on Earth, not to mention how unfairly talented. I know you had a great day, and you deserve so many more, I wish you all the better things life can bring your way! 💕 This is a tribute to her beautiful Astarthia from Umu’s Etruscan Good Omens AU 🏺

-

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/COqnxbzF9Hl/?igshid=umc3r0p12joj

Every day I wake up and want to know what happened between 1941 and 1967

Somehow secured DT Macbeth tickies! Just got to prepare myself to go to the big smoke

Eartha Kitt photographed by Terry O’Neill, January 1989. 

When I tell you I NEED Aziraphale and Crowley to kiss again, I mean it.

Anyone who thinks asexual people don’t kiss (or don’t have sex, but that’s not the point of this post) is misinformed. Asexual people - or celestial beings, for that matter - absolutely can and do express feelings and desires by acting physically upon them. Many ace people enjoy the sensations, the nuances, the feelings involved in the physical expressions of love - the only difference is HOW they experience attraction, which has NOTHING to do with kissing or sex, but with what motivates wanting to do those things.

With that said, let’s go back to everyone’s favorite idiots: Aziraphale and Crowley.

During their kiss, you can literally see them pulling each other in, like they need to be as close as physically possible in that moment. You can see it as Aziraphale embraces Crowley for a split second, and you can see it as Crowley throws himself onto Aziraphale more and more during the kiss. He can’t even pull back for a single second, not even to adjust to the kiss - he just GLUES his lips to Aziraphale’s.

Aziraphale’s look after the kiss CANONICALLY means “do it again, please, right now”, as Rob Wilkins already clarified. And that is writing perfection. It creates the angst - the cue - we need to make sure a second kiss - the reward - happens. I’ve been saying this in almost every post, but here i go again: the whole point of angst is that it HAS to pay off eventually, it HAS to be followed by relief, otherwise it’s just angst for the sake of angst.

Aziraphale mouths “no” as Crowley is leaving. He doesn’t say it, but he wants to. Whatever that means, whatever the reason for the “rejection” after the kiss was, the kiss changed something. He wasn’t expecting it, but he was heartbroken to see that Crowley thought he didn’t want it. You can see him not being able to keep his eyes off the door - and later on, off the window he can see Crowley through. He almost changes his mind - and that is still true even if he had a plan all along, he didn’t think Crowley would KISS him and that blows his mind.

He touches his lips after Crowley leaves. He relives that moment by doing so, but also realizes something completely new: Crowley did what Aziraphale had spent millennia wishing for him to do, but did it in the worst possible moment. He almost loses the strength to carry on with whatever it is his plan required. But he doesn’t. He pulls it together, and goes back to heaven.

Wether Crowley knows he has a plan (the “trust me” theory) or believes he was truly rejected, they both know they crossed that line for good. They both know that, if they’re ever reunited, they will never be able to act like platonic friends again. Aziraphale, in a beautifully made parallel to the ox rib scene, realizes he had been starving for Crowley’s touch. And that is just absolutely beautiful.

If you’ve seen my post about why this couple NEEDS a happy ending, you already know why i think Good Omens is the perfect show to give queer couples back their hopes for love. I think we are all tired of the tragic gays / couple baiting fictional couples. Now we need the happily ever after. The fairytale. The cheesy, chaotic, rom-com-y, EPIC resolution. We NEED them to kiss again. We NEED them to be happy.

I REST MY CASE.

"little demonic miracle of my own" yeah yeah but "lift home?" obliterated. instant kill

Watching good omens is like reading a fic tagged #angst with a happy ending and #south downs cottage and the angst goes hardddd but you reach the author’s note at the end and it says the next update will be in a few years

Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

“Bitch, we were role playing damsel in distress and the rescuer perfectly in Bastille already. I did not dress up like the prettiest princess for him for you to now suggest that I am not his type. You know nothing.”