Been Thinking A Lot About Anticipatory Grief Lately. I Love You So Much That I Know Losing You Will Devastate

been thinking a lot about anticipatory grief lately. i love you so much that i know losing you will devastate me. i haven't lost you yet but i already miss you. we still have time, but it won't be enough. i think about what i would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause i need you to know how loved you are before you go. you will go where i cannot follow, but you will never really leave me. it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow.

More Posts from Gentlepages and Others

2 months ago
Fatima Aamer Bilal, Excerpt From Moony Moonless Sky’s ‘i Am An Observer, But Not By Choice.’

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’

[text id: my fist has always been clenched around the handle of an invisible suitcase. / i am always ready to leave. / there is not a single room in this world where i belong.]

5 months ago
Compilation
Compilation
Compilation
Compilation
Compilation
Compilation

compilation

5 months ago

i hope everything gets easier soon. or at least funnier. amen

2 years ago

anyway literally everyone is going through something all the time!!! everyone is wounded!!! everyone is human & no one makes it out of this life unscathed!! maybe try approaching people in good faith instead of always defaulting to the worst possible interpretations of each other

2 years ago
"James Baldwin, The Art Of Fiction No. 78", An Interview By Jordan Elgrably

"James Baldwin, The Art of Fiction No. 78", An Interview by Jordan Elgrably

5 months ago

& you know what it actually IS lifechanging to smile at strangers & say please & thank you & goodmorning & compliment someones outfit & help someone in need & be more accepting of loving other people just because they are other people!!!

4 months ago
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown
@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / Bone Deep, M.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / Unknown

@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / bone deep, m.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / unknown / 60 hours, m.v.e / @itsblackleader / Salt, Nayyirah Waheed / @heavensghost

2 years ago

hobbies don’t have to be witnessed to be valid.

please: read, game, run, write, take photos alone. these things and their results don’t always have to be shared; doing them for yourself is good.

do want to share them? that’s good too

2 years ago

it's just that sometimes you have to love a thing including the ways that it inconveniences you like i keep picking dog hair out of my clothes because he steals things from my laundry basket to lay on them while i'm gone and whenever i use my laptop i have to type with my arms in a parabola to make room for his head on my legs and yes it's kind of a far ride to my mom's house but she always remembers to have dairy-free options available just in case i stop at home and nick lives in another timezone so we have to plan our calls carefully to be sure he's available and i'm not in bed and i hate driving and looking for parking but it means i get to visit my friends and i hate doing dishes but i'll do a million if it means i get to throw a dinner party for everybody and i hate being cold but one time we stood outside in the snow for 5 hours waiting for a concert, bundled up and red-nosed

i always apologize about the ways i take up space even when they're medical like at a restaurant i usually have to take the moment to say i really am allergic, sorry, and feel like i am making everyone around me angry and i always apologize when i am too tired to be funny or when i actually really do need to take care of my human body because it feels like i'm making everything about-me and i always apologize for the ways that i become needy; how i get scared when we're high up (and no for real please get down it actually kind of stops being funny) or how i panic if i hear a loud noise i wasn't expecting or how it's been years but there are days when i'm still doing the same shit, still drowning

the trick about relaxing, i think. like the answer to why i couldn't trust the idea anyone actually likes me. was realizing that at some point i am going to be an inconvenience, which means that at some point i need to trust other people want me to take up space. and yes, some people have to take up a lot of space. but. i relish this little gratitude: making room for people and things in my life. i love picking the dog hairs out of my food - it means i get to have a dog. i love answering the phone at 3 in the morning - it means someone is on the other line, and i can help them weave through life. i love the little chores - it means i have something productive to do. so what if you take up space - it means this world gets to have you.

2 years ago

i’d say the best thing i have learned this year is to just let people be who they naturally are. no psychoanalyzing them, no overthinking my actions, no asking what i could possibly do to keep their presence in my life. i just bring my best self to the table and always move from a place of love and respect. how that person responds is ultimately up to them. if that causes them to exit my life, i just let it happen. i will never be in the business of changing people. people are only ever ready to change when they’ve made the conscious decision to. all i can do is check myself and be kind always.

  • presentabsence
    presentabsence reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • 27th-beeping-hedgehog
    27th-beeping-hedgehog reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • goodnightlaika
    goodnightlaika liked this · 1 month ago
  • mixtureel
    mixtureel liked this · 1 month ago
  • allegedtomfoolery
    allegedtomfoolery liked this · 2 months ago
  • doc-main
    doc-main liked this · 2 months ago
  • twig-gy
    twig-gy reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • anawynnn
    anawynnn liked this · 2 months ago
  • not-so-blue
    not-so-blue liked this · 2 months ago
  • stalagmyte
    stalagmyte liked this · 2 months ago
  • vivithdragtonhear
    vivithdragtonhear reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • parkinglotviolence
    parkinglotviolence reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • ddurandals
    ddurandals reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • ddurandals
    ddurandals liked this · 2 months ago
  • bewitching-beats
    bewitching-beats liked this · 2 months ago
  • macchiatosdumptruck
    macchiatosdumptruck liked this · 2 months ago
  • miusmusings
    miusmusings reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • miusmusings
    miusmusings liked this · 2 months ago
  • themundanedumpling
    themundanedumpling reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • themundanedumpling
    themundanedumpling liked this · 2 months ago
  • xoheartsaurore
    xoheartsaurore liked this · 2 months ago
  • xoheartsaurore
    xoheartsaurore reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • bonesinplywood
    bonesinplywood liked this · 2 months ago
  • inmyarmsyoufell
    inmyarmsyoufell liked this · 2 months ago
  • mimisfilmsunedited
    mimisfilmsunedited reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • mimisfilmsunedited
    mimisfilmsunedited liked this · 2 months ago
  • mathiemarsz
    mathiemarsz liked this · 2 months ago
  • codekissed
    codekissed liked this · 2 months ago
  • kyziracrow
    kyziracrow liked this · 2 months ago
  • alexweeks
    alexweeks liked this · 2 months ago
  • kiki42o69
    kiki42o69 reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • feerique
    feerique reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • guangxi-sky
    guangxi-sky reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • rosyfoam
    rosyfoam reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • mxrb1d-mxse
    mxrb1d-mxse reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • nat-mp4
    nat-mp4 reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • astankind
    astankind reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • oqal
    oqal liked this · 2 months ago
  • harri-etvane
    harri-etvane liked this · 2 months ago
  • aerstic-spire
    aerstic-spire reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • sempiternalsummer
    sempiternalsummer liked this · 2 months ago
  • villa-kulla
    villa-kulla liked this · 2 months ago
  • catpursebitch
    catpursebitch liked this · 2 months ago
  • castronomicalmistakes
    castronomicalmistakes reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • fracturedechoes
    fracturedechoes liked this · 2 months ago
  • coldequation
    coldequation reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • brokeafideas
    brokeafideas reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • haleyatwell
    haleyatwell reblogged this · 2 months ago

eaten or rotten, i am all mouth

71 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags