Ten Was So Tormented And Downright Broken In The End Of His Spell. So Much In Need Of Comfort And Solace,

Tell me you said no.

Tell me we were on the same page, that you know Heaven is just as terrible as Hell, that there is no good side, no right people, that both sides are happy to destroy all life on Earth if they come out on top.

Tell me you said no.

Tell me you remember how terrified they made you every time you did something good that wasn’t Good by the laws of Heaven. Tell me you value yourself more than that.

Tell me you said no.

Tell me I wasn’t alone in seeing all that cruelty done to humans and wanting no part in it. Tell me you’re not going back to help those people.

Tell me you said no.

Tell me you’re not going back to the people who hurt me first, the oldest, deepest wound. Tell me you understand why I can never go back there. Tell me you know I didn’t deserve it.

Tell me you said no.

How much have we lost!

Specifically – a chance to see David Tennant in the role of "a cross-dressing, cocaine-snorting therapist", OMFG.

"Screenwriter Paula Milne, who wrote The Politician's Husband, says Tennant can convey "a kind of damaged humanity… although he may not have been that likeable you felt he had gone on a journey where he became that person".

"Sometimes when you write a very tough, muscular character the actor says, 'yes, but will they like me?' That is a question he never asked. He took it on and delivered it."

She previously discussed another project with Tennant, about a "cross-dressing, cocaine-snorting therapist". Despite his enthusiasm, it proved "too out there" for the BBC or Channel 4, Milne recalls. "He was up for it. He read it and said he would love to do it." Perhaps, in a parallel universe, he still will.”

If only I could go and get a glimpse into this parallel universe!

I love The Politician's Husband – it's definitely in my personal top of things DT has done for television. It provides a gripping and poignant insight into the psyche of an essentially decent human being, whose chain of decisions becomes a downhill slide that irrevocably ruins his life, his family, burns him out – and literally kills someone he loves. Heartbreaking stuff.  

BTW, I'm actually quite surprised that anything is really "too out there" for Channel 4. Reminds me of the scene from Life Of Mars where Sam Tyler, during the raid on the porn studio, casually remarks: "Hardcore? I've seen worse on Channel 4". And that was a decade earlier!

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2013/nov/14/david-tennant-profile 

With love like this, who needs miracles?

I wanted to make a separate post about this, because the entire magic-show story in GO2 makes me feral.

Like, for a lot of reasons, but especially for how they both pull off something amazing despite being cut off from miracles entirely. And for the same reason.

Crowley has never used a firearm. His finger is visible shaking on the trigger. But if he misses, Aziraphale will be discorporated, violently. So he doesn't miss. That bullet flies true, a beautiful shot. You'd think it was miraculous, but we know better.

Aziraphale is terrible at magic. He fumbles multiple tricks before this scene. But if he messes up swapping those photos, Crowley gets dragged down to Hell. So he doesn't mess up. For once in his life, he pulls off a brilliant feat of sleight-of-hand. And it's not a miracle at all.

The point of all this, I'm certain, is showing us how strongly they care about each other. So strongly, it bends the laws of probability. When they have to protect each other, when the other needs them, they don't fail. 'I got it right the time that mattered.' You sure did, Aziraphale. You both did.

And looking at this, and the way their joint miracle turned out to be insanely powerful, it's becoming clear that their connection is potent. And it's a power that Heaven and Hell can't take away.

Which matters a lot, because I don't think humans are going to save the day this time. I think Crowley and Aziraphale are going to bear the burden this time. Not without help, I'm sure, but they're not bystanders this time. They're being positioned on the front lines of this catastrophe. It's their problem to figure out. And they have the power to do it, but to tap into it, they have to be together.

(Yeah, sorry fellas, the fate of the world rests on you two making up. No pressure.)

But it'll be okay. Because they get it right when it matters.

I think my favourite line in season 2 is crowley's "he's far too pure of heart to be anybody's bit on the side" because any time we get to hear the way crowley talks about aziraphale to other people is a joy, but also it's just so genuine and full of so much love. he's not speaking about aziraphale with any agenda, he's just speaking off the cuff. it's ridiculously sweet. it's also hilarious because it's crowley's immediate reaction to nina suggesting that they're casually sleeping together and crowley's like, um no, we're not, but fyi if we were I would be treating him right!

Crowley has a bad habit of being the architect of his own misery.

From what he's sure was Earth's first (and, in his opinion, worst) hangover, to shutting down London's mobile networks only to have to make an urgent call himself, or purchasing the cheapest plant mister and using it in a bluff only to have it leak giving the damn game away, Crowley is frequently frustrated and frequently so at himself.

Now is no different.

He's sitting alone in his car (it still smells like angel and yellow and good lord he didn't know he could be this miserable) with only his plants for company and running through the last few days in his mind and wondering exactly where he cocked the whole thing up.

There was progress, he's sure of it. There were touches, moreso than usual. Hell, he thought he was going to drag the angel off to, well, somewhere, when they were at the pub and he just oh so casually placed his hand over Crowley's useless heart.

He can still feel it, those thick, strong, warm hands that even through layers of fabric felt divine and it made him want things. Tangibly want.

Imminently want.

How was that mere days ago? How had it gone so pear shaped so quickly? He went slow, he did the right things, he tried to protect his angel like he's always done. Well, bugger him for a lark considering how all that turned out.

He knows things now, like the depth of commitment Aziraphale had to the almighty and certainly not to him.

He knows what it's like to love and hate someone in a moment in equal measure. Knows what it's like to have someone awfully close but never further away.

He knows how the angel tastes, the love of his damned pointless, interminable existence, but only when tinged with fury and betrayal and desperation. (It was never supposed to be like that, it wasn't). He knows how soft those lips really are and he knows how those hands would grab him and maybe, in the right circumstances, pull him closer and then maybe-

He wishes he knew less. He'd like to know nothing at present.

But there's nothing for it now, Aziraphale's gone where Crowley can't follow and for the first time in six millenia, Crowley is untethered and entirely alone. Not the kind that protects you but the kind the hollows you out.

He had always promised himself he'd never tell Aziraphale howhe felt, would never break that boundary. Now that he knows how it plays out, he can't help but think he was right, Maggie and Nina be damned.

For the original tempter, the being who brought knowledge to humans and defended that with his entire infernal being, he's currently questioning if this is just one, big, awful joke with him as the natural punchline.

Knowledge, it turns out, is a real heavy burden.

Now we’ve had this bi-generation I just think we should go full unhinged and have gold tooth turn into Simm Master. Have a full ‘why has this face returned?’ parallel. Shove him into retired life with Tennant’s doctor. Scale down their enmity to absolutely microscopic proportions. From cosmic scale to just domestic life. Have the Nobles stuck in the front row watching them sort their shit out.

I want them trying to survive Sylvia Noble together. I want them at war with their neighbours. I want them battling with the chaos of Evri deliveries - ‘not even the TARDIS can locate the safe place they’ve apparently left it in’. Have them arguing in Tesco over whether it really matters whether eggs are free range. They can make up by getting their own chickens which The Master can regularly threaten to roast much to Rose’s horror (but he won’t because he named them after the Teletubbies and The Doctor knows he’d never hurt Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa or Po… and he just enjoys having dominion over lesser creatures or something 🙄)

I want aliens turning up for their regularly scheduled fuck with London at Christmas time moment only to be faced with the two of them in their matching Noble family Christmas jumpers (and they will be wearing them because have you met Donna?) And no, The Master hasn’t gone soft, he doesn’t care about Earth in general, but the Strictly final is on and he’s a little invested in that.

I want Donna, in her new UNIT job, explaining this to her new colleagues. Because they know The Doctor and The Master, they’ve seen the files, and they just…live in her garden now.

Imagine they went back to Crowley’s apartment after they stopped the Armageddon and Aziraphale could see Crowley trying to keep himself awake but all that power he had to use to drive through fire and stop time and then brainstorming for hours with Aziraphale how they’re going to switch… finally exhaustion won and his eyes closed, curled up on the sofa, sliding down unconsciously to get himself a little more comfortable.

And Aziraphale did not know where any blankets were so he just grabbed his beige coat and pulled it over his lithe body.

(Aka why I’ve never seen any art of Aziraphale pulling his beige coat over Crowley’s shoulders)

I'm not a "coffee theory" enthusiast but does anyone else feel like Aziraphale like, literally didn't hear and/or understand a word of Crowley's love confession? And I do mean literally - it seems Aziraphale did not get it at all. He never responds directly to a word that Crowley says about them. I mean Crowley says they've spent their existence pretending not to be a couple and Aziraphale doesn't address that?? Crowley says they can be like Beelz & Gabe and Aziraphale just looks at him like ????? Then Azi just goes "come with me!" almost as if Crowley hasn't spoken. What is this fuckery.

When I first watched Good Omens 2 I was surprised by the ending. I had been so focused the romance of the season. The Jane Austen, the witty retorts, the dancing, the secrets glancing. I took the bait and when the ending came I fell hook line and sinker. Much like Crowley I felt I had drove into a pot of boiling sulfur. But then looking back I realized if I had actually been following the story we were being told instead as of getting swept up in the romance, I would have realized it was never going to end happily.

The flashbacks are what really foretell the ending. They aren’t just fun romps through history. They serve a purpose. And the purpose is to set up and elaborate upon how Crowely and Aziraphale see the world and each other, and how they see heaven, hell and earth. And what these flashbacks prove is they have huge gaps between the ways they see the world that need to be bridged. Those gaps could have been crossed ages ago but as the flashbacks show multiple times- Crowley and Aziraphale don’t communicate well and that leads to disaster. It will destroy them if they don’t sort it out- I mean their ability to communicate is so lacking that it literally ends with Crowley pointing a gun in Aziraphale’s face and shooting it. And he gets in this pickle because he loves him! Which is pretty twisted! And if the gun wasn’t dangerous enough their friendship them almost gets revealed to hell by zombies- grossly incompetent zombies at that! If Aziraphale hadn’t managed to pull off that magic trick- which easily could have happened. He’s very bad at magic. Who knows what horrible things would have happened to the both of them.

This miscommunication gap also hurts the people around them. If Crowley had explained the why Elspeth was graverobbing to Aziraphale instead of letting him watch and figure out for himself maybe things wouldn’t have gone so far and Wee Morag wouldn’t have ended up dead. Or at least Aziraphale and Crowley could have found away to help Wee Morag that didn’t involved inspiring displays of well… Scottishness? while being drunk on laudanum that end up with Crowley getting sent to hell and tortured (tortured to the point that some people have pointed out that when Crowley gets he asks for holy water for insurance- which is just plain sad and awful, and leads to even more conflict between Aziraphale and Crowley. Or if Aziraphale hadn’t felt the need to plan an entire ball just to dance with Crowley- cause let’s be honesty that’s really why he did it- maybe all of his guests wouldn’t have ended up in danger.

I remember upon watching the episode with the graveyard and Scottish Crowley- being dismayed with how behind ideologically Aziraphale was compared to Crowley. I knew he would do a huge amount of growing in the two centuries to follow. But part of me had filled in the blanks and assumed he would be farther along in that journey by the 1800s. I remember wondering how he was going to catch up in between then and the present day. When I watched the finale episode I realized he hasn’t caught up. He hasn’t quite made the leap away from heaven. He might think he has and Crowley might even be starting to think that too. He even had us as an audience beginning to think he had let go of that baggage But Aziraphale’s problem is he wants to do good . He wants to save the world and heaven with it. he can’t quite give up the ghost- he is too self sacrificial. He’s going to need to learn that he, like many kids of abusive parents- can’t fix the situation he came from. Not without sacrificing himself. He’s going to have to stop running and confront his baggage to truly be free of it. And Crowley on the other hand needs to realize he can’t just run from his past. He needs to reckon with his time as both angel and demon. He needs to grieve what was taken from him instead of just living in opposition to it. Because Crowley’s problem is he too wants to save the world. He just wants to do it in his own (and maybe with Aziraphale, but mostly on his own). He too is way too self sacrificial to the point that he sacrifices himself and his sense of self time and time again all in the name of his own side. His side may be the only truly good one between heaven and hell. But he is only one entity. He has to learn to open up again. To truly open up. Which is why it’s so frustrating that when he finally opens up to Aziraphale in episode 6, things go wrong! But as frustrating as it is, it sets an amazing stage. It gives Aziraphale the chance to build up Crowley’s trust. To build up Crowley’s faith in them as team. So that when Crowley opens his heart again it’s done on his own terms and in a way that is healing. Poor Crowley has been though so much, and he has been through so much of it alone. People can affirm themselves and their path’s in life only so much with out needing some support from others. Notice how Crowley is still living in his car. He never asked if he could move into Aziraphale’s bookshop. He sees himself as a burden, as not good enough for the angelic Aziraphale that he so admires. He probably thinks he would weigh him down. Crowley needs affirmation to heal. He needs to be loved and not loved in a way that’s cloaked with shame, but loved in a way that is able to sit with self comfortable. But Aziraphale is not at the point where he can give that love yet. When that happens he can help Crowley heal from his abandonment by heaven. He’s been picking up after heaven’s mistakes since before his fall. It’s time for someone to take care of him in return. Because as much as Crowley says his actions have nothing to do with heaven or hell, he does still feel burdened by their weight. Now he can’t do this journey just with Aziraphale. He needs to do some of it on his own. Bu he needs love to heal- we all do. So does Aziraphale. They can give each other that. But they have to be ready to. They have to do the work they need to do on themselves to get to that point.

some of my favorite panels from the gomens comic I made