Lestappen This, Landoscar That,

#wake up babe, new enemies to lovers dropped

GEN V (2023-)

Save Lestat, mid eternal life crisis moment clutching his driftwood body pillow

daniel wake up. daniel my love the people online are making fun of me. look at this. i—yes i know you just woke up and i’m levitating over our bed in a quote unquote “ominous” way. just look. you see, they are taking this photograph of me and adding ridiculous captions. and look. daniel stop laughing please. do you honestly think that i, a five hundred year old immortal vampire, would be so easily swindled by an internet scammer? i have seen empires rise and fall. i’ve watched time, people, landscapes, all turn to dust around me. do they truly believe that i am so foolish as to—daniel you promised not to bring up the Credit Card Incident. nor the Social Security Number Incident. look at this one. daniel. daniel beloved this is serious i don’t even play minecraft that much anymore. i’ve branched out. it’s like you don’t even appreciate our tiny perfect life in the sims four. daniel. you hate our virtual child. our beautiful mr pickles the cat. is this what i have to put up with for the rest of our immortal lives? you laughing at me? daniel—

iwtv happy family moments (0:06)

this is kind of my favorite genre of image ever. like THIS is what the internet is for

The vampire bond. There is no human equivalent (...) It's a bond that can never fully be severed. A bond like that makes you believe there are only two of you on the planet. Freedom and chastity wrapped in one person.

only freaks who fuck nasty fight like this

The vampire bond. I was severing one and knitting another.

Schumacher, pointing at Sebastian: Yes this is my child, yes he bites and that's alright

Sebastian, with a screwdriver in his hand: I'M GOING TO POKE HOLES ON WEBBER'S PORSCHE

Schumacher: Yeah you go do that son

#FUCK