He Actually Lives 2 Blocks Down, But Whenever He Sees You Shoveling He Offers To Plow It For You. My

He also always kinda seems inebriated in one way or another, like you can't tell if he's high or drunk or if it's just him

If the one guy on the block who snowplows the whole block doesn't get into heaven I will personally fight God for his ticket

My dad (who's in AA and has been for years) was telling me about a guy from AA who lived in Venice, not far from the beach, where tons of homeless people lived. And when he was having a bad day, he would go to the store, but a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly. He'd make the whole loaf into peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, put them all back into the bread bag, and go down to the beach and pass the sandwiches out. The man said that it never failed to bring him anything but gratitude.

There was a similar story with some guys in LA (where he used to live). After 5 o'clock, everyone would leave work and go home, leaving downtown a sort-of ghost town, except for the homeless. A couple guys would go to a store that sells canned goods, get a couple cans of refried beans, cook up a bunch of rice and beans, and make a bunch of burritos. Then they would put them all in a bag, get on their bikes and ride around the city, handing them out.

I used to (and still sometimes do) this thing where if I realize I'm feeling down, or just having a crappy day, I set a goal or maybe 5 or 10 people, and I have to compliment that many people by the end of the day, and it can be strangers or someone I haven't talked to in a while, or someone I talk to everyday. By one or two people, im usually feeling a lot better, and it can actually help.

If you ever have a bad day, or just want to make someone else's day better, do it! Helping people (without overworking yourself) is a form of helping yourself!

You ever realize how much faith we put in our families? Like sometimes when I'm just walking around and my sibling or someone will be eating something and just hand me a piece, that shit is gone before I even saw the color! Like they could just hand me a pill and I'd down it BEFORE I ASK what it is?? That could've been poison!! It could've been a tracking device!! A laxative!!

crying rn 🥹

you know what? i'm giving you all an ultimatum. either we cancel thursdays completely or everything is now thursday. you have 3 days.

Autumn is here, folks, and your local Iowan is here to remind you of the basic principles of Corn Maze Safety:

Make sure you go with a partner! You don’t want to be alone and lost in the maze!

Take a map! You may want to try navigate on your own, but it’s best to keep a guide handy in case you lose your way!

Bring a water bottle with a sealed top! It will keep you hydrated, and the closed top will stop any water from spilling on the thirsty corn. Remember, thirsty corn is docile corn!

Wear long sleeves! Although dead leaves aren’t quite as sharp as green leaves, they can still cut you. And they will, if you give them the chance.

If a stalk does draw blood, spill some water from your bottle on the ground near its roots and move on. Hopefully, the water will quench its thirst long enough for you to escape.

Be careful what you eat before you go into the maze! Avoid cornstarch, corn syrup, and all corn products. The corn can smell itself in your blood.

Remember, scarecrows are there for YOUR protection. As long as the corn thinks you’re with others, it won’t make any sudden moves.

If you see a scarecrow wave, wave back. It gets lonely, and you will too if you’re not kind.

If you are alone in a cornfield, pretend you’re talking to a friend! The plants have ears, but no eyes, and they are easily fooled. Get out before they catch wise!

The breeze is lying to you; don’t listen to it. It cannot lead you home.

If you’re lost, look to the sun for directions, not the shadows. The shadows like to watch you struggle.

Never, ever walk off the provided paths! The paths are safe routes carefully created by the farmer. If you leave the path, you may never see it again.

Keep an eye on the time while wandering! You don’t want to be in a cornfield after dark. You really don’t.

In a pinch, many people try praying to the Harvest God for assistance. This is often a poor choice; you’re just as likely to be harvested as you are to be helped.

If you see a single green corn stalk among the brown, turn around. You don’t want to know how it keeps itself warm in the cold.

Remember, Corn Mazes can be fun autumnal activities if you’re careful! Just follow these simple rules and you’ll almost certainly make it home.

The Tier list according to my mom

S - Superior

A - Awesome

B - Better

C - Crappy

D - Disgusting

E - Extra Disgusting

F - Fucking Disgusting

and on April 13th, 2006, niel banged out the tunes, and it was good

Ok guys, raise of hands, who actually found love in October?

Haha not me purposefully "losing track of time" at a coffee shop, taking the longest bus route home, and avoiding my responsibilities at all costs lol im so quirky