Gonna Start Posting More

Anyways God bless that one guy who has the giant ass house at the end of the street

If the one guy on the block who snowplows the whole block doesn't get into heaven I will personally fight God for his ticket

As someone from the Midwest I can confirm we are just the shire

The Tolkien fandom tends to characterise the society of the Shire as super judgmental, but Bilbo mysteriously disappeared for over a year, then came back and lived to be 111 without ever looking a day over 50, and not once in that span was he openly accused of being a vampire – so if the Shire-folk are prone to judgment, they also know to mind their own business!

Autumn is here, folks, and your local Iowan is here to remind you of the basic principles of Corn Maze Safety:

Make sure you go with a partner! You don’t want to be alone and lost in the maze!

Take a map! You may want to try navigate on your own, but it’s best to keep a guide handy in case you lose your way!

Bring a water bottle with a sealed top! It will keep you hydrated, and the closed top will stop any water from spilling on the thirsty corn. Remember, thirsty corn is docile corn!

Wear long sleeves! Although dead leaves aren’t quite as sharp as green leaves, they can still cut you. And they will, if you give them the chance.

If a stalk does draw blood, spill some water from your bottle on the ground near its roots and move on. Hopefully, the water will quench its thirst long enough for you to escape.

Be careful what you eat before you go into the maze! Avoid cornstarch, corn syrup, and all corn products. The corn can smell itself in your blood.

Remember, scarecrows are there for YOUR protection. As long as the corn thinks you’re with others, it won’t make any sudden moves.

If you see a scarecrow wave, wave back. It gets lonely, and you will too if you’re not kind.

If you are alone in a cornfield, pretend you’re talking to a friend! The plants have ears, but no eyes, and they are easily fooled. Get out before they catch wise!

The breeze is lying to you; don’t listen to it. It cannot lead you home.

If you’re lost, look to the sun for directions, not the shadows. The shadows like to watch you struggle.

Never, ever walk off the provided paths! The paths are safe routes carefully created by the farmer. If you leave the path, you may never see it again.

Keep an eye on the time while wandering! You don’t want to be in a cornfield after dark. You really don’t.

In a pinch, many people try praying to the Harvest God for assistance. This is often a poor choice; you’re just as likely to be harvested as you are to be helped.

If you see a single green corn stalk among the brown, turn around. You don’t want to know how it keeps itself warm in the cold.

Remember, Corn Mazes can be fun autumnal activities if you’re careful! Just follow these simple rules and you’ll almost certainly make it home.

shout out to disabled people who aren't trying to be nice and palatable for their able-bodied peers.

shout out to disabled people who are angry about their disability, about the system they live in.

shout out to disabled people who don't take shit from others.

shout out to disabled people who don't spend every waking hour trying to cure themselves.

shout out to multiply disabled people, to queer disabled people, to people who are disabled both mentally and physically.

shout out to disabled people.

[ able-bodied people can rb but don't clown on this post. do not tag this post as "q slur" or other alternatives. ]

11. they finally found me

1. snake magnet

Haha not me purposefully "losing track of time" at a coffee shop, taking the longest bus route home, and avoiding my responsibilities at all costs lol im so quirky

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

reblog to pet the sad cat 　　　　　　 ＿＿ 　　　　　／＞　　フ 　　　　　|  　_　 _ l 　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ 　　 　 /　　　 　 | 　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ 　 　 │　　|　|　| 　／￣|　　 |　|　| 　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__) 　＼二つ

Bing is homophopic

He also always kinda seems inebriated in one way or another, like you can't tell if he's high or drunk or if it's just him

If the one guy on the block who snowplows the whole block doesn't get into heaven I will personally fight God for his ticket