Kyle Montgomery Crystal Mary

Suicide IV (1982) by Paul Rebeyrolle

Things my addiction took from me

• The ability to say “no”

• Willingness to let another person help me

• Basic every day things; eating, bathing, brushing my teeth, sleeping

• Countless positive opportunities

• People- only the good ones though

• Self awareness

• Self control

• Self respect

• Financial stability

• My positivity

• Willingness to live and to try

• Any sense of safety or security

• Trust- I lost people’s trust and I stopped trusting people

• Healthy relationships

• The ability to express my emotions

• Daily routine

• Quality of life

• Other people’s respect for me

• A clear mind

• A healthy body

• My sanity

• My willingness to do anything unless I am under the influence

• The ability to recognize myself

• The ability to recognize who’s healthy for me and who isn’t.

Blue Xanny bar💎

Addicted to addiction...

The worst part, about being a drug addict, is that you know you’re a drug addict. You know, all your excuses are bullshit. You know, when it’s your addiction talking, not you. You know, you’re hurting those around you. You know, you need help. You know, you’re lost. You know, you’re lying to yourself.

Nobody, sets out to be an addict. You just, wake up on day, as an addict.

I usually say that, the first time I used Meth, I was addicted. That’s not true. The first time I used, I knew, I’d do it again. I wasn’t addicted though. I became an addict, when I used to forget, my problems, my pain, my anguish. I became an addict, when I gave my addiction priority, over the important things, in my life. I became an addict, when I lost almost everything I had, stopped using for a while, then picked up again. Thinking, “It’s been long enough. I’ll be able to stop this time. I don’t have a problem. I was just in a bad place, at that time in my life.” I became an addict, when the strength, of my addiction, out weighed the shame I felt, when I looked at pictures of my kids. At problems, my addiction has caused. At people, who I have hurt. At what I could have done, with my time. My money. My family. . . I became an addict, when I looked in the mirror, asked myself to stop. Then put the piece to my lips, took another hit, and left myself behind…

My favorite piece I broke it in a few days :(

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