M O O D B O A R D ; Asexual Pride

Scrapbook #7: Tirantes (Click for full-size image.)

Other entries in this series: 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 6 5 4 3 2 1

Reblog this and I'll send your URL to BC

I’m filling a notebook with the URLs of the Cumber Collective to send with the Relax the Real Project. Reblog and I will include yours!

Nocturnal/Diurnal - Unfired

(Nocturnal/Diurnal - Fired)

one day I’ll have enough money to buy les nereides jewellery 🥲 one day…

RAW GIVEAWAY

Hi guys! I have 9 contributor’s copies of @rawfanzine to give away, along with most of the art and stickers and bookplates and one of the pins. (One of the books will be sans bookplate and art. That book gets the pin.)

If you want one, please: 

be a legal adult; I don’t want to get in trouble with anyone’s parents

reblog and tag urself as US or International - I’m only going to send two or three of these international because I can’t afford to do more than that

make sure your asks are open / messaging is on so I have some way to contact you 

If you can buy one from someone who’s selling them, please do. I’d prefer these go to people who couldn’t afford them otherwise. Thanks! <3 

I’ll contact the winners by September 13th. 

i told my boyfriend i was demisexual so i had to expalin to him that demisexual is the kind of people who feel sexual attraction to someone with an emotional bond, and he said "yeah just like everyone else"... how i am supposed to react to that? i told him that no, because lot of people is alright with one night stands, but he was insisting everyone was like this..

This is a hard one that I’ve struggled with too, because as demisexuals we know that our experience is fundamentally different, but often times harder to pin down than saying we’re strictly asexual. Here’s how I explained it to my mom. I’m not sure how useful this is, especially since it’s about how *I* experience demisexuality, which might be different than how you or others do, but maybe it’ll help.So imagine that sex is coffee right? People love coffee. Coffee is everywhere. There’s a Starbucks on every corner, coffee drinkers in every TV show and movie, and billboards and ad spots about coffee all the time. People who like coffee might be peculiar about how they want their coffee— maybe they like it with sugar or soy milk, or only in the mornings before 10, or only when they’re studying, only from Starbucks or only from their local coffee house, etc. Or they might not care— they might like coffee no matter when or how it’s made. They’ll buy it from anyone and take it in whatever form because they really like coffee. But they all agree that in general they like coffee.

And then there are people who don’t like coffee at all. They can’t stand it. They don’t want coffee at any point of the day, no matter how it’s made or who makes it. Nothing you can do makes coffee in any way appealing to them. Coffee lovers are generally baffled by this, and some might insist that people who don’t like coffee just haven’t had the right cup, but the fact is that people who don’t like coffee simply just don’t like coffee.

And then there are people like us: we don’t generally like coffee, and we wouldn’t choose to have coffee on our own. Like the people who don’t like coffee, we can go years without a cup of coffee and it doesn’t bother us at all.

But we have a friend who loves coffee, and we love that friend. And the longer we’re friends, the more we want to have coffee with them. Not because coffee has suddenly become our favorite drink, but because we love our coffee-drinking friend and THEY make us want coffee. So we go out for coffee with them, and we enjoy having coffee because we’re having coffee with them. If we weren’t with them, we wouldn’t want coffee.

"But everybody feels that way" isn’t true. Coffee lovers still want coffee even when their conditions for having coffee aren’t met. Just because they’re not drinking coffee right now, or because they might have preferences for when & how they drink coffee, doesn’t mean they stop liking coffee. But for people like us, if we’re not having coffee with that specific person, then we don’t care about coffee. It holds absolutely no appeal or value. We have to have that connection before we ever want coffee. Coffee lovers might want that connection when they have coffee too, but they also generally want coffee as a thing in itself.

That’s the difference between being demisexual and being an allosexual who likes to have emotional connections with their partners. An allosexual person still likes and wants sex as a thing itself, even if the conditions for having sex aren’t being met. They think about and desire sex outside of the conditions they set for engaging in the actual act. A demisexual person doesn’t care about sex as a thing in itself, because sex is inherently tied to emotional bonding for them. We don’t think about sex as an act involving us unless it’s under those conditions.

That may or may not be the worst analogy ever, I honestly don’t know, sorry. It seemed to work for my mom, but that might be because she really likes coffee *shrugs*

If anyone following this blog has any resources on how to respond to that type of response they’d like to direct the anon to, please let me know so I can post them!

Hope that helps!

Happy Valentines Day from Buff!

Out of curiosity, could you take a moment to reblog this if you believe that demisexuality exists? I’m demisexual, and I feel like demisexuality goes really under the radar, even within the asexual community umbrella. A lot of people don’t believe that it exists, and even within the ace community, demisexuality is still questioned as being legitimate, although we share the same flag. So reblog this is if you believe it exists. 

We encourage you to share the link to this rather than reblogging the entire post (since this is frequently updated and we want to minimize the spread of outdated info!): bit.ly/FergusonAEM

As the folks from Sexplanations say: stay curious! Know that this is just one drop in the bucket. We encourage you to do your own research and follow the links so you can make your own informed opinion.

The Ferguson Masterpost: How To Argue Eloquently & Back Yourself Up With Facts

GIVEAWAY! Hey all! I finally got 300 followers so I’m doing my first giveaway!

The prize is a hand-knitted scarf made by yours truly. Since most of you who are following me are fandom blogs, I’d make one based off of your fandoms, or your favorite colors, or really whatever you want! (now’s your chance to get that harry potter scarf you always wanted! for instance)

Rules

must be following me

likes and reblogs count, as much as you like

no giveaway blogs though

winner will be chosen randomly on September 1, 2014