Out Of Curiosity, Could You Take A Moment To Reblog This If You Believe That Demisexuality Exists? I’m

"We need to recognize that for some people sex is great and for some sex is horrific and for some it’s on par with folding laundry."

(~Sex Isn’t Always Good by queenieofaces)

Random Round-Number Give-away! At the moment I unfortunately don’t have the means to actually send out gift-prizes, but a few people seemed interested in the idea of winning a custom fic. So that’s what you’re playing for – custom Sherlock fanfic! Yay?

How it Works:

You can enter the contest twice in total – one “like” and one reblog.

You must be following me.

After a week, I will use a random number generator and choose someone at random.

Winner and runner-ups will be contact, and they have three days to send me a prompt of their choice before I move on to the next person.I will write fic based on the prompt and post it – either on Tumblr or AO3.

Prizes: 1st – One fic of your prompting, 1000 or more words.  2nd – One fic of your prompting, 500 or more words. 3rd – One fic of your prompting, 250 or more words.

Please note: I have a habit of not actually being able to write short-fic, so you might end up with more.

What I Will/Won’t Write:

I’m currently only writing for the Sherlock fandom. 

My primary pairing is Sherlock/John.

I will not write Mycroft/Lestrade, or Moriarty/Moran.

I’m uncomfortable writing femslash/genderswap/explicit het. 

I’m mainly comfortable writing vanilla. (No BDSM or hard D/s, bestiality, omegaverse or hard kinks.)

I’m uncomfortable writing most kidfic (some exceptions – ask) or giving John and/or Sherlock (specifically) children.

I have a hard time with historical AUs or AUs that take the characters out of their environment. (I can give it a try – I just can’t guarantee quality.) Other AUs/magical realism-type stuff is fine.

If you have something specific in mind but are uncertain, please send me a signed-in ask.

START: Right now! WINNERS ANNOUNCED: Monday, July 22nd, 2013.

What I Mean When I Say I’m Sex-Positive

I think freedom of sexuality is something that we all need and very few of us have

I think sexual pleasure is a legitimate thing to want and ethically pursue

I do not judge people for the (consensual) sex that they have or want

I will not tolerate slut-shaming

I will not tolerate hatred of people based on gender or orientation (including asexual)

I will not tolerate hatred of sex workers

I believe comprehensive, honest, non-judgmental sex education is necessary for public health and happiness

I think understanding of sexual consent—what it is, why it matters—is sorely lacking in society and crucially important

I reject preconceptions of what kind of sexuality a person should have, whether these preconceptions are based on gender, age, culture, disability, survivor status, or basically anything else

I value people’s individual freedom of choice in determining their sex lives (including the choices not to have sex)

What I Don’t Mean

Everyone should have sex

Everyone should have kinky, non-monogamous, exhibitionistic, pansexual sex

Accepting someone’s sexuality means you have to participate in it, watch them engage in it, or hear about it in detail

Nothing related to sex is ever hurtful for anyone

Feminism should be all about sex

Sex fixes everything

because the valentines are coming and people are asking questions

i told my boyfriend i was demisexual so i had to expalin to him that demisexual is the kind of people who feel sexual attraction to someone with an emotional bond, and he said "yeah just like everyone else"... how i am supposed to react to that? i told him that no, because lot of people is alright with one night stands, but he was insisting everyone was like this..

This is a hard one that I’ve struggled with too, because as demisexuals we know that our experience is fundamentally different, but often times harder to pin down than saying we’re strictly asexual. Here’s how I explained it to my mom. I’m not sure how useful this is, especially since it’s about how *I* experience demisexuality, which might be different than how you or others do, but maybe it’ll help.So imagine that sex is coffee right? People love coffee. Coffee is everywhere. There’s a Starbucks on every corner, coffee drinkers in every TV show and movie, and billboards and ad spots about coffee all the time. People who like coffee might be peculiar about how they want their coffee— maybe they like it with sugar or soy milk, or only in the mornings before 10, or only when they’re studying, only from Starbucks or only from their local coffee house, etc. Or they might not care— they might like coffee no matter when or how it’s made. They’ll buy it from anyone and take it in whatever form because they really like coffee. But they all agree that in general they like coffee.

And then there are people who don’t like coffee at all. They can’t stand it. They don’t want coffee at any point of the day, no matter how it’s made or who makes it. Nothing you can do makes coffee in any way appealing to them. Coffee lovers are generally baffled by this, and some might insist that people who don’t like coffee just haven’t had the right cup, but the fact is that people who don’t like coffee simply just don’t like coffee.

And then there are people like us: we don’t generally like coffee, and we wouldn’t choose to have coffee on our own. Like the people who don’t like coffee, we can go years without a cup of coffee and it doesn’t bother us at all.

But we have a friend who loves coffee, and we love that friend. And the longer we’re friends, the more we want to have coffee with them. Not because coffee has suddenly become our favorite drink, but because we love our coffee-drinking friend and THEY make us want coffee. So we go out for coffee with them, and we enjoy having coffee because we’re having coffee with them. If we weren’t with them, we wouldn’t want coffee.

"But everybody feels that way" isn’t true. Coffee lovers still want coffee even when their conditions for having coffee aren’t met. Just because they’re not drinking coffee right now, or because they might have preferences for when & how they drink coffee, doesn’t mean they stop liking coffee. But for people like us, if we’re not having coffee with that specific person, then we don’t care about coffee. It holds absolutely no appeal or value. We have to have that connection before we ever want coffee. Coffee lovers might want that connection when they have coffee too, but they also generally want coffee as a thing in itself.

That’s the difference between being demisexual and being an allosexual who likes to have emotional connections with their partners. An allosexual person still likes and wants sex as a thing itself, even if the conditions for having sex aren’t being met. They think about and desire sex outside of the conditions they set for engaging in the actual act. A demisexual person doesn’t care about sex as a thing in itself, because sex is inherently tied to emotional bonding for them. We don’t think about sex as an act involving us unless it’s under those conditions.

That may or may not be the worst analogy ever, I honestly don’t know, sorry. It seemed to work for my mom, but that might be because she really likes coffee *shrugs*

If anyone following this blog has any resources on how to respond to that type of response they’d like to direct the anon to, please let me know so I can post them!

Hope that helps!

“If a man’s wearing his pants on his head or if he says his words backwards from time to time, you know it’s all laid out there for you. But if he’s friendly to strangers and keeps his home spick-and-span, more often than not he’s done something even his own ma couldn’t forgive.”

-No-Bark Noonan, for the lovely @carletoncolton!

We encourage you to share the link to this rather than reblogging the entire post (since this is frequently updated and we want to minimize the spread of outdated info!): bit.ly/FergusonAEM

As the folks from Sexplanations say: stay curious! Know that this is just one drop in the bucket. We encourage you to do your own research and follow the links so you can make your own informed opinion.

The Ferguson Masterpost: How To Argue Eloquently & Back Yourself Up With Facts

Tagged: @the-ever-chaos-collective (Thank you~ 😘👉 ❤️)

slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy AU or modern AU // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it// reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi chapter // kid fic or road trip fic// arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi AU or magic AU // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Tagging: @the-horae @host-of-chthon @pedlimwen @amervalk @springacres @nivjolteon (But only if you’d like~ 📚 📖✨)

You said for mutuals to tag you and it looked fun so @baronvonriktenstein

slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy AU or modern AU // mutual pining(I write too much mutual pining) or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it(like every mass effect fic ever)// reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi chapter // kid fic or road trip fic// arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbors(I actually wrote an au like that) roommates // sci-fi AU or magic AU // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

I’ll tag @crqstalite @confundere @the-ever-chaos-collective

I’m not ace myself, so I’m coming at the whole acephobia thing from an outsider’s perspective, and as such, it’s not my place to speak to the experience of those on the receiving end of it.

However, as a bisexual dude, I can observe that many of the arguments that are employed to establish that ace folks have no place in the queer community are strikingly similar - indeed, at times practically word-for-word identical - to the arguments that were for many years (and in some circles still are) employed to establish that bisexual folks have no place in the queer community.

It’s enough to make a guy suspicious on general principle, you know?

Shuffle Music Meme

You can tell a lot about someone by the music they listen to. Hit shuffle on your iPod/iPhone/iTunes/media player and write down the first 10 songs. Then pass this onto 10 people.

Tagged by: tu-surak (LLAP （ ･＿･）ｖ)

Tagging:

1. Lana Del Rey - The Other Woman

2. Yao Lee - Rose, Rose, I Love You

3. Gorillaz ft. Daley - Doncamatic (Lonsdale Boys Club Remix)

4. Chris Isaak - You Owe Me Some Kind of Love

5. FKA Twigs - How's That

6. Adore Delano - I Adore U

7. Massive Attack ft. Mos Def - I Against I

8. Strawberry Switchblade - Deep Water

9. James Darren - Sophisticated Lady

10. The Ink Spots - Don't Get Around Much Anymore