Shit I lost it at Tim's 🤣
people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.
you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.
like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.
wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?
batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing
the league:
batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*
the league:
batman:
batman: *coughs awkwardly*
superman: *sighs*
batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-
superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.
the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?
wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.
superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.
batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me
green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?
'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.
they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.
wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?
batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.
wonder woman:
green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?
superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.
the league:
batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...
the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?
'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.
the league, concerned:
superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-
batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!
superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.
bonus
the league, squinting at batman:
the league: ...
superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*
the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*
duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?
This was beautiful, absolutely and truly beautiful, I can't wait to see where it goes
Undoing Fate
neglected to regressor batsis! reader x platonic batfam
what if after 20 years of neglect from your family full of vigilantes, you face an unfortunate death, only to find yourself regressed back to when you were 16?
⤷ lots of emotional neglect, reader was batgirl, reader was a tryhard and an overachiever, reader had no social life in her first life, mentions of drugs, mentions of human trafficking, mentions of death, regression themes, toxic and unhealthy relationships, dysfunctional family, toxic mentalities, reader and everyone else needs therapy…, canon divergence, major character death(s) | tba | based on this
⤷ info! (background) 1 | 2 | read this first to understand the plot and each batfam better :)
⤷ art!!! 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
⤷ if you’re bored m.list
00 | And she cried over nothing
01 | Sixteen again
02 | A quitter? | ?
03 | Everything is awesome…
04 | Until it’s not | .
05 | Untouched memories
06 | Another suffocating day | .
07 | —
08 |
taglist is closed‼️
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Nom nom nom
Just cracked open "Robins being Robins" and this is the first thing I see
(I legit said "what the fuck!" out loud) then I got curious to see the other variant covers and...
Stephs and Damian's are the only normal ones
I just wanted to read something before going to bed, and instead, your girl got attacked by thirst traps back to back.
I want to be James' level of dramatic
James: my darling husband has gone off to war
Regulus: I have to go to work
James: I fear he may not return
Regulus: I'll only be gone like five hours-
James: I feel like I can still hear his voice
Regulus: I'm divorcing you
James: nooooooo
percy hazel and leo looking at each other after the rest of the crew agreed to spend over $500 on fuel for the argo ll
Barty teaching me how to live my life, is something I didn't know I needed
Barty: give a man a fire and he'll be warm for one day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Regulus: Barty-
Evan: Smart
Woah 😳 damn I've never felt this way before
A list of all my works and WIPs.
Most of the content I write is on the darker side, 18+ MDNI. If you have any questions (or just wanna chat) feel free to ask :)
Updated as of: 12/23/24
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FICS
Jailbird (Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader)
Ghost becomes pen pals with an inmate before deciding that he wants to adopt his little jailbird.
Bird Dog - Jailbird Part Two (Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader)
Simon’s determined to retrieve his jailbird.
Three's a Crowd - Jailbird Part Three WIP (Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader x John Price)
John decides that Simon needs help training his new pet.
Toy Soldier WIP (WIP title) (Soap x Reader)
Johnny becomes determined to take his favorite stripper home.
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Thoughts and Ideas
John Price fumbled his ex-wife
Original thought for Jailbird fic
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A little about me:
I'm in college and have a part-time job but have a tendency to want to do anything but what I actually should be doing (hence starting posting here when I was knee deep in finals lmao). I've taken creative writing all throughout high school and a few classes in college. I only just recently started writing fanfic as warm-ups and when I have writer's block for my original content so bare with me.
My current obsessions are COD, Arcane, The Last of Us, and Red Dead Redemption 2.
At the moment I only plan on writing for the 141 but that might change if inspiration strikes (or if I run out of Sevika fanfics and have to start making them myself)
Enjoy <3
I think more people need to play around with Damian's speech. Don't get me wrong, I love the antiquated Victorian child style of speech, but also he's a teenager that swears plenty in the comics. We really need more scenes like:
Damian: Father, I regret to inform you that I have been assigned in-school suspension for the next three days.
Bruce: What, why?!
Damian: My classmate Kevin was disparaging a female classmate for turning him down, so I called him 'a rizz-less, basic-ass neckbeard bitch' and said I was going to fuck his mom and give her a son she'd actually love.
Bruce: *is completely speechless*
Damian: That is all I needed to tell you. If you will excuse me, I have homework to complete before dinner and patrol.
I just think this pic has their vibes you know
James: f is for friends who do stuff together!
Sirius: u is for you and me!
Both: n is for anywhere and anytime at all here in the deep blue sea!!
Regulus: please drown
James: aww come on Reggie try it
Regulus: no
James: :(((
Regulus: f is for the fire I'm going to set in your dorm room later
Regulus: u is for the uranium bomb I going to plant in your trunk
Regulus: and n is for nobody finding your bodies
James:
Sirius:
James: im so in love
as much as i love angst i do also adore familial league of assassins shit, and since i keep seeing them on my tiktok fyp i cant stop thinking about those videos of idiot teenagers in military training being. teenagers. and thinking of jason and damian. just those two having weird little gimmicks and traditions that confuse the absolute fuck out of the rest of the family from their time at the league.
damian will refer to grapes as ‘assassination implements’ because of that time jason tried to throw one at him, missed, hit ra’s in the back of the head, and to avoid getting out of trouble gaslit him into believing it must have been some kind of dart that hit him from a coup attempt. ra’s went into lockdown and had the entire base searched and jason’s been lying about it for a year, nodding along whenever ra’s brings up the ‘irritating failure that escaped capture’.
nanda parbat had a specific bar that a lot of the assassins would go to when off-duty for a break, but damian wasn’t allowed because talia said he was too young so jason and a couple other loa workers dressed him up in fake facial hair and convinced the bartender he was just a really short old guy to get him in, and since then whenever they talk about something damian’s done that he wasn’t supposed to do they say it was ‘old man brutus’ that did it. bruce has no idea who the fuck brutus is or why two of his sons find his existence so amusing.
whenever the assassins were fucking around on loa grounds they would have a specific low-down gravely tone of voice that when any of them saw talia or ra’s approach, they would use to warn the rest of the group by saying ‘al ghul’ in that tone to indicate everyone had to straighten up and act like they were training. damian can copy that tone perfectly, and will use that voice when saying non-sensical words like ‘ooby-dooby’ and ‘birch tree’ because the tone makes jason instinctively straight up and whirl around like a soldier hearing the word ‘sergeant’. it works every fucking time.
one of damian’s tutors and jason’s mission colleague hated coconut milk with a fucking passion and would rant about it every time it was brought up in conversation. a lot of the guys would take bets on how long she could go talking about it and then purposely brought it up to set her off as a game. every time anyone around the loa base was seen with coconut milk somebody would respond ‘what would eden say if she saw you with that?’. tim dick and bruce do not know who eden is or why they hate coconut milk and at this point they’re too scared to ask.
all im saying is the loa becomes much funnier if we consider it just to be a very strict assassin boarding school that jason attended and damian grew up in.
24 ~ Capricorn ~ very delusional if you couldn't tell by the way I'm on this app...
69 posts