He Has Also Won Miss Universe

DC just hasn't met me yet

the audacity of the official dc account to even post this 😭

Why are all of these so good?! Why can't I write this good?!

✒︎ Scream 1996 Masterlist

Originals:

🖤 "Lick me like a lollipop" (Billy Loomis x GN reader)

🖤 "Lick me like a lollipop" (Part 2)

🖤 "I told you they were witches, man" Scream (1996) x The Craft (1996)

🖤 "I dare you to kiss my Tatum" (Stu Macher x Tatum Riley x Fem Reader)

🖤 "Why me?" (Billy Loomis x Stu Macher x AFAB reader)

🖤 Modern Billy Loomis and Stu Macher concept

🖤 Phone sex with Billy Loomis || Modern Scream concept (AFAB reader x Billy Loomis)

🖤 Dilf! Billy x AFAB reader

Requests

🖤 Poly!Ghostface - Knife play 🗡️ with Billy Loomis and Stu Macher

🖤 Goth reader x Billy Loomis and Stu Macher

🖤 Fem reader who's protective over Billy Loomis and Stu Macher

🖤 Virgin reader x experienced Billy Loomis

🖤 After sex mushy attention for Billy Loomis

🖤 Rough sex with Stu Macher

🖤 Vampire!Billy Loomis and Stu Macher

🖤 Fem reader discovers that Billy Loomis and Stu Macher are the killers

🖤 Fem reader gets Billy Loomis tattooed on her hip

🖤 AFAB reader babied by Billy Loomis and Stu Macher

🖤 Period sex with Billy Loomis

🖤 NSFW Bloger: AFAB reader x Billy Loomis

🖤 You find out your best friend, Stu Macher is the killer, (ft. Billy Loomis)

✒︎ Mini series

🩸Red 🩸 (Complete)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Scream (1996) meets "X" (Ongoing)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

✒︎ Pørn Masterlist

✒︎ Prompt list

Regulus: Guys, I need to tell you something

Regulus: I’m in love with my brothers best friend

Barty: Your own brother? The one that was disowned??

Regulus: Not my brother, his best friend

Dorcas: Remus?

Regulus: That’s my brothers boyfriend. I’m in love with his best friend

Pandora: Lily!?

Regulus: No, that’s Remus’ best friend

Regulus: It’s James, I’m in love with James

Evan: Your brothers best friend!?

Regulus: [heavy sigh]

This made me feel every emotion on earth

Tag You’re It- Massimo x Reader (Epilogue)

Pairing(s): Massimo Torricelli x Reader

 Warning(s): None, tears from your author

   A/N: Thank you sooooo so much to everyone who has read this series. I love you all immensely. Song is ‘’Hard for Me’’ by Michele Morrone. I hope every one has a very happy safe new year, thank you for sticking with me throughout this journey. 

 PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR PART FIVE PART SIX PART SEVEN PART EIGHT PART NINE PART TEN

You keep telling me that I am free to go But I’m addicted to you It’s a lie It’s a lie

    ‘’No, absolutely not.’’

‘’And why not?’’

Keep reading

UNCASUAL REMINDER!!!!!!!

if you’re MAGA, if you’re racist, if you’re homophobic, if you’re transphobic, if you’re not a feminist, if you’re not against deportation, if you’re against abortions, if you like the orange man, if you’re pro israel

BLOCK ME RIGHT NOW!!!!

didn’t think i’d have to say it again but ig i do!!

Aww look at them, so precious

i kinda wanna make em into keychains

𝐀 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠:

๏ 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧

๏ 𝐒𝐙𝐀 𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

๏ 𝐊𝐚𝐢 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐊𝐚𝐢 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭

๏ 𝐉𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐧

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝙲𝚁𝙰𝚉𝚈!!! 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚂𝙾 𝙷𝙸𝙻𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚂 & 𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴!!!🤣🤣🤣

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚝!!!🤣🤣🤣

𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘈𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦!

I don't see the problem here, that's all he needed to know

Things Percy Jackson remembers in Son of Neptune:

Annabeth exists

I met Annabeth at a camp

Annabeth and I kiss sometimes

Fuck Ares

Shit I lost it at Tim's 🤣

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

If only I had someone to do this for me.. guess I'll stick to my girl dinners

✨Girl Dinner ✨

Simon Riley X Reader

A/N: Not proofread. Will probs go back and edit it. Please don’t throw things at me. xoxo

CW: None

—————————————————————————

If you knew Simon was coming over around dinner time, you would always have a healthy, balanced meal waiting for him. He works so hard and you don’t mind doing this for him. You always made sure to have a protein, starch, vegetable, and a dessert. Need to keep him the big boy he already is. He deserves it, okay!

But what happens when Simon decides to comes by unannounced and he arrives to you having ✨girl dinner✨

Honestly getting hit by a bus might have been better than the day you had at work. Everyone else’s problems somehow became your problem. You swear you work with some of the most incompetent people in your area. You just have to!

No one forecasted rain today either, but here you are soaked almost down to your underwear from the storm. You didn’t think to bring an umbrella and now you are paying the price. Now you are 4 blocks from home, drenched, agitated, hungry, and fucking tired.

Elevator for the win tonight! The thought of going up 4 flights of stairs makes you misty eyed. The hallways to your apartment feels miles longer when you are this tired, but you trudge to the door. Once inside, it’s time for your after work routine. Door locked. Shoes wherever they land. Comfiest pajamas. Latest season of Hell’s Kitchen. Beer in hand. Dinner time!!!!

After staring in your fridge for 10 minutes dissociating to cope with your mundane existence, you grab whatever looks edible and the least amount of work. You finally land on an air fried chicken patty, 3 pieces of swiss cheese, 2 yogurt tubes, a piece of salami, a snack bag of fritos, baby carrots, and half a cucumber. Ah perfect!

You sit down on the couch with a little shoulder shimmy, excited to dig in. As you pick up your chicken patty (uncut and with your fingers because you are not dirtying MORE dishes), three loud knocks reign on your front door. Your left eye twitches for just a moment before you heave a heavy sigh. “I paid my fucking rent.” You say to yourself as you get off the couch. Stomping doesn’t even begin to describe the way your feet the hit floor as you make your way to the door. Sorry Miss. Lutton downstairs!! I’ll have to send her some cookies.

You don’t even look before you swing the door open, ready to cuss out whoever dared to disturb your already horrible day. “What could you possib-“ The word dies in your mouth as your face comes square to your boyfriend’s chest. A chuckle leaves him as he stares down at his little firecracker. You raise your head to look back at him before giving him the most cheesiest, sarcastic smile. “Well hello there handsome. You lost? Why don’t you come on inside and I can help you find your way” You say up to him while putting your hands on your hips and smirking at him. He doesn’t say anything before he shakes his head and sighing. However, the blush on his cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

You move out of the way as he makes his way in your apartment. He places his boots next to yours and walks his way to your couch. A heavy sigh leaves his mouth as he takes his balaclava off. You smile as you walk toward him and sit down on the couch, giving him your full attention. “So what’s shaking” You bop his nose “Bacon.” He stares at you incredulously. You send a full teeth smile back at him.

“How was work?” He moves on from your weird antics. “Oh the WORST. Samantha would NOT shut up today. I swear to god Brian kept emailing me just to piss me off. We are in the middle of this project and he does 1 thing and then asks what else needs done and-“ You stop talking when you notice his focus is on your plate on the table. “Oh!!! Do you want dinner? I can make something.” You go to get up before two hands pulls you back down onto the couch. A squeak did NOT leave your mouth you do not care what Simon says. (HA)

“What’s all that then?” He points to your untouched beautiful dinner. “My dinner?” You say back in a sarcastic tone “A chicken patty, kids yogurt, 4 baby carrots, half a cucumber, a singular piece of salami, fritos, and 3 slices of cheese. That’s your dinner?” He looks at me with a mix of worry, confusion, and plain humor. “Yes. It’s girl dinner.” You explain back to him. “Girl dinner.” He states back, no real question in his voice. “Yeah. it’s all of the food pyramid. Dairy, meats, veggies, fruit, grains.” You point to each one as you say them. “What’s so wrong?” You look back in confusion. “I’m proud of myself.” You huff before grabbing your plate.

“Lovie. Do you make special meals when I come over?” The slice of swiss cheese in your hand freezes as he says this. “I mean, Yeah. You need a home cooked meal. You deserve a home cooked meal. This is what I normally have.” He stares blankly at you. He stands, says nothing, grabs your plate and takes it to the kitchen. “HEY. I was eating that.” You stand and begin to make your way to the kitchen. “Stop.” You hear and shit yessir. I am stopped.

“Go sit back down.” He says as he grabs pots and pans from the cupboard. “Simon. What are you doing? I am perfectly fine eating my plate I made.” You sit down on the couch and cross your arms. Borderline pouting one would say. “Yeah well i’m not. Sit there and i’ll bring you this when I am done.” You huff and watch television. You hear him mutter to himself periodically. Something along the lines of “the fuck ‘s a girl dinner” and “not eating properly”. 40 minutes, a beer, and an episode of hell’s kitchen later, Simon appears from the kitchen with homemade chicken parmesan, a side salad, and garlic bread. He places the plate on the coffee table and returns to the kitchen to get us drinks. You can’t lie, your stomach starts to grumble at the smell. He returns with 4 beers and places a kiss on the crown of your head before sitting down next to you and mauling his plate.

Okay so maybe girl dinner has NOTHING on something Simon made from. You can come to terms with that. “No more special meals just for me. We will cook together on nights i’m here and i’ll make sure you have enough groceries the other nights i’m not.” You look at him quizzically. “You don’t have to do that.” He stops eating, smiles at you, and kisses your forehead. “Want to.” You smile back at him and settle in to eat your meal, courtesy of the love of your life.