Clarice Lispector, A Breath Of Life

notes for my impostor syndrome:

• no, it's not painful to walk for abled-bodied people

• no, healthy people don't usually use every chance they get to lean against walls or sit down

• no, ableds don't dream about shower stool

• no, ableds don't celebrate days when they're not in pain. because usually they're not in pain

• no, ableds don't want to stop walking mid-way, lay down on the ground, curl up and cry and whine from pain

• no, ableds aren't exhausted by their own bodies 24/7

“Why should rich people pay more” because fuck ‘em

“So you are okay for paying more when you have money” I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘em’ when relevant

Something that a lot of people don’t realize is that once you get even the most shy, introverted history major talking about their favorite area of history they will talk for hours if you let them. 

Most of the history majors that I know have one or two periods/families/people that they are intensely interested in. If you attempt to tell them that it’s boring or doesn’t matter they will fight you and proceed to inform you of how it provides context for such and such historical event, power dynamic, movement, or invention. Even just imagining someone telling me that history is irrelevant makes me want to argue about why it’s useful, relevant, and important and what skills you can learn from studying it.

I think that this is also  true for most people that are interested in a history related field. 

People who are not afraid to text you 40 times in a row and don’t take it personally if you haven’t replied are literally the most valuable members of our society and should be recognized as such

to the poor (or otherwise financially unwell) person reading this, please don't beat yourself up about how you spend your money. especially if you're disabled or come from a not-well-off family.

it's not wrong to buy fast food if it means you eat. it's not wrong to make indulgent purchases if it means you're happy. it's not wrong to get things to make your life easier. it's not wrong to buy something to comfort you. it's not wrong to get new clothes, especially if what you have is old or doesnt fit well. etc. etc.

you're doing the best you can under an oppressive system (ie. capitalism). and odds are reducing your spending won't make you financially stable (which sucks but still). life is hard enough. don't make it harder by beating yourself up over something that ultimately is not your fault. it is not your fault.

I feel like half my body needs to be soaked in ice while the other half covered in heating pads…just the issues of chronic pain ⋋_⋌

Sad bitches watch bluey under a soft blanket on their day off

When I have a migraine...

I will irrationally hate anyone and anything that makes noise. 

I don’t make the rules, I just gotta hate.

I actually used my AAC in public today for the first time. I know this might not sound like much to some people, but when I have speaking issues and end up nonverbal or having a verbal communication issue (I don’t know what to call it without people getting mad at me) I normally just stop talking all together and isolate myself. This AAC really helped me so much today and I don’t feel so drained physically and mentally from work. I’m really happy so now I don’t have to go home and sleep the rest of my afternoon away, I can play a game or read!!

•

•

Also, I don’t know what you’d call it that I have. I was nonverbal for well over 7 years and have on and off verbal issues where I can talk some days but most days I’m completely silent. Recently I’m having an episode that’s seeming to last about 4 days.

it's okay if you get confused easily. it's okay if you forget things easily. it's okay if you lose track during conversation easily. it's okay if you have to ask for clarification often. it's okay if you struggle to parse information or sensory unit. you're not "playing dumb" or "doing it on purpose". it's okay to be disabled, some people just refuse to be accommodating.