You're Very Pretty. Your Uniqueness Is An Inherently Beautiful Trait. Please Don't Compare Yourself To

the thing with me is that ive seen over 30 film adaptations of dracula and therefore Should be a great person to ask for recommendations when it comes to film adaptations of dracula, but the thing with me is that my standards are well below sea level and my taste in movies is insane so if you ask me which dracula you should watch the first one ill suggest is a movie made on a literal $1500 budget thats so faithful to the book its borderline unwatchable and the second one ill suggest is the insane pakistani version which has absolutely dick to do with the book and features multiple musical numbers, a car chase, and an inexplicable scientist origin story. if neither of these suffice then i have to bust out my graph upon which ive documented everything from coppolas travesty to the porno

yonkers is such a deeply unserious name for a place. i bet nobody even dies there

I’m actually the opposite of transgender. I look at women and I’m like damn they’re so cool I wish I was a woman and then I remember I’m literally a cis woman.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW

THIS IS A TRUMPET

THIS IS A TROMBONE

THIS IS A TUBA

AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

we went to bed at 6pm last night and whenever i woke up my brain would try to slowly reconstruct the phrasing and imagery of McDonald's Honey Bustard Pickled Sea fuck meal and as soon as id get it right i would fall back asleep happened about a dozen times

I know.

you never know!

Reductress really taking no prisoners today

update on personal life stuff

got hit by 12 cars and died. sory. all at once. no traces left behind. I think one of the cars was carnivorous

mer are you... are you okay

im studying engineering

i hate magicians because when i was seven i was watching a magician perform during my friend's birthday party and he did this one trick where he would take a black statuette and a white statuette, cover them each with a cloth, and then lift the cloths off to reveal that they were in separate places. and i thought i had figured out the trick so i yelled to the magician that the back sides of the statuettes were painted with opposite colors and he was just turning them while they were covered by the cloth. and the biggest, shit-eatingest grin spread across his face as he turned the statuettes to reveal that the back halves were painted yellow and red. everyone clapped and cheered and he bowed like five times. to this day i dont know how he pulled that shit off and every time i'm reminded of it i get a brain hemorrhage from pissing myself off real bad