My Genuine Expectation For That Sentence

this girl at uni was dressed sooo gay and then i found out she's just straight with a lesbian mom. dykebaiting is not a victimless crime 😔

I have been so utterly transfixed by this phrase lately.

I find myself saying this out lout whenever I feel stumped by any conversation. Any time a conversation gets kinda stupid and people start saying unnecessary things I immediately have a strong compulsion to say "uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games"

normal is when the girl with a penis is in your porn. woke is when the girl with a penis is in your coffee shop.

I’m bored and nosy. Please reblog this with the book you’re currently reading.

I’m actually the opposite of transgender. I look at women and I’m like damn they’re so cool I wish I was a woman and then I remember I’m literally a cis woman.

L

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

Anyone wanna spread animal ears like a fungus together

being a humanities major who’s friends with stem majors is so funny because you’ll ask your friends what they’re doing today and they’re like “UGH it’s so stressful i have to stabilize the reactor core for my nuclear power midterm and then i have to build the supercomputer from i have no mouth yet i must scream for my electrical engineering homework :/ what about you” and you’re like “oh well i have to read a fun little book and write an essay about gender.” and they still think you have it worse

me and gf were making out and i slipped my hand into her waistband for a second and burst into uncontrollable laughter because this fucking tweet appeared in my head like a message from god