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Assertive Communication 🗣

Assertiveness

When communicating keep in mind your experiences, such as, feelings, thoughts, & behaviors might be differ from others.

Thoughts and emotions if not handled properly can get in the way off effective communication.

It’s easy to misunderstand what the other person is communicating. We tend to react to what we think they are saying.

Types of Communication

Passive

Overview: those who communicate passively tend to be submissive and compliant. They don’t expresse their feelings or thoughts.

Consequences: give into others and don’t get what they want.

Aggressive

Overview: person will be demanding and hostile. They come of rude and insensitive. At times they can use intimidation to get what they want.

Consequences: upset others and becomes angry and resentful. People will distance themselves.

Passive-Aggressive

Overview: this type of person will say what others want to hear to evade conflicts, but at the same time they will feel anger and resentment.

Consequences: creates future problems for not following through what was established during communication.

Manipulator

Overview: here the person will make others feel guilty to obtain what they want. Other times the communicator will play the victim as well.

Consequences: upsets other people and loses their trust and respect.

Affirmative

Overview: this type of person has healthy communication. They express their needs and emotions in a direct, respectful and honest manner. They actively listen to others and take responsibility for what they say.

Consequences: good relationships and effective communication.

Tips on Assertive Communication

Be specific when speaking.

Use “I” statements.

Decribe what you heard and observed instead of judging.

Politely ask the other person what they understood. This helps prevent future misunderstandings.

Provide positive feedback.

State your limits and boundaries in the beginning.

Saying “No”

Saying “no” does not make you a bad person. There are ways of saying it respectfully, for example:

I’m sorry, but I can’t take on anything else at the moment.

I’m busy, maybe some other time.

I would love to, but I have too much on my plate right now.

At this very moment I can’t, but let me point you to the person who might be able to help.

Keep in mind these responses are enough. You do not need to further explain anything.

“I” Statements

These type of statements help communicate your thoughts and feelings without verbally attacking or acusong the other person. When we are upset we communicate defensively. For example:

Wrong: You can’t continue arriving late! You’re not considerate and completely disrespectful!

Correct: I become worried when you are late. I feel Iike you aren’t considering how I am feeling. How can we arrive to an agreement?

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For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.

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This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

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How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

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How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

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How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

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How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

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