Funny Morning Commute Story:
A portly petite lady gets on the train. There’s an empty seat, but the dude next to it has man-spread so there’s little space to actually sit. The lady is undaunted, she says loudly “I think I will have a sit” as a warning and then squeezes herself in. The man does not attempt to reign in his man-spread.
The guy gets off on a next stop, and I’m not really paying attention to them anymore, except I hear the word “man-spread” so I instantly perk-up and look over. And then she says loudly:
“I’m sorry, but if you have such a great need to air out your balls, you need to be checked out for venereal diseases.”
At some point during that sentence we make eye-contact and I must have a look on my face like I’m five and excited that I just heard a parent swear. Because she laughs, while I grin, because she knows I know what she’s talking about.
And that just made my morning like 10x better.
Me getting ready to drop an @everyone in the server at 3 am
Wildcat and Kryoz “Gucci Gang”
teacher: any questions, class?
me: ya what the fuck
hey it’s fuckin uhhhhh bbs dudes as vines
[x]
so yesterday my boss (who is a big burly man with a lot of facial hair) was singing along to the radio and “wrecking ball” came on and he burst out “I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALLLLLL” and kicked a garbage can across the room
i’m still laughing
do you ever just stretch so hard that you pass out and fall on the floor and glimpse the void before wildly waking up again?
UNAPPRECIATED
like just look at this boy :((( he deserves so much love.
Kryoz: THATS IT *tackles Smitty*
Kryoz: *sitting on him while holding down smitty’s wrists* haha! i win mudderf-
Smitty: *moans*
Kryoz: …
Mini: *whispering to Panda* well this got awkward real fast
Kryoz: did… did you just..
Smitty: *blsuhing hardcore* IT WAS YOUR DAMN FAULT! YOU MADE ME DO IT!