[Caught by Penguin's goons and tied to chairs in a warehouse, waiting for the cavalry]
Red Robin: I'm gonna say it. Shakespeare is overrated.
Red Hood: Ok, first of all: how dare you. Second of all: how DARE you?
Red Robin: He's boring and Romeo and Juliet is ridiculous bullshit.
Red Hood: Counterpoint. Romeo and Juliet was always meant to be satire and if you read it with the knowledge that teenagers are idiots it's actually a fantastic, mean commentary on teenage romance.
Red Robin: The only way I'll accept that argument is if he was purposefully making fun of a particular pair of teenagers that he knew in real life and "Romeo and Juliet" was really Shakespeare being petty and mocking his cousin or something.
Red Hood: You- yeah that would be great actually.
Red Robin: Right? Still, my original point stands: Shakespeare is given way too much credit. So he invented some words. big whoop.
Red Hood: He basically invented the English language!
Red Robin: He better have considering the lenght of some of the monologues.
Red Hood: Look, thanks to Shakespeare we get to study dick jokes in school. There are so many dick jokes! How can you NOT like him?
Red Robin: One would think you'd be over Dick jokes, growing up in our family.
Red Hood: Well where do you think I get most of my material??
Red Robin: I'll concede that Macbeth is okay, but the rest of his tragedies? I mean, Hamlet? More like Ham-let-me-out-of-this-AP-English-class
Red Hood: One, that was sub-par and I expect better from you. Two; are you seriously going after HAMLET?
Red Robin: [snorts] Of COURSE you would enjoy a play about a death-obsessed dude with daddy issues and a thirst for revenge.
Red Hood: OK, POINT! But I'm still HELLA insulted. And Shakespeare is a master at exploring the human condition!
Red Robin: [rolls his eyes]
Red Hood: [to one of the Henchmen guarding them] Hey, you! With the ski-mask and bad enough judgement to wear sneakers to a gunfight!
Henchman: Uh... yea?
Red Hood: Back me up here. Shakespeare is a cultural icon.
Henchman: well, uh, he always kinda bored me in school
Red Robin: A-HA!
Red Hood: Oh shut up. Since when are Penguin's goons the go-to authority on literature
Red Robin: Since Shakespeare gets way too much credit because of fanboys like you.
Red Hood: Says the man who CRIED about the Hobbit movies. Several times.
Red Robin: THEY RUINED IT. EXCELLENT PRECEDENCE, EXCELLENT SOURCE MATERIAL AND THEY-
Boss Henchman: [barges in] what the fuck is going on in here? Who's making so much fucking noise?
Red Hood: [inclines his head towards Red Robin] Red Robin here thinks Shakespeare is overrated.
Boss Henchman: [immidiately involved] YOU'RE INSULTING THE BARD? HE BASICALLY INVENTED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Red Hood: [mimicking Red Robin] A-HA!
Red Robin: Look, if you want to stan an author who made a comedy about gaslighting and subjugating a woman through marriage be my guest but I'm different
Boss Henchman: That's a bullshit argument
Henchman #2 -a woman: Nah, he's got a legit point.
Red Robin: Thank you!
Red Hood: One bad play doesn't mean you can diminish the impact of his work as a whole
Red Robin: Oh CAN'T I?
Boss Henchman: I will not stand here and see the Bard slighted in my own house- warehouse- whatever!
-----20 minutes later-----
Boss Henchman: -HISTORICAL CONTEXT
Red Robin: SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A SEXIST APOLOGIST WOULD SAY
Red Hood: THAT'S NOT EVEN-
-----40 minutes later-----
Boss Henchman: SHAKESPEARE SHOWED ME THAT WORDS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL
Henchman #1: I WENT TO AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL!! THEY MADE ME PLAY JULIET DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT I GOT ON THE STREETS
-----70 minutes later-----
Red Hood: YOUNG LEONARDO DI CAPRIO WAS A LEGIT SNACC AND IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE YOU'RE LYING
Red Robin: SO WATCH GANGS OF NEW YORK AT LEAST THAT'S INTERESTING
-----90 minutes later-----
Red Robin: THE FUCKING BARREL SCENE!! WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?!!
-----2 hours later-----
Red Hood: HE TAUGHT HISTORY TO THE MASSES!
Red Robin: HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SLEEP IN CLASS WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT IS WHAT HE DID
-----2,5 hours later-----
Boss Henchman: [pointing a gun at Henchman #1] HOW DARE YOU CALL OTHELLO A LI'L BITCH-
Henchman #2: [Hits Boss Henchman over the head with a chair] JUSTICE FOR KATHERINA
Red Robin: [Cheering] GET HIM, SUSAN
-----4 hours later-----
------The Batcave------
Bruce: [tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose] Ok, tell me again how you managed to escape.
Tim and Jason: [glancing at each other]
Tim: First off, I'd like to state for the record that we had everything perfectly under control.
ok i actually rlly like the art 4 this 10/10
Spideytorch Week Day 6 - Social Media
literally nobody understands this highly popular character like i do
Ok, so, coffeeshop AU where Enjolras is working as a barista to put himself through college and R is the annoying customer.
And everyday, when Grantaire comes in, when he’s not busy arguing with Enjolras about ideological differences, he flirts outrageously with Enjolras and any other barista in earshot, and always orders his coffee the same way:
“I like my coffee like I like my men,” he’ll say, with an enormous wink, before adding whatever relevant adjective he feels that day, be it “tall” or “dark” or “strong” or “could knock me on my ass and honestly I’d thank him for it”.
And Enjolras just rolls his eyes and gets Grantaire his usual and purposefully doesn’t comment on it, because Enjolras fits none of those qualities (except tall, but like, so’s half the male population), and it shouldn’t bother him that much but it does.
So he sulks and he complains to all of his friends who know that he’s being ridiculous (and honestly, he knows he’s being ridiculous, but that’s never stopped him in the past and it’s sure as shit not gonna stop him now) and he tries to get the annoying, cynical man out of his head.
Until one day, when he’s had a late night studying after a protest and he’s tired and on edge and finally just snaps at Grantaire: “Honestly, I’m just here to make your coffee. I don’t really care how you like your men.”
And Grantaire gets really quiet and Enjolras is about to apologize when Grantaire asks, in a kind of strange voice, “How do you like your coffee?”
“What?” Enjolras asks, confused.
“How do you like your coffee?” Grantaire repeats. “I want to buy you a coffee as an apology.”
And Enjolras just looks at him for a long moment before blurting, “I like my coffee like I like my men.”
And Grantaire raises an eyebrow at him. “Oh, really?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Enjolras says, and before he can stop himself, adds, “You know, short, dark and bitter.”
For a moment, he thinks Grantaire doesn’t get it, but then Grantaire grins, a wide grin that crinkles his eyes and makes Enjolras grin almost as a reflex in response.
(And when he hands Grantaire his coffee a little later, when his fingers brush Grantaire’s, when Grantaire stands on his tiptoes to kiss Enjolras quickly on the cheek before leaving with a “See you tomorrow!” tossed over his shoulder, Enjolras is pretty sure his grin is going to last all day.)
if i don’t get a ted lord x reader fic rn i will tweak out
me seeing that my fav character barely/doesn’t have any fanfics OR imagines
forget judaism this interaction is my new religion
Sue: I heard you got caught making out with my brother in the hallway.
Peter: You caught me, Sue. Don’t play stupid.
A discowing moment ✨
i want an episode of the x-men as a sitcom, but like a live infront of a studio audience sitcom. like maybe they’re in like a simulation, or wanda fucked up something, & they all r stuck in a sitcom. & they can all see the audience, but they can’t interact w/ them.
enjolras would definitely find out he has a crush on grantaire in the middle of passionate rant. “He always leaves his stinky socks all over the place, it’s SO annoying…and he also does this thing where he keeps losing the caps of all his water bottles…and did I tell you how embarrassing his Italian impression is? oh, and every time he thinks he’s winning an argument he has the stupidest grin…but when he actually does say meaningful and intelligent things he only shrugs it off. Ugh.”
courf and combeferre would look at each other, smirking, until enjolras would stop and realize. then he’d be too proud to admit it until he and grantaire are left bickering after a meeting, and enjolras is like “I kinda wanna kiss you right now.” UGH
Kon: So then ma says "well you're not coming back into this house until you've caught every single one of them pigs"-
Tim: [clutching his coffee-mug and listening intently] without powers?
Kon: Of course! So there I am, covered in mud, and all I want is to eat some pie and go to bed-
Tim: [nodding enthusiastically while Kon continues his story]
Clark: [looks on from a distance]
Jon: [a few seats away] Did I tell you we got a new cow on the farm?
Damian: [with interest] what did you name her?
Jon: We haven't decided yet, Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but pa and I-
Damian: [earnestly interested]
Clark: [side eyes Bruce who's sitting next to him going through reports]
Clark: Hey Bruce?
Bruce: [grunts]
Clark: did I tell you we got a new cow at the farm?
Bruce: [hums noncommitally and continues reading]
Clark: [strained] Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but I think we should call her Susie and Jon-
Bruce: [sighs exasperatedly]
Clark:
Clark: [rips the reports away from Bruce with super speed]
Bruce: What the hell?
Clark: You're such a bad friend!
Bruce: what?
Clark: why am I stuck with you when my children's bat friends are so nice?!
Bruce:
Clark: Look at Tim! He's so nice! Why can't you be like that?!
Bruce: You want me to be like Tim?
Clark: Or Damian!
Bruce: [rubbing his temples] You want me to be like Damian?
Clark: I want you to listen when I talk!
Bruce: you were talking about cows
Clark: that doesn't matter!
Bruce: It matters a little
Clark: Cows are interesting!
Bruce: Cows are the opposite of interesting.
Clark: Well, I'M interesting
Bruce:
Clark: Bruce, tell me I'm interesting.
Bruce: [gets up and starts walking away]
Clark: [shouts after him] Bruce! Tell me I'm interesting!
Bruce: [walks faster]
-a week later-
Wonder Woman: Are Batman and Superman having a fight?
Flash: yeah I think so. I don't know what about though
Martian Mindhunter: I believe Batman insulted Superman's cow
Wonder Woman: I see.
Black Canary: Sometimes I wake up at night and think about the fact that they are two of the most important members of an organization that protects the world from certain annihilation and then I can't go back to sleep
Green Lantern: [feet propped on the table, throwing almonds into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth] yeah it freaks me out too
Black Canary: [glances at Green Lantern] never leave us, Diana.
Annual Les Amis camping weekend takes an excellent turn.