To Be Honest As A Writer I Can't Relate Enough

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L.I.E: Love is Exacting #10

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 

“Huh?" 

He’s kidding me. Now he’s got to be kidding me. why would I be tutoring him? And how would that even be beneficial to me? And how would I get mom to accept meeting with a boy in the weekend? And when did he even give a shit about studies in the first place? 

"That’s right” Hanbin put his hands in his pockets.

“Are you crazy mom would never accept” I replied.

“come on mothers love me” he said and I rolled my eyes.

“give me that phone” he said as he snatched the device from my hands.

“Hey!” I tried retrieving my phone back from him as I watched him easily unlocking it And accessing the contacts.

“How do you even know my secret pattern” I asked, still struggling to get my device back.

“You can say I spied" he simply replied.

“Hello Auntie!” Hanbin suddenly said and I realized he had already dialed mom’s number. My jaw dropped as I froze. 

Oh crap. 

I’m doomed. 

“Don’t worry, I’m Hajin’s classmate" 

*oh goodness* 

"Auntie you know how your daughter is a good student and all, and I’m not that good with maths. So I wanted to ask if it was okay if she’d tutor me this weekend…. yeah in my house" 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CRAZY” I mouthed to Hanbin as I ran to take the phone away from him but he had always been way faster.

“don’t worry my mother will be there. She teaches here and Hajin knows her…. yeah, yeah I’m sure…. it’d be very nice if you accept Auntie please?” Hanbin kept talking and I almost slapped him for the tone he was using, I mean was he just doing aegyo to mom? I’m so getting questioned when I get home. 

“Thanks Auntie! Have a good day!” He finished and hung up.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE FREAKING DOING– UGH” I scolded Hanbin as he finally gave me my phone back, the huge idiotic smile never leaving his face. He knew he just threw me in trouble. 

“Booking myself a tutoring session?” Hanbin casually answered, as if it was the most logical thing on earth. God can I slap him. 

“what the hell I’m dead meat tonight” I scoffed and eyed him disgustedly.

“Oh come on she said yes what else could go wrong" 

"My life could go wrong! she was probably being nice just because–” I was cut off by Hanbin literally pinching my lips shut and that’s how I turned into a seal making the weirdest sounds, whining how much it fucking hurt. What the heck goes on his mind when he does stuff like these? And the fact that he was my goddamned freaking crush made it worse since Kim Hanbin was the king of skinship. 

“Rule number one; don’t whine over plotwists.” He said and I looked at him as if he was crazy.

“when life throws lemons at you, you make a lemonade” he explained.

“More like you throw them back at Kim Hanbin” I grumbled and he turned to me.

“See? You can’t even accept a plotwist of lemons then what about real life problems!” Hanbin almost scolded me and I had nothing to say.

“You’re tutoring me and that’s part of the plan. This is your first step, deal with it” he added and left. I huffed and exited the rooftop soon after 

- 

“So who’s that guy who called?" 

"A classmate” I answered mom before taking a bite of my muffin.

“And you really know his mother?" 

"Yeah she taught me before”

“Be careful though” my mother quietly said then took a sip of her coffee 

“Hmm” I replied and went upstairs.

- 

I sighed one more time as I looked down at my outfit; a very plain black skirt matched with a red flannel, black stockings, shoes and purse. I was waiting for Hanbin to appear for about ten minutes now, what a penctual human being.

Clutching my hands tighter against my notebook, I looked around once more for a trace of Kim Hanbin. 

“Hey, let’s go" 

"Hi I’m fine thanks for asking” I scoffed at Hanbin as he came and tried dragging me with him two seconds after. I mean, I swear to God there are other ways to accompany someone other than shoving them everywhere.

“Yeah yeah drop them formalities. the bus is going" 

"Wait what bu—” without even being able to finish Hanbin grabbed my hand and ran towards the bus a few meters away from us. 

Wait. 

Okay what the hell. I was supposed to wait for him here because I didn’t know where he exactly lived. 

This wasn’t how it worked. This wasn’t how any of this worked. But there was something I was sure of and it was that Kim Hanbin needed to stop casually touching me all of a sudden because even though I could say I’m chill with him now my heart still skips a beat whenever he held my hand or touched my cheek. 

“Where the heck are you taking me” I whispered to Hanbin as soon as we were seated down And got my forehead flicked almost immediately.

“remember rule number one” was all I got from him afterwards. I wrinkled my nose at him as I rubbed my sour forehead, hoping Kim Hanbin wasn’t taking me to the infinity and beyond. 

- 

“…You’ve got to be kidding me” I said in disbelief as the two of us stood in front of the huge gates of…. well, Lotte World.

“Such a shame to waste a good day like this studying huh?” Hanbin said giving me the famous ‘ha? Waddaya say?’ Look and I stared at him dumbfounded.

“But what the hell what do I do with this notebook now, and how am I supposed to survive here with a skirt, and why didn’t you even tell me to dress casually–” I started ranting, since I looked more like an emo human being in that colorful place, then soon got cut off by an annoyed Hanbin.

“Rule number one you rascal,” he snapped, “First i swear to god you won’t die holding a notebook inside Lotte World. Second,” he smirked, looking down at my skirt and I gulped, “don’t worry I’m a gentleman I don’t look under skirts” Hanbin added and soon got hit on the arm, but finished talking nevertheless, “ouch, and third I wouldn’t mind even if you came in your pajamas to be honest." 

Long story short, Hanbin dragged me around every game around there, an excited him and an ever so done me. 

"Its about time we ride this” he said as soon as we stepped out of the spinning cups, me still stumbling to regain my balance. I looked up to where he was staring and my brain broke the emergency button. The roller coaster. 

“No no no no wait wait no no look we’re NOT riding this” I told Hanbin as I tried to stop him from walking towards the game, which he seemed not to be bothered by at all. Gosh why the heck was he that built up. 

“Why not” he simply replied.

“Because I’m so dying up there and you’re going to pay my funeral and tomb fees then get jailed after" 

"Stop with the nonsense” Hanbin finally uttered after having enough of my whining, reaching the boarding platform.

I stopped at my tracks, “No I’m not getting in I swear Kim Hanbi–” I suddenly shrieked as Mister super gentleman literally held me by my waist and threw me on the chair, taking a seat immediately after to stop me from escaping. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t going to pass out at that moment. Not only because I was living my last few minutes before the ride started, but also because Kim Hanbin was so fucking touchy he needed a slap on the face, or someone to tie him to a chair and punch him, punch him multiple times. And the latter sounded more pleasant. 

I would bet all of Steve Jobs’ money everyone was not only staring at us, but also judging, and thinking we were together. The last one didn’t sound too bad but it wasn’t true so it was the worst. If he did this to me I wonder what Mirae is facing.. 

“Oh fuck” I whispered as soon as the machine started advancing more and more towards the peak, tightly gripping on the railing as if my life depended on it; well, at some point, it did. 

“WAIT I NEED A COUNTDOWN” I almost yelled to Hanbin since we were reaching the summit and everyone was screaming by that time and I sure as heck wasn’t ready for whatever was coming next.

“RULE NUMBER TWO: FORGET ABOUT ONE TWO THREE” he yelled back like a mad man and threw his hands in the air, a huge smile on his face as the machine took a dramatic shoot to the bottom. 

I shut my eyes and screamed my lungs out. 

#11

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #2

#1

I knew he liked me, Byungjoo did. He wasn’t really that obvious, but I’ve known him enough to figure out. He was my neighbor for thirteen years now, and the first and only friend I made when I came to their neighborhood when I was four. We were quite close as kids I mean I used to do everything with him, play together, study together, I used to rely on him in everything, and had to buy him the same thing of anything I bought, he defended me the whole time and never left my side as we grew up together. I honestly felt grateful, no lie, but now we grew up, and things changed. We aren’t kids anymore. A simple touch isn’t meaningless anymore. Since we graduated middle school I started noticing, Byungjoo wasn’t the same anymore, he eyed me differently, behaved around me differently, even his tone of talking to me changed. That was enough for me to realize that it’s not the same anymore. Byungjoo didn’t see me as a best friend anymore, but as a girl. And I honestly felt guilty because I really didn’t mirror those feelings. I liked Hanbin. Though I knew I had no chance with him, my heart kept longing for him pathetically. I knew this was going to finish some day by me rejecting Byungjoo and never having Hanbin. And I’m sure Byungjoo would start distancing himself from me after and I really don’t want that. I only had Byungjoo. And loosing him wasn’t on my to do list. I actually lied, heh, I’m sorry. I haven’t always been alone after all. Byungjoo was always there, at least in the background. Checking on me between periods -as we studied in different classes-, having lunch with me, walking me home often and having the weirdest viber conversations. Byungjoo was actually the only person I was opened up with. I could freely talk without fearing him nor his reaction. I honestly felt comfortable around him because I could show my real self in front of him. What I liked about Byungjoo the most was how he was different from the others. Although he had known me for a long while, he wouldn’t just barge in when I’m sitting alone in silence. I almost think he reads my face. Whether I’m alone and liking it, or needing someone to talk to, or just a silent company. He knew me way too well. Although I was never the talkitive type. Yet I guess he just got used to my system, and unfortunately grew affectionate towards it. I sat almost cross legged -I was never good at that- over the a/c unit’s brick shade, slowly and gradually taking bites of my sandwich. Byungjoo had apparently thought it was nice to go to the rooftop and have lunch. This is both of us’ first time getting up here and if we get into trouble it’s totally his fault. Well it was pretty and comfortable here though, it was quiet and refreshing. Something Byungjoo knew I liked and that’s probably why he brought me here. And I was feeling glad he never really talked unless it was necessary. And that he got me up here because I honestly would never do that alone. I zoned out staring at the ceiling, well I pretended to, trying to look oblivious of Byungjoo intensly staring at me, I never really liked to ‘catch’ him while he’s at it, I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around me so I’ve always let him be. Biting the inner of my mouth I secretly wished he disliked me instead because I totally hated the idea of hurting him, I hated it so much that I refuse the occurrence of the process. I had finished eating by the time Byungjoo called me, offering a sweet. “Don’t even try to say no because I’m not taking that as an answer” he said as I opened my mouth to refuse. I chuckled. “Sassy. Thanks” I silently replied, placing the candy in my pocket. He knew well that I needed something sugary between sessions. he probably won’t be attending class this afternoon that’s why he’s handing it to me now, he never came on Wednesday afternoons. He needs to stop ditching secondary subjects. Me and Byungjoo stayed in silence for a good while. Just enjoying each other’s company. This time he was more of concentrating on the floor, suddenly finding it more attractive than me, well honestly it was, I’m funny I know. His straight eyebrows furrowed and his pink lips slightly perked up; the typical face Kim Byungjoo made when he was in deep thoughts. I guess this time it was my turn to stare at him. From how the soft winds gently played with his blond hair and to how he rested his back on the edge of where I was sitting, legs crossed and hands in his pockets. Byungjoo was good looking, I’m not even going to lie about it. He was so good looking I actually questioned why didn’t I fall for him instead. I mean I’m not that superficial but let’s be honest, he’s nice, senseful, funny and responsible, and being good looking was like the icing on the cake. The cake that had been in front of me since I was four yet I never thought of tasting it. “What?” Did I stare for too long? “nothing. Just being creepy” I quickly averted his gaze and heard him chuckle “Ugh it’s cold” I muttered after few moments but soon regretted it because I had Byungjoo’s attention focused on me as he quickly took off his blazer and placed it over my shoulders “Hey I was just saying” “Just wear it, I don’t wanted to be blamed if you get sick” he hinted at how mom always told him to look after me as if I was five. “Lets go down” he said as he pushed himself off the short wall and started walking to the door, not even bothering to look back as he knew I was following behind him. “Hey” he turned “Your jacket” I said as I approached him more. He was going out now so he technically needed it more than me who’s going to stay under a roof. “Keep it on” he answered as soon as I laid my hands over the blazer to take it off “But people will misunder–” I started as I pushed it off but was soon cut off by Byungjoo placing both of his hand firmly on my shoulders, putting the jacket back on “Let them be.” he replied, intensely looking straight at my eyes and I felt terrified for a second to be honest. “Take care” Byungjoo added before letting go of me, then inserted his hands back in his pockets, quickly descending the stairs as I stood there like an idiot. I bit my lip.

#3

here is a loving hugging bear for those who are struggling now.

❤     ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ      ❤

For Writers:

Reblog if it’s okay for your followers to leave you an ask telling you what the one thing is they remember you for as a writer.  Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization?  Is it that one weird kink they never thought they’d be into, but oh my god wow self-discovery time?

pass the happy! when you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

Hello!!! Thank you for sending this, uhm let's see

With no actual order:

1. I know this is gonna sound cheesy but stray kids

2. Colors

3. Makeup

4. Food

5. Soft stuff

sounds v basic but that's where I find peace and joy

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #5

#1 #2 #3 #4

It was a nice day. It was one of those autumn days that are exceptionally less chilly. The sun would occasionally pay the sky a visit and it was kind of warm. Well, that’s what someone would think. But personally, I found it a bad day. A horrible day. Isn’t everyday horrible anyways? Life itself is horrible. But I didn’t mind as long as I was able to deal with its crap. I wouldn’t mind a tornado or a tsunami taking me away though just saying. I was walking to school again with ByungJoo as usual. He Stayed a bit with me in the classroom before the math teacher entered and he had to go. lesson started, and I was honestly in no mood for math. The lesson was about Spacial Geometry. It was ridiculous. And I was more than sick of my teacher being busy shushing everyone more than actually progressing in the lesson. “Okay now attention!!” She said as she stood up, after giving us five minutes to try on a task, which everyone was apparently ignoring and was chatting with their friends. “Everyone look here! Soojung, pay attention, Jaebum put that phone down- Hanbin what are you looking a—” the teacher stopped talking and my head shot up from writing as soon as I heard Hanbin’s name. I turned to him and he gave the teacher an innocent look before looking down. I looked at my teacher and a playful smile was on her face as she stared between me and Hanbin and in no time everyone was looking at me “Huh?” I quietly muttered, I was too immersed in solving the task that I didn’t know what was happening “Hajin, be careful huh” my teacher said with the same playful smile and I glanced at Hanbin and he was still looking down, a small smile that ressembled more of a -awkward- smirk on his face this time. Was he looking at me? I looked down at my notebook again expressionless, I just hoped I wasn’t blushing so I’d look like I showed no emotion to what just happened. Its not like this never happened before. I’ve noticed him looking at me more than twice. I think I’ve mentioned that. But from what I know about Hanbin he wasn’t the type to let off his guard, let alone the teacher noticing him. He sure interacted a lot with girls. It was always the cool side of him, but never the affectionate. Why was he staring at me like this? Is he that bothered by the fact that I am not all over him? Did he need to talk to me? Was he just spacing out? (Since the lesson is about space, get it?) And that’s how and for the morning period, my mind was filled of thoughts about Hanbin, Hanbin, and more Hanbin. Mondays have always got on my nerves since I had a full day, let alone my Philosophy teacher and her weird annoying rules she suddenly makes up basically to make us hate her even more. And so, by noon, I was on the verge of chopping the head of anyone who touched me. “Hajin, hold up I need to talk to you” my Literature teacher told me as the bell rang and everyone was hollering out of class *ugh what now* I thought as I went up to her desk “Whats wrong with you? Your test answers disappointed me” she started and I almost made a face “And you went out early. I thought you encountered the topic before and answered fast, but I didn’t like your answers at all” she added “Its just not of me to think twice when answering” I replied quietly, I was seriously in no mood that day, let alone that literature was never my thing “Were you sick?” “… kind of” I muttered “I assume this won’t happen next time” she said as she got up from her chair and went out “It won’t, ma'am” I whispered as I bowed at her and huffed as soon as she was out of my sight “Wow calm down there your Highness” Byungjoo said as he saw me furiously stuffing my belongings in my backpack. “Piss off Byungjoo” I hissed as I made my way to the rooftop. I could feel him following behind me as I walked up the stairs. Byungjoo just never knew how to leave me alone. “What happened?” He asked, keeping a safe distance between us as I sat on my usual spot “None of your business” I hissed hoping he’d get the message that I’m not welcoming any company. I wanted to be alone. I needed time for myself. All the pressure around me was frustrating and I wanted to run away from it. Everyone was expecting the best from me. I was a goddamned human too. Why wouldn’t they expect others to do excellent too? Why wouldn’t they expect others to be responsible and hard working too? Why were they all almost depending on me? Wasn’t I allowed to wrong? Many similar thoughts lingered around my head and by the time, tears were Streaming down my cheeks. 

It was all so frustrating. I wanted to run away from all these ideas. I wanted somewhere to escape to and find peace. Somewhere where I can feel safe. And where no one can hurt me. And I immediately found that somewhere as Byungjoo’s arms wrapped securely around me. He pulled me close quietly as his body radiated heat against my freezing one. Byungjoo just stayed there, silent, rubbing circles with his thumb against my right shoulder blade. 

I liked it in his arms. It felt warm and secure. And for a second, I remembered that it wasn’t only Hanbin that mattered in my life. It was Byungjoo. Byungjoo had always been there for me. Whether I was in a surprisingly good mood or my usual dull attitude. He never really complained when I was cold to him. He knew me too well to. He knew too well that in the end, I’ll end up crying in his arms, where he comforts me and tells me everything will be alright and that I’m stronger than any obstacle. 

I ducked my head deeper in his chest as I effortlessly leaned against him, sobbing quietly.

“I’m tired Byungjoo. I’m tired of all of this. I just can’t anymore. It’s too much” I muttered between my sobs, and if it was someone else they wouldn’t get any of what I said. I mean let’s be logical, what I said didn’t make any sense. It was damn blurry yet I knew that even if he didn’t show it, Byungjoo knew what I meant. He knew that the world scared me. He knew I was insecure. The only thing he was oblivious of was Hanbin. And at some point of that moment, Hanbin was the last thing I could think of, after he was the only thing filling my head this morning. Byungjoo whispered comforting words soothingly against my hair, leading my sobs to tone down. I finally circled my arms around his waist and was ready to stay like this forever. Because at that moment, I wasn’t feeling alone anymore. 

And nothing really mattered more than that.

#6

Her

“I’m afraid of her. She’s always there. She tells me I’m ugly and stupid, and appears whenever I feel good about myself to prove me wrong. I’m really afraid of her She even appears in my dreams, when I close my eyes I see her, when I open them too. I have no idea when would she appear. And it’s scary. She is scary. And i want her to leave me alone. But she will never do. She will kill me one day and that is for sure” “Who is she” “Me. I am really afraid of myself. I am really afraid that I can’t stand myself, I am really afraid to even close by eyes because I’d see her . Does that even make sense?” “Bin-ah, I really don’t want to be scared of myself I really want to love myself Bin-ah, Please save me.”

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"THATS NOT IT" I gasp dramatically as I put down my mechanical pencil and grab another one