Orsino & Ophelia

has anybody else been struggling with thoughts

Budapest, Hungary

No rizz just fear of abandonment

actually, growing up is feeling like i turned sixteen two days ago. i’ve been eighteen for years. fifteen year olds seem so young. wasn’t i fifteen just a few weeks ago? all my friends and i are still twelve. i’m closer to thirty than to being a baby. i never got to be a kid. i never grew past eight. i can’t talk to my mom. i want to sit in her lap forever. i want to decide everything for myself. i need someone to tell me exactly what to do. the week is going by so slow. an entire year has passed.

㋡🥀

colors of the sky.

Es war, als hätt' der Himmel

Die Erde still geküsst,

Dass sie im Blütenschimmer

Von ihm nun träumen müsst'.

Die Luft ging durch die Felder,

Die Ähren wogten sacht,

Es rauschten leis' die Wälder,

So sternklar war die Nacht.

Und meine Seele spannte

Weit ihre Flügel aus,

Flog durch die stillen Lande,

Als flöge sie nach Haus.

- "Mondnacht", von Joseph von Eichendorff (1837)

Since when did I start going to bed at 5 and waking up at 3?

i would be soooooo powerful if i wasn't so deeply afraid of people and places and also things