Aw Man I Dropped My Iphone

the universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

human: GO FAST

the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST

the universe: wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER

this

I really hope that's not what happened

If humans have only existed for 0.2% of the earth’s existence, it’s way more likely aliens turned up, saw an empty planet and then left without a second thought.

During childhood, we are told that jokes about the genital areas are adult content, but once we become adults, these jokes are considered ‘childish’.