Nicole Beharie Is A Goddess

Nicole Beharie photographed by Lance Gross

I love Gabby's personality. She has a tough skin and she has her priorities straight unlike Aaron. I feel bad for her though. She's a strong woman and I feel like Aaron took advantage of that in some aspects. Like, he probably thought she would brush it and move on as no big deal. If I'm going to keep it a 100, Nami and Dutch both wrong. Even before Dutch found out about Nami, she was messing around with Nas at his crib. Two wrongs don't make a right but hey, I just thought I point that out.

I’m glad you love Gabby’s personality, I often have a difficult time with writing from her POV. The fact that you enjoy her really means something to me, thank you. Gabby’s strong, don’t feel sorry for her she got this. Aaron definitely did underestimate Gabby and took her for granted for the last time. Moving forward she’s worried about herself, her children and her company. 

Yes, you’re correct Dutch and Nami are both wrong, no doubt about that. For Nami step out her relationship is wrong, but a year out of three years you’ve been in a relationship is straight disrespectful. Nami is on a whole nother level with her bullshit at this point. Dutch wasn’t right either and that will definitely be addressed. Nasir and Dutch both have a lot of explaining to do.

Thank you love, this feedback in particular is helping me with where I’m taking the next two chapters. You gave me something and I’m not sure what it is, but I plan to figure it out. Thanks again.

Ch. 5 Pt. 2 | Damn, It's Like That?

Beau

Cheri’s House

8:14 p.m.

I’ve never had someone look at me with so much hatred and malice before until I met this man who I now know to be Nasir. And it’s crazy because it’s misguided hatred; I wasn’t the one driving the car nor was I the one to give Riley the alcohol. He’s ready to go to war with the wrong one.

 I watched his every move, mannerism and gesture, as he got ready to charge at me. This nigga got me fucked up, I didn’t earn my Golden Gloves and spend countless hours training to get my ass whooped by some cornball ass nigga. He thought he was big jumping me at the hospital, but fuck it we can get even now.

 Before either of us could swing I heard her voice firmly speak up,

“Yo I swear to God if either one of y’all swing I’m bodying both of y’all and ya mans too,” she said coldly and calmly making everybody stop dead in their tracks.She had our undivided attention and she didn’t have to raise her voice or make a scene to get it.

 Hearing her thick Brooklyn accent flow effortlessly along with the bass added in her voice had me ready to get her up out that chair.

A woman that isn’t afraid to speak up when need be is sexy and by the look radiating in eyes she knew the power she had.

“You have no plausible reason to want to scrap with him other than being in your feelings?” she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. I analyzed her every move and mentally stored away everything she said.

“You serious right na?!” Nas growled at her.

He was literally fuming, “This nigga took so much from you, from everyone around you and I’m not bout to have him up in my house, eating my shit up and his mans damn sure ain’t bout to be fucking with my sister,” he spat.

 She stared at him for a good two minutes before she did the last thing any of us expected her to do. She laughed, laughed right in his face. She laughed so hard her side hurt and tears came to her eyes.

“Fuck is so funny Dutch!” he said genuinely upset I could even see a hit on the hurt written on his face.

She wiped her eyes, “You, because clearly you have lost your cotton picking ass mind if you think you’re gonna stand here and tell me what has been taken from me,” she growled.

“You damn right something was taken from me, but he wasn’t necessarily the one who took it. You’re stupid ass can’t even get the full story because you’re so blinded by anger that you can’t even see who’s really at fault,” she giving Riley her full attention.

 Her glare was so intense he immediately dropped his eyes from contact. He looked like a scared child being put on trial. Unfortunately for him, Dutchess was the only judge and jury for his case.

“I’m well aware of what was taken from me and no mothafucka in this room can tell me otherwise. I need to know why it was taken and there are only two people in this room that can give me those answers. I’ll be damned if you lose your black ass mind and end up doing something stupid, yet” she added with a beautiful, mischievous smile. Her filthy mouth turned me on; baby girl could cuss like a sailor and still be sexy.

 “Do you know what it’s like to have the one you love act like you don’t exist?!” she continued her rant.

 “Huh?! Got mothafuckas looking at me like I’m a fucking leper or some cripple! Gotta fucking rely on you to do simple shit for me like wash my ass?! Do you have any idea how fucking embarrassing that shit is?

Never in my life have I ever needed to rely on anything or anyone and now look at me!” she barked dejected and hurt.

“Now get your shit together AK and Autumn are going to be here any minute, I don’t need both of y’all acting like y’all have no sense,” she said somewhat dismissing him. He looked at her like she was crazy.

 He wanted to fuck her up so bad, I could see it, she could see it, but what I didn’t see was fear. His body language was telling us that he wanted to rip her apart piece-by-piece by her eyes read “Nigga please try it”. She wasn’t backing down from his hard stare.

 “Whateva man,” he huffed out salty as fuck and went into another room slamming the door shut. So hard that the doorframe rattled making Cheri jump.

 I watched her let out a deep breath, probably one she had been holding for sometime. She looked down before raising her head and shot me a beautiful apologetic smile.

 I was taken back by everything that transpired and this woman before me, I never expected her to hold me down and fully understand that I wasn’t responsible for putting the wheelchair, but seeing her genuinely smile meant everything to me. I couldn’t ask for more.

 She didn’t have to say anything more to me because I knew from then that she somewhat understood my position. I couldn’t help but return my own toothy grin.

 “I’m gonna go check on him, Dutch you okay out here for a sec?” Cheri asked flustered as she walked towards his room. I feel like shit for ruining her dinner before it even got started.

 “Yeah, I’ll be fine” she said never taking her eyes off Riley.

 Since we got here for some reason she hasn’t taken her eyes off him. It’s like she instantly knew he was the driver and once it was confirmed she locked on to her target. He was prey and she was prepared to feed. It was a little unsettling.

 She studied his movements and seemed to enjoy watching him falter under her microscope. 

“So how’s the recovery process?” Jay asked Dutchess trying to make small talk to lighten the mood.

 “I’m curious what were you drinking that night?” she kept her focus on Riley completely disregarding Jay’s question and his presence.

 “Damn, coldblooded," I heard him mumble and I shook my head, chuckling. Dutchess has made it very clear that she had no problems holding her own.

 “151 and Henny,” Riley said bluntly, coldly even. I could tell all the attention on him had him edge. He had a bad habit of getting out of pocket and saying slick shit, but I can tell he’s met his match with Dutch.

 She solemnly nodded her head letting what he said register in her mind. She wanted answers and I can tell we’re not leaving until she gets them.

 “Was it worth it?” she asked Riley.

 He scrunched up his face perplexed, “What?”

“You ruined my fucking life you little piece of shit! You damn near took everything from me, but couldn’t take my life! You’re selfish as fuck and karma is a bitch. Not only did you put my life in the crosshairs of death, but you put two other lives in danger being a bitch,” she barked at him only for him to cower away.

“I honestly hope and pray to God that you get everything coming to your punk ass because I don’t believe that you genuinely had a reason to be so careless with our lives,” she pointed to herself and me.

 “I think that you’re selfish, narcissistic asshole who needs to learn the value of life and it’s true meaning because you’re a lost soul.

 So when I asked you if it was worth it? And you had that dumb ass look on your face you gave me all the confirmation I needed. I hope you rot,” she said harshly and blunt shocking us all.

Before he could respond she rolled herself into the kitchen leaving us to consume her words and commit them to memory. 

 Dutch

At the dinner table

9:00 p.m.

By the time AK, Autumn and Cheri’s homegirl, Lauryn arrived Nas dragged his sorry out his room, but he has yet to look my way or address me and to be honest I’m glad he hasn’t I don’t have the time or energy to put up with his piss ass attitude. I completely understand the concern he’s feeling. Shit I’m scared too.

Riley excused himself after I ripped him a new asshole, he called himself a cab and dipped out before we even had a chance to say grace. But I can guarantee we’ll cross paths again.

 What if he has no plausible explanation though? What if he was just driving drunk for the thrill and I just happened to get hit because of his careless and self-centered nature?

 “Ayo Dutch you heard me?” I heard AK ask me snapping me from my thoughts.

 “Nah I didn’t actually, wassup?” I said nodding my head at Nas indicating that he had put enough food on my plate and I was good. As much as I can’t stand him he did his thing with these oxtails, would have thought his country bumpkin ass was West Indian or some shit. 

“I asked if you seen Nami lately?” he asked curiously and my body tensed up. Just hearing her name brought butterflies to my stomach and my head began to swirl. And effect only she seemed to have.

“Nope, she was over earlier this week to drop off some clothes and hygiene supplies, but other than that no. She said that Aaron has been asking her to make runs at crazy hours so she hasn’t really had much time for herself,” I said as I spooned some rice into my mouth.

I heard Cheri’s friend scoff before shoveling an oxtail in her mouth, “Lauryn, right?” I said catching onto her shady antics.

 “Yeah,” she said plastering a fake ass smile on her face.

 “You seem like you have something to say or have a lot on your mind, do you know Nami?” I asked giving her my full attention. I could feel Nas’ stare damn near burning a hole into the side of my face.

 Beau and Jay look confused as hell. Cheri on the other hand she looked pissed, like her friend spilled the beans and shit was about to hit the fan.

“Nah I don’t know her personally, but I met her when she came into the hospital two weeks ago,” she said matter of factly. She knew she hit a nerve.

Why would she be in the hospital, is she okay? Did something happen? My mind was on a thousand, Nami wouldn’t keep something like that from me, but it seems like I don’t know her anymore.

“Hospital? Why would she be there?” I said trying to down play my curiosity.

“Lauryn can I uh, talk to you in the kitchen real quick?” Cheri interjected before she could respond. I could tell whatever it was Cheri knew and had known for two weeks now.

“Nah fuck that one of y’all better start fucking talking I know that much,” I threatened as I threw my napkin on my plate. My appetite now gone.

 Cheri looked at me with eyes full of pity and regret. Lauryn just looked confused and spaced out.

 “She came in for a pregnancy test. She should be about…14 weeks now,” Lauryn said as she counted the weeks on her fingers making sure she was accurate.

 That shit literally took all the wind out of my sail. Pregnant? Nah it can’t be, not my baby. Having a baby? Damn, it’s like that?

 “Dutch….Dutch…DUTCHESS!” Cheri said snapping her fingers in my face.

“Don’t say nothing to me,” I barked at her.

 My face instantly became to sour, when I realized she knew all this time and had me looking like a fucking fool. “You knew didn’t you?”

 She sighed and nodded her head, “Fuck you Cheri, that’s messed up all this time you knew she was playing me, but you just let me go looking for love in the wrong fucking places. That’s foul son.”

“Dutch I don’t think now is the time to discuss this, I really didn’t want you to find out this way. I wanted Nami to be the one to tell you her dirty secret. It wasn’t my place or anyone else’s for that matter,” she pleaded looking around at everyone at the table mugging Lauryn.

"I didn't want to be the one to hurt you."

When I looked around everyone’s face read concern. But fuck that I don’t need their concern. As right as she was forgiveness wasn’t something I could give her.

 “Yeah, well you succeeded. Like I said, Fuck you Cheri,” I coldly spat before rolling myself away from the table my mind full of emotions and my chest tight from the pain I felt

Nasir

10:45 p.m.

I can’t front both those niggas Beau and Jay ain’t too bad, I admit it I prejudged them.

 But their mans though once I see him it’s on sight. Now that they both clarified what happened and the fact that Beau just happened to be in the wrong car at the wrong time I kinda feel like shit for jumping the nigga.

“Damn son, Cheri dropped a bomb my nigga,” AK said taking a long drag from the blunt. After those niggas and Cheri’s bumb ass friend left we decided to roll up. Autumn caught the itis and fell asleep in the room Cheri’s room.

 She felt like shit keeping that secret so she decided to go spend a night at her nigga house for the night. Talkin’ bout she can’t face Dutch, but she could face her when she knew that foul ass secret. Fuck outta hea’ man.

 “I know nigga and something is telling me that it’s that nigga A’s baby,” I said taking the blunt from him and letting all of the interactions between A and Nami replay in my mind.

 I knew the nigga was foul, but I also know he got a wife and kids at home. I never thought he would get himself caught up like that. I also know in my heart that Nami is a trick ass bitch, but I put my feelings to the side for Dutch’s sake.

 All bets are off na.

 Dutch has always looked out for him and held him down; they have literally made millions together over the years. Why fuck up your business relations and money over some pussy?

 This shit is low and dumb even for his greedy ass. I know Dutch is going to get money regardless because she’s been in the business longer and has more connects. Why cut off the hand that helps feed you and your family?

 “Why you say that son?” AK asked sparking up another blunt, I chuckled because we haven’t even finished the one in rotation.

 “About a month ago, just after the accident we were at Dutch’s crib Nami ran out saying she had to make a run, but it didn’t make sense. Your girl just got in car accident and is hella fucked up yet you’re finding a way to make runs instead of being by her side?” I stated as I went through my mental rolodex.

“Yeah my nigga, but that don’t mean it’s A’s though?”

“But check it that night I brought Dutch to the crib on our way to the car I pepped Nami hopping out of a black truck, Aaron’s truck. When I honked the horn at her she was shook. Ain’t nobody out at those hours unless they hoein’ or partyin’,” I told him and he threw his head back laughing.

“You a fool man, but yo I’m about to go carry Autumn’s greedy ass home, but we should link up with that nigga A and get his side of the story,” he said and I nodded my head.

“Iigh bet, but if the nigga gets outta pocket I’m hooking his shit,” I told him with no remorse him heart.

 If it is his baby than he’s flaw as fuck and I have no business breaking bread with a greasy nigga like dat.

 __

“Bae?” I said cautiously walking into my room.

After our blow up earlier and then the bomb dropped on her I was a little uneasy going into the situation.

 When she didn’t respond I peeped her sitting in her chair staring out at the city below, spaced out. She looked so defeated when my eyes met hers, my heart damn near shattered into a billion pieces. She looked worn and disheveled.

 Her beautiful brown skin stained with dry tears,

 Her nose rosy red,

 Those light brown orbs that I’ve grown to love staring into, normally so full of life are now dull, dark and lifeless. They looked like dark empty pits void and incapable of feeling and it scared me.

“Hey, “ she said weakly before dropping her head in shame.

I was by her side in an instant; I didn’t care about our blow up earlier or Nami’s foul ass. She couldn't handle a woman like Dutch anyway. My baby needed me and that’s all that matters at this point.

 I didn’t know what to say or what I could do to pacify the situation because there was no way that I could possibly rectify it at this point. The damage was already done.

“Baby you wanna take a bath? The cuddle up for some good sleep,” I asked as I stroked her cheek with my thumb.

 She swiftly nodded her head never bringing her eyes up to meet mine; I scooped her up and held her close. The connection was what she needed because her body instantly melted into mine nuzzling her face into my neck.

 I sat her in her chair; we kept a chair in the tub just to make her shower process easier. I even had my plumber come by and install a special shower head just for her to make sure she was as comfortable as possible.

 I helped her slip out her clothes and tossed them somewhere in the bathroom. I lifted her so she could ease out of her thong before gingerly sitting her back down.

“Your ribs are healing nicely,” I commented as I carefully removed the bandage from around her torso examining the skin before lightly kissing the area making her jump then sigh.

She just nodded her head not bothering to look at me as she toyed with her fingernails, something she did when nervous.

I put on Pandora to lighten the mood a bit, I could tell that her mind was going into overdrive right na and I just wanted to soothe her in an any way.

I wet her body from her head down and her body instantly began to relax as she let out a ragged sigh.

I massaged shampoo into her scalp taking my time to really let my fingers go to work. I wanted to tonight to really be about her and put her body at ease. If I could absorb any of her pain or heartache I’d gladly take it.

“You want to talk about it?” I cautiously asked her.

“Not yet, I haven’t processed it all myself. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it,” she said finally making eye contact. I could see the torment in her eyes and I felt something I can’t explain.

I nodded my head, continuing my ministrations on her scalp as I began to rinse the shampoo from her hair watching it run down her back. She tilted her head back with her eyes closed to assist me.

I brought the shower head and began to wet the rest of her body. I watched the water splash and pool around her plump thighs and felt my dick twitch. Nami really had to be bat shit crazy to let such a beautiful specimen go.

It was like God himself took the sweetest, richest chocolate he could find and carefully wrapped her body in it. He really took his time with her, I couldn’t see a flaw on her body. Everything about her sat just right, how could someone in their right mind let this go?

“Let me make you feel better for a little while.”

I took a chance and moved the shower head directly between her thighs. Her eyes shot open and her hand moved on top of mine. Once I felt the warmth between her thighs there was no way I was moving my hand, my body wouldn’t allow it. It was almost intoxicating.

 “Naaass” her breath came out ragged and choppy as I started moving the shower head in a slow circular motion making sure the water flow was in direct contact with her clit at all times.

“Talk ta me, wassup babe?” I asked her, my eyes glued to her body watching  everything it was telling me do.

 “Shiiit” she gripped my hand like a vice. I saw lust, confusion and apprehension in her eyes as shit bit down on her bottom lip to stifle her voice.

“Tell me what you want,” I needed to hear her.

 As soon as my lips came into contact with warm, wet skin her head dropped back and a low, sultry moan involuntarily left her lips. And my dick instantly came to full attention.

I took my time kissing up her shoulder and chest taking the time to kiss in between her chest underneath her soft, plentiful breast before latching my mouth onto her nipple suckling it. You would have thought her breast was giving me some milk.

She gave in and her hand found the back of my head massaging my curls egging me on. I adjusted the shower head increasing the pace of my motions. Her grip of my hair instantly tightened and her moans got deeper when she felt the water flow intensify.

I kissed in between her breast making sure to leave my mark every place my lips met. I latched my lips onto her other nipple and instantly knew this was my favorite. It was a bit smaller than the other and fit perfectly in my mouth.

I let my tongue toy with the tip of her nipple making her squirm. Her legs began to twitch and she tried pulling my hand away.

“That’s that spot?” I asked her making my way up her collarbone. I felt her whole body begin to shake underneath me.

It was like her collarbone and clit were connected. The strong flow pumping out of the shower head and my lips licking off the water on her body became too much.

She caught me completely off guard when I felt her grip my head and bring my face to hers. When her soft, plump lips met mine, my mind went blank and my whole body became numb.

I recuperated and kissed her with all the need and want my body could produce. At this moment I needed her to need me, she matched my fervor and introduced her tongue to my mouth.

“Cum for me,” I said against her lips.

She shook her head no.

I smirked against her lips, “Pleease?” I coaxed letting my raspy voice draw out.

She shook her head no again. Trying to hold out on giving me what I wanted.

“Okay,” I simply said while adjusting the shower head to the highest setting. I pulled the hair at the nape of her neck and began to savor every inch of her mouth.

She was like putty in my hands once her orgasm finally hit her. Her hips began to roll and whine in the same motion of my hand. Her hips and my hand were in perfect synchronization working together to get her body to that peak.

 She tried to pull away, but I held her close feeling her shake and twitch in my arms succumbing to everything I was giving her.

 Once she came down from her high her whole body went limp in my arms, she would have teetered off the chair if my body weren’t here supporting her frame.

“You okay?” I softly asked her as I continued lightly kissing her body making sure that no part of her that I could kiss went unkissed while bringing the showerhead away from her now sensitive area.

She nodded her head then bringing her lips to mine. I don’t think I could ever get tired of this. Her lips fit mine perfectly and her mouth was sweet. A deadly combination, now I don’t think I can stop kissing her.

“Bae…let…me…wash…ya,” I said in between pecks to her lips.

She nodded, but didn’t move away and I laughed.

“I like your lips,” she finally said pulling away to let me continue washing her body.

“Yeah?” I said chuckling, “Well I like you.”

 I told her truthfully looking at her to make sure she heard and understood me clearly.

“Maybe, I like you too” she said shyly looking down, playing with her nails.

I laughed at how cute she could be. One minute she’s ready to box with tha god, the next she’s this shy, innocent beautiful person before me.

 “I can take that,” I said turning off the showerhead and preparing the towel for her.

 Gingerly patting her body dry, apply fresh bandages to her torso then wrapping towel around her head, “You ready?” I asked her before lifting her body into mine carrying into my room.

I felt her soft lips kissing my chest and neck.

Everywhere her lips touched the skin began to tingle it was addicting, exhilarating even.

 I laid her on her side and went to go get her night clothes when she reached to grab my hand, “No, I’m sleeping in just a towel tonight. I don’t feel like wearing clothes.”

 I nodded and kneeled on her side, ”Babe I’mma go hop in tha shower real quick, I know you haven’t been sleeping. Try and get some. I’ll be right back,” I said before kissing her forehead, cheek and finally lingering on her full lips.

"We can figure out everything else in the mornin'."

 “Okay,” she said tirelessly yawning.

Before I could even get out of the room I could hear her light snores behind me and I chuckled to myself as I turned off the light.

I walked into the kitchen to wrap up any leftovers and clear any dishes, but I kept hearing this annoying ass buzzin’ coming from the kitchen table. Dutch’s phone.

 I wasn’t trying to be nosey…okay; yeah I was trying to be nosey. When I saw the name “That Boy,” pop up I got curious. And it wasn’t like I was unlocking her phone because the message popped up clear as day on the screen. So TECHNICALLY this is fair game.

             From That Boy:

Hey, I had no idea tonight was going to turn out how it did. I’m really sorry if I added to any of the stress you’re already feeling. That wasn’t my intention. I was wondering if you wanted to meet up at Lotus Blue for lunch tomorrow? Chinese on me =).

-B 

I immediately put two and two together. That little fuck! Just when I thought the lil’ nigga was cool here he go trying to fuck my shit up. Now that I can’t have.

Ch. 1| Nigga Who You?

Nami

Mount Sinai Hospital

 6:20 a.m.

“Miss please, slow down” I heard the nurse frantically saying behind me as she hustled to keep up with me, but she could miss me with that. All I needed to know was where my baby was I didn’t need her assistance in finding her.

“429…” I mumbled to myself as I power walked past other rooms trying to get to the one Dutch was in.

“430…”

“432!” I finally reached it, but I couldn’t bring myself to go in. My emotions got the best of me; I was just on the phone with her. My night wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. I was supposed to cuddled up with my baby watching Sophia shade Blanche for filth while feeding my baby cheesecake. Maybe pass a blunt or two just between us. Instead I’m trying to wrap my mind around how Dutch just got out of surgery and now has two broken legs and four broken ribs. Her doctor said her surgery was a success, but she barely escaped the grips of death. Wearing her helmet, kneepads and arms guards helped more than he could express. He said she’s sleeping and could be out for hours or days only time could tell me when her healing process actually begins.

“Are you going to go in?” The nurse asked curtly with an attitude from behind me still trying to catch her breath.

“Bitch don’t you have some patients to tend to? Fuck you all in mines fuh?” I snapped back.

She rolled her eyes and mumbled something to herself as she walked away. Any other time I wouldn’t hesitate to buss a hospital tray over her head, but I had more pressing matters to deal with. That ass whoopin’ would have to wait. I took a deep breath and walked in. I saw other figures in the room, but my focused zeroed in on Dutch in the middle of the room on the hospital bed.  I pushed past the figure on her right and delicately touched her cut and bruised face. I didn’t want to cry because I wasn’t alone, but seeing something of mine look so frail and broken tore me to my soul. My grief is mine and mine alone so shedding tears with others around wasn’t an option. Her smooth chocolate skin now scraped and the stitches on her eyebrow made me angry. I couldn’t see her lower half because she was tucked so neatly in the bed, but I don’t think I’m ready to face that just now. 

I finally looked up and saw two detectives looking at me with eyes full of concern and inquiry. I could tell they were detectives by the suits they wore, no need for a badge to be flashed a man’s suit says a lot about his character. The other man in the room had a caramel complexion and a few bruises and scratches on his face. He looked at me with so much guilt and regret, I could tell he wanted badly to avert his eyes from my stare, but he didn’t dare. I instantly had a gut feeling that he had something to do with this.

“Excuse me ma’am, but what’s your relationship to the victim?” One of the detectives asked.

“Out of respect for the “victim”,” I said in air quotes mocking him “why don’t you step out and not return until she’s awake.” I said dismissing him and his question, turning my attention back to the man in the room.

Taken aback by my straight forwardness, him and his partner walked away with their tails between their legs back out the door from which they came.

I had so many questions to ask him, but I couldn’t think of the first.

“How did this happen?” I finally asked breaking the awkward silence.

He took a deep breath and his deep voice broke as he started to talk. He stopped and looked at the ceiling as he tried to compose himself.

“I let my mans Riley drive my new whip and shit got outta hand” he began “he was drinking before we linked up. Had I known he was drinking prior to him getting behind the wheel of my shit I would have never allowed it. He’s been going through shit lately, but to be honest I didn’t think it was deep enough for his to keep a bottle on him and try to sip even when behind the wheel. He had no regard for my life or his, I’ve never seen a look like that in his eyes before.” He stopped and looked at me he was truly perplexed about what occurred tonight.

I took in what he said and my blood began to boil “What’s your name?” I spat with venom. It as if he was trying to shift blame to his mans without accepting responsibilities for his wrong doings in the situation. It ain’t hard to tell when somebody’s been drinking, why would you even put yourself in that predicament. Something in the water ain’t clean I just didn’t have all the facts yet. 

He instantly felt the mood shift “Beau Wade” he said, his voice with much more strength than it had before.

“Well Beau I don’t like you and you better hope Dutch fully recovers from this if not I got a bullet for you and I got one for your mans too.” I said calmly and coolly looking in square in the eyes. I’m deadass. I needed him to know where I stood from the beginning we will never be cool and could never become friends. He’s irresponsible and dingy as hell. I could never see myself forgiving him for not only putting Dutchess’ life in the cross hairs of death, but his own and the driver. 

He looked at me and smirked like he knew something that I didn’t and it irked me. Just as I was about to swing on his butter pecan lookin’ ass for being a smartass the Dr. walked in.

“Hi, I was just coming in to check on Ms. Blake’s vitals and see how she’s adjusting.” He came in walking around me checking her all beeping machines, seeing her with a tube in her mouth crushed me and reinforced the hate that I felt for this man sitting inches from me. Aside from the few scratches and bruises on him he looked perfectly fine nothing a little ice couldn’t fix, he had some dried blood on his shirt from his wounds, but a fresh t-shirt could fix that too. Here he was sitting up and breathing perfectly fine while my baby is laid up in that bed helpless. As bad as I wanted to swing on his toffee colored ass I had to be strong and keep my composure for Dutch. I’ll have plenty of time to beat that ass, he ain’t going nowhere I reminded myself with certainty.

“I’m going to go down and grab some coffee,” I said aloud not particularly to anyone just to let them know I’ll be back in no time so don’t try no funny shit.

“And you,” I turned back directing my attention back to Beau, fuck kind of name is Beau anyway I thought to myself “don’t even think about going anywhere” I said sternly.

He surprised me when replied back, “I don’t plan on leaving her side,” he said while looking back at Dutchess, resting so peacefully in the bed next to him. I saw regret and longing in his eyes when he looked at her. When said he wasn’t leaving her side he meant just that. The way he said it didn’t sit well with me but I shook it off and proceeded to head out to Dunkin Donuts down the block.

As soon as I made my way downstairs I reached in my purse and took out my phone, lighter and pre-rolled joint. I unlocked my phone and searched for Autumn’s number as I lit my joint and proceeded to walk to the store.

After three rings she finally answered “Yo” she said groggily “we making drops earlier today?” she said already in work mode, I could hear her shuffling on the other end which meant she was ready to hop out the bed and go if need be. That made me smile; my team was always bout getting to that paper.

“No” I said taking a long drag from my joint letting it hit me. God knows I need to feel something because since I’ve seen Dutch lying motionless in that stale ass hospital bed I’ve been void of all emotions except anger and blind rage.

“Dutch got hit by a drunk driver last night, she’s at Mount Sinai” I said venom lacing my voice thinking about her being there. 

“Oh my god! I’m on my way,” she said frantically.

“Aight ma, I’ll be waiting out in front for you,” I told her as I hung up and finished my J stepping on the clip with my timb just as I walked up to Dunkin Donuts. Now I’m high and hungry as fuck, bout to get one of everything on the menu like a true fat nigga would.

  Beau

4:45 a.m.

My eyes fluttered open and I slowly took in my surroundings, the piercingly bright lights, pristine white walls and the constant bustle just outside the oak door confirmed my suspicion. I’m in the hospital, last night really did happen. As bad as I wanted this to be a bad dream this shit was real I’m still dumbfounded as to how it even happened in the first place.

“Oh good your awake” the Dr. said as he walked into my room.

“How long have I been out?” I asked groggily my voice coming out more hoarse than I expected.

“Not long and lucky for you have minor injuries just some scrapes and bruises that’ll be gone in weeks to come you can, whenever you get your things in order I have the forms here for you to sign so you can checkout” he said.

“Cool cool, how’s Riley?” I blurted out anxiously.

“He’s got a broken arm and a few scratches, but he’ll make a full recovery. He’s currently sleeping off the alcohol in his system, but when he wakes you can head down the hall to see him.” He turned to walk out, but turned back and looked at me with an unreadable face. I instantly thought back to the night events and it hit me. I closed my eyes and asked, “Did he hit something?”

“Someone, he hit someone. A young woman” He said solemnly.

My heart sank not only did Boogz’s reckless ass put my life and his in danger, but he put an innocent life in the mix. “Is she…?” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. If she was dead I couldn’t live with myself. How could I let this shit get so out of hand? I mentally kicked myself.

“No, by the grace of God she pulled through her surgery and it looks as if she’ll make a full recovery,” his voice began to trail “but at the current moment she is suffering from two broken legs and four broken ribs.”

 I cringed as he finished telling me the extent of her injuries, shorty was fucked up and the fact that I was partly to blame for it, it ate at me slowly.

“Can I see her?” I asked with urgency.

“I’m not allowed to release her information to you,” he huffed; fuck all that he was giving up that info.

“I didn’t ask you all that, can I see her now, please.” I said with assertiveness. I wasn’t taking no for any answer and he could tell by my tone that my mind was set on seeing her. He could help me or I could tear this bitch a part brick by brick until I find her. I don’t have time for his bullshit ethics or politics I had to see her and he was going to take me me. From the time he told me she existed I was drawn to her.

He let out an exasperated sigh “Let’s go.”

___

“Just be quiet she’s sleeping and needs as much rest as possible” he said smugly before nodding me in the direction of her room and continuing on to the rest of his shift. I heeded his words as I slowly made my way.

My eyes were met with the sight of a fairly slim, brown skin woman with monitors beeping around her and the loud sound of her breathing with the respirator tube. I instantly felt like the shit I am for helping her get there.

“I’m so sorry” I whispered to her as I made my way closer to her side. Even with the minor scrapes on her face she was flawless. I mean drop dead gorgeous and it made me a little uncomfortable. Why is she so damn pretty though? Her layered hair fanned out around her, some of it framing her face while other waves flowed out on her pillow. Her skin had a glow to it even with the given circumstance. I wanted to badly touch her bruised bottom lip and make it disappear, her lips are too juicy to have a flaw on them.  I don’t know what brought it about, but I couldn’t stop myself from reaching down and touching her face. I used my thumb to lightly trace her bottom lip and some of the scratches on her face.

“You might not be able to hear me, but in the event you can just know I’m not going anywhere.  I promise you that I’ll be with you every step of this recovery process. Riley and I both, I’ll be there when you hate me, when you don’t like me, and when you don’t want to even look at me I'll still be here. I can’t allow myself to allow you to go through this without me. When times get to an all time low, I’ll be there.” I said while absentmindedly stroking her cheek. I felt her stir under my touch and instantly drew my hand back hoping she would wake up, but to no avail.

Instead I pulled up the seat next to her and held her hand. I began talking to her; it was like I had word vomit and talking to her was the only medication I could take to cure it, even if the conversation was one sided at the moment.

I heard a knock on the door indicating our little heart to heart moment was over. More like our heart to heart hour and a half. Somehow I knew we wouldn’t have many more moments alone anytime soon especially since one of the nurses said she got in contact with someone from Dutchess’ family.

  Autumn 

7:00 a.m.

I had no time to think or process what I had been told by Nami. How could this happen? Rolling out of bed hustling to the bathroom with my phone still in hand. I told Siri to call Nas while I started brushing my teeth, but he sent me straight to voicemail. Now was not the time for this nigga to want to act up. I knew he wasn’t a morning person, but fuck all that I dialed him again.

“Fuck you calling me so early fuh?” He said answering the phone in a huff on the second ring, his country twang mixed with sleep and animosity made me chuckle.

“Fuck is so funny?” he said getting agitated “You called me to play games or you calling me bout a job?” He said turning his attention straight to business.

“No I’m calling you to tell you that I’ll be outside in 10 mins we’re going to the hospital,” I said as calmly as I could, but internally my nerves are all over the place.

“The hospital?” He spoke confused.

“Yeah, Dutch got hit by a drunk driver last night and shit is bad. Nami is already there, she sounds hella stressed son.” I said cutting him off.

“Say no more imma tell this nigga A to meet me at the crib and we’ll all go together” he said breathlessly, I could hear him already hopping out of bed.

“Bet” I said hanging up the phone as I ran through my room like a tornado grabbing everything I needed and shoving it into my bag. I have not a clue as to how long we’ll be at the hospital so I had to be prepared. I grabbed a blunt from my top drawer and put it in my mouth as I grabbed my bag, shut off the light and headed downstairs. Normally I’d just hop on my bike, but with everything going on I felt that taking out one of my whips was necessary.

After choosing one I hopped in and peeled out of my garage to pick up Nas and A.

___

 “We got here as soon as we could Nami,” I said as we approached her while she was fucking her bacon, egg and cheese up. High ass nigga.

“Damn fat nigga you gon’ share some or you just gon’ stuff your face?” Nas asked while reaching for her bag of food being the greedy nigga he is.

Instead of arguing with him or snapping at him Nami surprised us all by allowing him access to her food. Nami didn’t play around with her food so the fact that she didn’t black on him for even making an attempt at her food meant that shit was intense.

All she did was grab her cup of coffee since Nas’ greedy ass passed the rest of the food to Aaron and turned inside the hospital leading the way to Dutch. Any other time Nami would have cussed me out and called me every name in the book for telling Nas and telling him to come with me, but I didn’t know whom else to call. The two of them can fight like cats and dogs, I’ve even seen them go blow for blow on a few occasions, but for the life of me I couldn’t put my finger on what brought about the anger between them. He and Aaron really care about Dutch and wouldn’t wish any harm to come to her not to mention we’ve all worked side by side for the past 4 years how could I not tell them?

“How bad is it?” Aaron asked Nami while stuffing his mouth full of her sausage, egg white and cheese flatbread as the elevator dinged signaling that we had reached our destination.

“4 broken ribs and two broken legs” she sighed as I gasped.

“So that means she can’t ride any more?” Nas asked thoroughly concerned while wiping crumbs away from his mouth. This shit can’t be happening.

Nami looked at the floor fighting tears as she nodded her head. I instantly put my arms around her as she continued to lead the way. “Looks that way,” she finally said.

“Don’t let this get you down Nami we’re here and we’re going get through this together,” Aaron said with so much compassion and assurance, but I could see the fire in his eyes clear as day. He was pissed. Shit I would be too; Dutchess is his best worker even though she didn’t really work for him. Neither did we, we had a mutually beneficial understanding. He and Dutch came up with the idea to have a delivery service, anything someone needs delivered we do just that. 

On a strictly confidential basis no one actually knows what they’re delivering until you get it from the client. From that point the anonymity of what’s in the package stays between the client and the deliverer. I know I’ve personally delivered damn near everything from narcotics to precious gems to top of the line sports car.  So I can only image the type of shit Dutch delivers because she’s the best at what she does. People will pay top dollar to have their shit delivered and if it’s done properly in a discreet manner you can guarantee they’ll keep coming back. Our circle is tight, but it’s for the best, bread can only be broken so many ways.

Walking into Dutch’s room I saw a light skinned man sitting by the side of her bed holding her hand completely oblivious to our presence in the room. All his attention was focused on Dutch as he ran him thumb over the back of her hand with care.

“Nigga who you?” Nas said being the rude nigga that he is finally letting our presence be known, but asking what we all wanted to know. His head snapped in our direction, but the hold he had on Dutch’s hand didn’t slack nor did the stroking of his thumb against the back of her hand.  

“Oh that’s Beau” Nami said emphasizing his name chuckling bitterly as she sipped from the cup of coffee in her hand before he could open his mouth “he was in the car that hit Dutch.” The air in the room instantly got thick and all eyes were fixed on him. I knew shit was about to hit the fan.

Girl where are you!? I need this update.

Hey love I'm back! My man and I took a mini vacay for a few days and I only took my ipad so I couldn't type like I wanted to. I will be updating tonight though. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

On my way..

Ch. 3 Pt. 1 | Noncompliance

Dutchess

Mount Sinai Hospital

8:15 a.m.

“Ms. Blake you sure you’re making the best decision? Are you sure you’re not letting the sedatives speak for you?” One of the detectives asked me in complete disbelief.

Once the Dr. gave word to the detectives that I was conscious and able to answer questions they quickly came in with their notepads out ready to ask me if I remembered anything from the accident. I’ve never been a fan of NYPD so even if it was for my own benefit I wasn’t being compliant.

“Yes, I’m completely sure. I want all charges dropped against all parties responsible for the accident,” I told him never failing to break eye contact.

“Are you deadass right now?” Nami asked openly sharing her disgust and disbelief to those in the room. I could feel her burning a whole in the side of my face, but I’m not budging. I have to stand firm in what I feel is right.

“These niggas almost ended your shit, got you in this bitch handicap and you’re letting them walk!” Nami growled in disbelief.

“Baby how can you be okay with this? They’ve taken so much from you and you’re letting the shit rock,” I could see the tears brimming in her eyes, but I wasn’t budging.

 As hard as it is for me to let go of their careless mistakes, holding onto them would personally do me no good. Being bitter or vindictive isn’t going to get me to ride and deliver any sooner; it isn’t going to lessen the pain in anyway so why harbor that kind of hate?

Nami is quick to forget I’m running my own multi-million dollar illegal delivery service. Fuck I look like cooperating with the cops for anything? She's buggin. I get it they want what’s best, but I can’t risk them snooping around in my shit, Nami and the cops alike.

Ignoring her rant and the detective’s smartass comment, “Yeah I’m sure. I want any and all charges dropped. I’ve got enough on my plate, worrying about this is more than I need right now.” I told him curtly.

I heard Nami scoff and watched him nod his head, “Well here’s my card, give me a call when you change your mind,” he said very sure of himself and sure of my phone call.

“That won’t be necessary, I won’t be calling,” I said matching his tone dismissing him.

Before he got out the room I called to him, “Can you send my Dr. in your way out” I said with a smile full of blatant disrespect.

“I don’t fucking get you yo! How are you just okay with this?” Nami said as she let the tears freely stream down her face now that we’re alone.

“How you gonna explain this to Nas and A? They damn near beat that nigga to a bloody pulp and now you finna just let him go?” her voice was so exasperated and strained.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I closed it. How do I explain this to her and have her fully understand where I’m coming from? I can’t expect Nami to sympathize with me or relate because she’s not me and will never be able to rationalize my standpoint.

 As far as Nas and Aaron nobody told them to go play sergeant and captain save a bitch. I can fight my own battles and once again they’ve gone and done some reckless shit. I’ll deal with them later.

 “Ms. Blake I’m glad you’re awake and speaking,” the Dr. walked in interrupting my thoughts and the conversation. I silently thanked him.

 “You’re doing extremely well, how are you feeling?” he asked while reading over my charts.

 “My head is pounding and I’m hungry,” I told him and laughed, while he chuckled along with me. Nami rolled her eyes and shook her head.

 “How can you laugh at a time like this?” Nami said seething. I hated seeing her hurt, but if I didn’t laugh than her anger would be contagious and my thirst for blood would reawaken.

 The Dr. straightened up, “Ms. Blake for the next three months you’ll be on bed rest. Both of your legs have been broken, thankfully it was a clean break so the recovery process should be smooth, your bones should be reconnecting in no time. You will need assistance around the clock during your recovery process.” he paused letting me process what he was telling me.

 “You also have four broken ribs, the 6th, 7th, 11th and 12th. That adds an additional six to eight weeks to your recovery time.” He said finally letting it all sink in.

I have so many thoughts running through my mind, but none of which I cared to share with him. “Continue” I told him. 

“We’d like to keep you here for the week to run some tes—“ 

“Nah you good son, I’m ready to go now,” I said cutting him off before could finish his statement.

“Ms. Blake as strong as you feel mentally, physically your body just isn’t up to it. Your body needs to rest and recuperate” he said rationally.

“I completely understand that and I thank you for your concern, but I can get all my rest at home, in my bed instead of this stale ass hospital bed” I said smirking “ I also can have my own personal Dr. and nurse take care of me 24/7 if I need them. So if you have to airlift me out this bitch I’m going home tonight.”

“Ms. Blake, please think about your health,” the Dr. warned.

“That’s my only concern. Now please go work on my release forms and my medications” I said finally.

He huffed and walked away.

“You’re something else you know that?” Nami said chuckling and running her hand through her curls. Something she did when nervous.

“I know baby, but you love me though. Where’s everybody?” I asked her while looking around the empty room. After all the commotion they all scattered like roaches.

“Autumn went to go sit in the car with Nas and A. After they beat Beau’s ass they were bandaged up then escorted out of the hospital,” she said.

“Beau?” I asked confused. Did I miss something? She throwing names at me like I know people.

“He was in the car that hit you. He’s been sitting in your room since you got out of surgery and when we walked in and saw him too comfy by your side Nasir and A spanked that ass” she said excited. Her bird ass.

“Damn that’s crazy” was all I could come up with. Seeing her so excited about the pain inflicted on him was unsettling. She dead is showing all 32 teeth right now speaking about the ass whoopin’ Nas and A gave the man.

“I’m hungry,” I said completely changing the subject. She went on to say something, but I tuned her out my mind is somewhere else. I don’t want to deal with the bullshit right now, I’m still trying to process bed rest for 3 months what the fuck am I going to do for 3 FUCKING MONTHS! Everything I’ve always done has been on the go now that the option is completely taken from me I’m lost. 

“Baby you heard me?” Nami said break me from my thoughts.

“Nah wassup?” I said giving her my attention.

“I said when we get home I can cook a nice meal for all of us and we can all just get some sleep” she suggested.

“Sounds good baby, I’m gonna call you Nurse Nami from now on” I said as she giggled and leaned over to kiss me. Her soft lips melted into mine and I felt a sense of relief wash over her. 

“What am I gonna do with you?” she said using her finger to trace my bottom lip. 

“We’re gonna be okay,” I said with certainty as I heard the door opening. I could tell it was something she need to hear.

“I’ve got your release forms and your prescriptions” my Dr. came in saying.

“Don’t you move fast?” I said excitedly as I looked at the forms in his hand.

Beau

Mount Sinai

10 a.m.

“You sure this the room bruh?” Jay asked as he wheeled me into Dutchess’ room. This wheelchair shit is not where it’s at, but if I shift my body to much everything hurts then goes completely numb.

 “This is 432 right?” I asked Boogz making sure we’re in the right room. Cause apparently he be forgetting shit easily nowadays.

 He went to the door and checked, “yeah this is, but this shit has been wiped clean. The bedding hasn’t even been touched,” Boogz pointed out as he walked over to inspect the fresh bedding. The room looked like it had been wiped clean, no traces of anyone having been here.

 “I’m not buggin’ she was here, maybe they moved her to another room after the fight. Come on let’s go check a few rooms,” I suggested.

 She had to be here it’s not like she can up and walk outta here. We scanned all the rooms on her floor until we came across her Dr.

 “Well look who’s still meddling around” her Dr. mocked as he walked up to me, someone’s salty.

 “I could have lost my job for that little stunt you pulled,” he said. To be honest I don’t like his tone or attitude he lucky I’m in this chair right now.

 “Fuck all that, where’d you move her to?” I asked him ignoring the bullshit he was talkin’.

 He scoffed, “she was released.”

 “So soon?” I asked confused.

 “Yep she asked to be released to her private Md. so I granted her wishes,” he stated, before walking in the opposite direction ending the conversation.

 Wow she wasted no time.

 “Damn, shorty got the fuck outta here quick for someone with two bad legs,” Jay said aloud, reading my mind.

 “How are we supposed to find her now?” Boogz asked me while scratching his head.

Damn I didn't expect her to get up outta here so soon, I hoped that I'd at least get her phone number or shit an e-mail address, at this point a nigga is desperate. I can't just let her go that easily. Hanging my head and trying to think of ways I could possibly find her, I'm coming up blank.

"Maybe it's for the best," Boogz blurted out while still scratching the back of his head.

I furrowed my eyebrows confused when I looked at him, "what you mean?"

"I mean now that's she's gone maybe it's for the best that she's out of our lives for good. Now we don't owe her anything, she dropped all charges against us so legally we're free to move on with our lives," he looked at me with all seriousness in his eyes.

"You disgust me, get the fuck outta my face with that bullshit. I can't even believe that just came out your mouth!" I barked at him from my chair making everyone turn around and stare. But to be honest no fucks are given after the bullshit he just said.

"Yo I'm gonna give you a pass and blame it on the amnesia homie because the Riley I know would never say no fuck shit like that" Jay said backing me up and trying to diffuse the situation before it got ugly.

Him throwing out govs which meant shit was serious. Jay's the peacemaker between between Boogz and I, it's been that way for years. Because Boogz is the youngest the nigga can be impulsive and reckless, Jay has always been the one to catch him before shit got too out of hand. 

"This is shit YOU caused, NOBODY would have been here if YOU didn't put us here don't forget that shit when you wanna be so quick to run from the consequences of your actions," I quickly reminded him. This nigga must be stupid if he thinks we're giving up that easy on finding Dutchess. 

"You right my fault, I'm trippin'" Boogz said nooding his head, but I could tell there was more h wanted to say. I'll drop it for now cause if the nigga says some slick shit I'm gonna bust a stitch and proceed to lay hands on him.

Looking around the room everyone has went back to minding their own business except for one nurse. And as my luck would have it she was the one who came around and checked Dutchess' charts periodically.

“Jay don’t make it hot, but that nurse behind you. The thick one ” I said to him making him turn his attention on her. She been eyeing Jay since we got on this floor, but unlike Jay she had tact about scoppin'.

 “Damn that bitch is badder that a 2 year old,” Jay said a little to loud because she shook her head and rolled her eyes at Jay in particular as she made her way towards the elevator. I swear I can’t take his black ass nowhere.

I sucked my teeth and continued; “nigga she was Dutchess’ nurse and the only one that might be able to get any contact info for her. Don’t fuck this up.”

“Nigga, shush!” he said like somebody’s old country grandma, I’m trying so hard to keep from laughing at how serious he got.

Let me work,” he said waving me off then damn near sprinting to catch up with her as she walked into the elevator.

Boogz and I both had to bust out laughing as we watched the door close behind them. “He wasn’t even low” Boogz said in between laughs.

"Yeah whatever nigga," I said to myself something is off about this nigga Boogz and I need to know what before I can laugh and break bread with him again.

I like so far. Smdh at Boogz. Can't wait to see where you take this. :) peep you using my baby Tremaine!

My nigga, Boogz..

Idk what to tell you, he was mad hot boy. He was living for the moment and now he’ll have to pay the consequences for his actions. Whether they be good or bad. I’m glad you’re rocking with me :). 

Nami and Aaron are foul! That's all I have to say. With Nas catching feelings, and Beau getting into the mix (when and if he makes it there) and then there's still Nami, this is going to be interesting. Good chapter

Giiirl,

Idk what to tell you about Nas and his damn feelings, but his stupid ass might just be catching ‘em. And to be honest I’m not sure that’s the best chess move he could make, but let the chips fall where they may.

Nami…..Aaron…..