How To Ask Her To Become A Slutwife

Love it when they are vocal in their enjoyment.

Damn… I will masturbate for that

Interesting stats

Survey - Getting to Know the Cuckold

In April of 2011 I created a survey (using Surveymonkey.com tools) intended to gather data on men who self-identified as cuckolds. This survey ran for 8 weeks and was advertised on my website, on Facebook, via Twitter and on specific Cuckolding websites such as Jinxypie.com and Hotwifelife.com. The response rate was excellent, with 486 men participating from all over the world. And while a multitude of countries were represented, just over half of majority of those who participated live in the United States. The intention of doing this work was to contribute to the body of knowledge on the practice of Cuckolding and to determine if there are any common characteristics shared by men who are attracted to this lifestyle. To ensure the questions accurately targeted the real-life experiences of cuckolds, I constructed this survey in consultation with Steve, an American who has been previously been a cuckold himself. While he does not live as a cuckold in his current relationship, it remains an ongoing source of arousal for him and his advice on the type of questions that are relevant to an erotic interest in Cuckolding were of great value. In a Cuckolding relationship the wife has sex outside of her marriage with her husband’s knowledge, while he remains faithful to her. The husband is known as a cuckold or cuck for short and he does not take lovers himself, instead his sexual pleasure and gratification is derived from the existence of his partner’s relationships. There are all sorts of variations in how these relationships operate and what involvement the husband may have, ranging from simply hearing about it from his wife, to input in the selection of her lovers, helping her prepare for a date, watching during sex, participating as directed, or by providing some type of sexual service to the wife and her lover. According to the results of this survey, the so-called ‘typical’ cuckold is a very well-educated, white man in his thirties or forties who lives in the United States. He earns well above the average wage and is most likely to be in a long term relationship or first marriage. He does not have self esteem issues and considers himself an alpha male with an average sized penis. Despite that, he enjoys being sexual humiliated and in particular may enjoy penis humiliation. He is most commonly sexually submissive to his wife and he enjoys the loss of control and responsibility being in this space offers. His enjoyment in loss of agency and control is fulfilled by having little or no choice in how his wife expresses herself sexually. He is likely to have been initially drawn to Cuckolding by arousal experienced at the idea of his wife having sex with another man, and his lust and passion for his wife is increased after she has been with another man, a response say researchers into the male brain caused by the stimulation of mating hormones. He is also most likely to be bisexual or at least bi-curious, whether he articulates that to his partner or not. Cuckolds report having sex with their wives in roughly the same number as the population surveyed in the Kinsey Reports, which is at odds with a general perception that they are denied marital sex. However they consider themselves to need more mental, visual and aural stimulation than other men and say they enjoy masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex. 17th June, 2011 Angela Lewis, PhD Steve, anonymous cuckold AGE Cuckolds who responded to this survey were fairly widely and evenly spread across all age groups. The largest number were found in the 30-49 year bracket and either side of this, men 50-60 years old and men 21-29 years old, were to be found in roughly equal numbers.

ETHNICITY AND NATIONALITY Cuckolds were most commonly Caucasian (at 91.1%) and at 55%, the most represented nationality was American.

There was a large gap numbers-wise to the second highest nationality represented, with Britain and Canada tying at 6%, followed by the Germans in third place at 4%. The table below goes down to a 0.4% representation, and a diverse range of nationalities were present under this figure, but the numbers were too low to register any significant value. Some of those countries included in small numbers were Estonia, Poland, Turkey, Portugal, Norway and Scotland.

EDUCATION Men who identified as cuckolds in this survey were well educated. For example, a total of 83% of respondents had some form of college/university education and 19.5% of those had completed post graduate studies such as an MBA or PhD.

INCOME Reported income levels tended to be fairly high (Given the average American wage is said to be around $35,000), with 48.8% of the men earning over US$50,000 per annum and just over one third, at 30.6%, earning over US$100,000.

INDUSTRY SECTOR 47.3% of the men were employed in the white collar (private or government) sector, which explains the high income levels. The other sectors were all represented, but in much low numbers and the number of men who were retired, students or unemployed were extremely low.

RELATIONSHIPS Unsurprisingly, given that a Cuckolding relationship is based on the existence of a primary traditional husband/wife dynamic, 87.3% of the men were living with their significant others and a majority of 77% were married.

How Long in Current Relationship Cuckolding relationships appeared to be durable and long term, as most of the men were in them for 11 plus years. The second highest number of cuckolds were in the group married 0-5 years, so we might assume that there is space and time for the couples to partake in cuckolding early in the relationship—say before c***dren come along—and then again later after have and are raising young c***dren, perhaps explaining why the lowest number of cuckolds were in relationships of a 6-10 year duration.

Most of the cuckolds were in their first marriage and close to a third were in their second marriage.

We were interested to know if cuckolding was present in the men’s previous relationships, however for the majority, their current Cuckolding relationship is their first. If you take into account that many are in long term relationships with their partners, this would confirm 9.3.3% agreeing with the statement: Happy and successful Cuckolding couples are able to separate love from sexual desire. Nearly one third (25%) of practicing cuckolds have been in a previous Cuckold relationship, so for these men it is likely an openness to the possibility of Cuckolding was a factor when seeking a prospective new long-term partner.

THE PRIVATE CUCKOLD SELF Asked to choose a response to this statement: “I’m an alpha male and I enjoy the loss of control that Cuckolding gives me,” 64% gave a positive response, making comments about how Cuckolding offered a way to take a step out of how they usually lived their lives and how it temporarily released them from a position of control:

Being temporarily absolved from responsibility, for my performance, for her pleasure, in fact having no control even if I wanted it, is incredibly freeing. I like the idea of having no choice, from being the guy always in charge to being the guy who is told to lick the other guy’s jizz, it freaks me out and excites me. Allowing others to make decisions for a while is relaxing. I love giving the gift of male sexual dominance to my wife. Not having a choice in their partner’s behaviour was rated as exciting by 65.7% of respondents. As cuckold Steve explains, this is also tied in with the humiliation factor that many cuckolds crave.

76.2% of the men described themselves as sexually submissive with their wives and a further 15%, while not submissive, found the idea attractive. Only 8.8% had no interest in being sexually submissive. Some comments made included: It gives me a freedom I don’t have when I’m expected to be sexually dominant. We both enjoy being submissive, so we try to take turns with each other. I like the loss of choice. Are you sexually submissive with your wife?

65% said their partners tended to be dominant in all aspects of the relationship, and when asked the question: “Do feel inferior to your wife?” exactly half said they did not feel inferior on any level to their female partners, while the other 50% considered themselves inferior to their wives in some fashion. Given the submissive nature of Cuckolding, it would be a fair guess that the men who do not consider themselves inferior consciously chose a role of inferiority/submission as part of their sexual persona, and are not victims of circumstance. Taking into account the high percentage of men who consider themselves alpha males, it is probably not surprising that only 8% nominated themselves as intellectually inferior. My fellow researcher, cuckold Steve suggests that the 20% who nominated being physically inferior would be alluding to their genitals and not to their physical stature. If you take into account that 36% of the men said they were attracted to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having a small penis, coupled with the fact that sexual humiliation was nominated as attractive to 55% of respondents, this would seem like a fair assumption.

The Cuckold’s Sex Life Based on the responses I recorded, cuckolds have regular sex with their partners in proportion to population averages as rated by the Kinsey Institute. While figures do vary widely according to which reports are consulted, I have chosen to compare my data to that collected by the respected research body, The Kinsey Institute (www.kinseyinstitute.org.) Using the Kinsey data for comparative purposes, I averaged the number of married men aged between 25—69 who were tabled as not having had sex in the past year and arrived at a figure of 20.7%. There is a perception that cuckolds do not have sex with their wives, however when you compare this to the figure of 19.8% reported by the cuckolds in this survey, there is not a big differentiation between the general population and cuckold men. Similarly, 38.8% of married men between the ages of 24—69 in the Kinsey data had sex a few times per month to weekly and this correlates fairly closely to the 45.1% who said they had sex 1-3 times per month in this survey group.

Over half the men supported the statement that a Cuckoldress should practice sexual denial with her husband and this supports a theory that loss of control and agency make the idea of Cuckolding attractive to many cuckolds. As well, anecdotally another reason men who are drawn to Cuckolding support sexual denial is because they believe or want to believe that that they are not able to sexually satisfy their women (primarily because they believe their penis is adequate) and/or because they have a preference for living vicariously through the experiences of the wife’s lovers or through the fantasy of the wife’s sexual affairs. To me, the hottest thing about Cuckolding is when my wife talks me off [re-tells her sexual exploits] It is understood that my pay-off for being what she calls ‘a good little cuck’ is in hearing about it. Hearing her moaning in the other room while I wait outside the door until she finishes with her Bull is totally hot for me. Nothing hornier than receiving a text during the night to say: I have just been fucked. This probably also explains why 82.3% of the men said they believed cuckolds need more aural and mental stimulation than the average man and that 66.9% of the men surveyed said they enjoyed masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex, using the a primary fantasy of the Cuckoldress wife having sex with other men. A Cuckold wife should practice sexual denial with her husband:

WHY CUCKOLDING The men were asked to select all the factors which led them to Cuckolding. With the highest response rate at 82.8%, the major drawcard for the men was arousal caused by the thought of seeing their wives with other men; and the ‘my private porn star’ response—while not a politically correct one—was alluded to by a number of men. However to be fair, it would have to be said that anecdotally the fantasy of a wife with other men is not limited to men interested in Cuckolding.

The second most popular factor was an enjoyment of sexual submissiveness, at 61.9%. This one is interesting, as culturally men are expected to be the aggressors and being permitted a submissive role in a so-called vanilla relationship is not that common, instead it is most often labelled a BDSM practice. For men (and couples) who do not see themselves as belonging to the BDSM community, it may be difficult to frame ways for the man to be submissive; however Cuckolding does provide that opportunity. The majority of cuckolds are self-assertive and describe themselves as an alpha male, holding a socially dominant position, whether in the workplace by wealth or earning power or through being highly educated. They generally know their place in the world and it is not a submissive one. However when it comes to sex they enjoy the taboo, novelty and ‘letting go’ that being the submissive partner promises: There is no question I’m a powerful guy in real life, therefore sitting in women’s underwear outside the door waiting while some guy pleasures her is so quirky, so different to who I usually am, that I get off on the idea of that ‘other me’ being so pussy whipped. At 55%, just over half of the men rated the opportunity for sexual humiliation as a factor which attracted them to Cuckolding. Sexual humiliation falls under the definition of masochism, as it is seeking pain in some form and taking sexual pleasure from it. Interestingly, according to Baumeister (1988) rather than pathologising it, masochism should be seen simply an unusual way to take a ‘time out’ from the pressures of life, and in his words is ‘an escape from self and self awareness’, in the same way that others might take up mediation or exercise. The majority of men who took this survey described themselves as alpha males (see Self Image), as well as being well educated and earning good salaries in white collar occupations; therefore fit Baumeister’s description of individuals who use sexual masochism as a way to temporarily give up the control and responsibility that they carry in their day to day lives. In relation to humiliation, comments were made that creampies (specifically the ejaculate of the wife’s lovers on her genitals which the husband is permitted to see, touch or consume but can also be on the face, mouth or breasts), were a powerful attraction, and on reflection it would have been beneficial to have included a line of questioning on this interest. However as nearly one third of respondents said that a desire to explore bisexuality was what attracted them to Cuckolding to begin with; the desire to interact with other men’s sexual fluids in this manner could be a way for some men to express homo-erotic desires, plus for some who may be wrestling with the idea of bisexuality, enjoying this on the wife’s body may legitimise it and remove the practice from being framed as homosexual—a type of bisexuality by proxy as it were. I believe we were also remiss in not including an option for ‘pleasing my wife’, as a factor for being attracted to Cuckolding. We made the assumption that the men were only motivated by their own sexual desires, however there were a number of voluntary comments made by the men which related to a desire to please their partners: I just love seeing her live her true sexual passion. Sexual freedom for my wife boosts her confidence. My wife loves being dominant and I’m man enough to let her express it. I enjoy seeing her enjoy getting pleasured. Penis/Small Penis Humiliation The men were also asked if they enjoyed small penis humiliation, taken to mean having derogatory remarks made about their size, length, girth and their ability to satisfy a woman sexually or being compared to men who were more endowed. While 29% had no interest in it, the remaining 71% were attracted to having this experience to some degree. Cuckolds do appear to have a strong interest in the penises of other men, particularly big penises, so this could mean that even those men with average size penises fantasize about their wives being with larger men than they are. Given the interest that cuckolds have in interracial cuckolding, both anecdotally and evidenced by the large number of websites offering material that focuses specifically on wives with black lovers, this is may not be an unreasonable conclusion. For this survey we used the generally accepted penis size for Caucasian men: Small (under 5 inches long) Average (5-7 inches long) Large (over 7 inches long)

The common assumption around cuckolds is that they must have a small penis and that is is a deciding factor in them being attracted to Cuckolding. However in this survey the majority of cuckolds described themselves to be of average physical endowment. Obviously there is no way of knowing if the responses are true as men do anecodotally overestimate their penis size; however in this case 36% of men said they were drawn to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having as small penis, which is higher than the number who actually identified themsleves in the small penis (5 inches and under) category according to the measurement table. Taking this into account and given the percentage of cuckolds who also nominated an attraction to small penis humiliation (SPH) which again is also far higher than the self-reported figure having a small penis, we would have to consider the men assessed their penis size truthfully. Feedback from cuckolds on what makes penis humiliation (or SPT for short), attractive is interesting in itself. For some cuckolds the fact that they will never have a larger penis means they actually erotize their negative feelings about their perceived inadequacies and appear to turn this around to a plus rather than a negative. For others the taboo act of a woman actually making derogatory remarks about his penis is thrilling precisely because it is not a socially accepted thing to do. Explains one cuckold: I often suggest we watch porno movies with supremely endowed men. This makes my dick look even smaller in comparision and then I fantasise about my little dick next to his and how my wife is probably comparing me to him.

Bisexuality In response to the question, ‘do you consider yourself bisexual?’ 29.2% described themselves as bisexual, 18.4% as bi-curious and 18.1% would like to be f***ed into bisexual behaviour. In total this means that 69.9% of the men have some interest in, or identification with, bisexuality. The high number who would do it if ‘f***ed’ probably speaks a little to the fact that in society generally it is much more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual or lesbian than for a man to be bisexual or homosexual

Some comments made were: I think cucks are lying if they say they are not interested in the other guy’s dicks. We think about how big, how heavy or how long they are, these are all questions swirling around in the mind of the curious cuck. I wish to take my wife’s place. Every now and then she makes me come in and wipe her lover down. What can I say, it is just heaven. Occasionally I am allowed a creampie. Understandably it is only with guys she knows well so we are aware of their sexual history. While an interest in consuming another man’s semen through the act of the creampie is tied to the masochistic experience of humiliation, for many it is openly a way to express their bisexuality. For others it is also entirely possible that wishing to give a wife post-sex oral sex or licking ejaculate from her breasts or body, is a way for some men of framing erotic homosexual desires so that they remain within a heterosexual framework, i.e. between the man and woman.

LIFESTYLE MECHANICS We asked how open couples were with regard to their Cuckold arrangement and perhaps unsurprisingly, couples were very selective about who they told. Given how taboo extra marital sex remains round the world and how few people are familiar with what Cuckolding actually is; this would explain why f****y and close friends were the least likely to be chosen as confidants. However what we consider a fairly high number (at 40.7%), confided in others, who they described as not necessarily f****y or friends, and from that we would infer these are other couples in leading a similar lifestyle. Other people are of course involved by virtue of the fact that the couples need to locate, screen, meet and play with the male lovers, most often referred to as Bulls.

Bulls are located by the tried and true methods of meeting through work, at social venues like pubs and clubs and by advertising on websites that cater to the Cuckolding community. In our survey group a very tiny 9% of the men choose the Bulls, while close to half of the time the wife locates her own sexual partners. As the cuckold generally defers to her when it comes to matters of sex and the Cuckoldress generally holds the sexually dominant role in the relationship, this would be expected; however relationships appear flexible enough to leave room for it being a co-decision when required, given the result that 20% said they looked together and 25% said it was situation dependant.

Where does cuckolding take place? The question of where the actual act takes place unearthed a mixed bag of responses. While the figure of 17.8% (just over one in five men) said their wives had sex with their lovers in the marital bed, that figure is probably higher, given that 54.6% of the men stated it could be any of those venue: the marital bed, in the home or outside of the home.

As Steve explains it, anecdotally there is a strong element of submissive symbolism related to the use of the marital bed, which can be powerfully erotic and stimulating to both cucks and Cuckoldresses. In fact one of the best known amateur pay for view cuckolding sites uses the marital bed to film their exploits for precisely this reason. Given the number of cuckolds who display some interest in bisexuality it also allows a way of expressing their sexual interest in other men by smelling/tasting/feeling the other man without having any direct contact: After they have had sex in our bed I can fall asl**p and imagine I was her. I find it highly erotic to smell their sex on our sheets. It is the ultimate humiliation. What can I say, a stranger, my bed, my wife, I guess it just makes it very real to me. What Sort of Cuckold? We created arbitrary categories of Cuckold and asked the men which they identified with the most. The responses mirrored the reasons for being attracted to Cuckolding in the first place and which are discussed earlier under ‘Why Cuckolding’. We did not create a category of Submissive Cuckold, as we believed that a position of submission is taken in all the categories. There was very only a 1% difference in identifying as a Humiliation or Voyeur cuckold. Given the popularity of Voyeur Cuckold category, this also tends to support why there was such high number (66.9%), of self-reported cuckolds who said they prized masturbation and fantasy above actual sex.

What the Cuckold is Allowed We also asked what role the cuckolds took when the wife was with another man. For the majority of couples it was a case of the wife’s wishes in a given situation. However from the categories we presented of watching, watching/participating and not being present, it is most likely that the wife has sex with other men alone. In terms of what the cuckold enjoys, most cuckolds nominate being humiliated, so it would depend on how humiliating the allowable roles are to him. However most cuckolds report enjoying watching almost equally, so it would seem that if only 15.2% are permitted to watch, their needs are not met in this respect, and perhaps as Steve suggests, this in itself further adds to the cuckolds feelings of humiliation and loss of control.

98.2% of the cuckolds agreed with the statement: ‘The desire and passion for my Cuckoldress is heightened after she has been with another man’. Brizendine (The Male Brain 2010, p.64) refers to this concept as ‘mate guarding’, in which a man’s mating hormones are stimulated by fear of loss and rejection, and this in turn intensifies his feelings of love and passion for his mate.

Embrace your Leader

Take the time to compliment Her (Sincerely)

Make Her day as easy as possible ( be thoughtful)

Listen to Her wants, needs and desires

Learn to do household chores

Complete those chores exactly how She does

Send Her a text at random times telling Her you are thinking of Her

Stop talking and begin Listening

Learn Her body& needs

Put Her feelings first

Communicate

Don’t doubt Her. EVER!

Don’t become lazy in your approach (chase Her)

Learn Her preference in romance

Never ever think with your Dick.

I repeat that. NEVER THINK WITH YOUR DICK

Take care of yourself. ( You are a reflection of Her)

Groom yourself according to Her preference

Be open to change if needed

Be proud of Alpha!!! She is rare and needs to be treated as such!

I am so thankful for my Alpha and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t in some way acknowledge that. Be creative a bath bomb from Lush after Her long day or challenging day goes a LONG way in helping Her relax. Learning housework Her way so when She comes home She doesn’t have the stress of redoing whatever you tried to do. Don’t go overboard in fact make sure it’s genuine , but tell Her how good She looks. When I began showing DAILY this was who I am as a beta husband, She really let go of holding back. Yes by the way, I am also a Alpha Man in the outside of my Wife’s fortress. I realize that a lot of guys want to go straight to asking to chastity and FLR dynamics. But take your time and prove who you are. Then after 90 days or even a 6 month time of being consistent in your discipline approach Her with Chastity and Her taking the Lead. Thank you for reading my post everyone feel free to contact us. Be safe and healthy. beta Tyler

Hotwfe Life

A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle

So you are now one of the millions of women who have learned she has a husband with fantasies about you having sex with other men. Welcome to our club, hopefully you’re past the shock!

Probably, you were quite unaware that a large percentage of men, your husband being one of them, even had these desires. He wants to share you with other men and women and see you enjoy sex with them!

Aren’t you lucky? Feeling excited? A little nervous too?

It’s okay, women too, just like men, want to explore sexually and have fun. How else did “50 Shades” do so well? We all belong to one of the rare species on the planet where sex is not just a reproductive instinct but an integral part of our being, it is an inseparable mix of need and desire and we cannot change that. Why would we want to?

If you are the adventurous open minded type, and you likely are, you are now contemplating doing what he fantasizes about; being able to enjoy the company of other men; their different personalities and conversations, touch, kisses, bodies, their cocks and ways of fucking which will all enhance the wonderful experience that is your marriage and your life! Trust me, I know. I am a Hotwife; a woman being free to enjoy sex with other men with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement.

If you are brave and adventurous enough and you embark down this path, you will find yourself having more fun, happiness and sexual fulfilment than you ever thought. You will be feeling as confident as you did when you were first married and probably find yourself even more in love with your husband and appreciating him more than ever.

Initially, it might take time before you are completely comfortable describing your fantasies to your hubby, having sex in front of him and enjoying dates with other men without him. To begin with, it is important to go slowly and not rush things, you need to check and nurture your relationship first and foremost. Your husband’s approval and peace of mind is fundamental as most men are unaccustomed to actually sharing their wives even if they have fantasied about it. After all, it is against all that society has groomed him to be; he’ll therefore take some time to overcome his instinctive jealousy and become accustomed to watching or knowing you are being intimate with other men without him.

You must help his mind accept and be happy for you being with other men; make the thoughts as pleasurable for him as they are for you. You should regularly and casually talk sexually about men, women too if you are that way inclined, like I am. Talk about your past sexperiences, thoughts and lovers in detail whilst in bed together; never be at all reserved about this, thinking you are protecting his feelings in one way or another. Tell him in detail about your best times and your favourite men; whilst you both are being intimate have him imagine you with them as well as being with men you actually know.

Once your husband is completely comfortable and happy with this, you can gradually move on to actually dating and fucking other men. This really will become quite natural for you both and   providing he never feels neglected, he will let you do anything sexually and will get great sexual satisfaction from your encounters with other men, he will be pleased that you are happy and enjoying. You will discover it will also turn you both on like nothing you’ve ever done before and most importantly, he will be drawn to your womanly sexiness like never before and be more in love with you than at any time in your marriage as your bond strengthens further.

To find your playmates, look at men everywhere, young and old, enjoy looking at them, but don’t always go on looks. Next time you are out shopping or out and about, see if you can find one guy you fancy in some way. If you do, initiate some form of basic conversation. It may be nerve wracking, but do it, you will be happier for it and who knows where it may lead? Visit an adult dating website or a swinger’s club and start interacting with men. Be upfront about your newbie-status and that you’re only dipping your toes at this stage. Get to know some experienced Bulls, most will be more than happy to answer questions and respect your need to explore at your own pace. Try to find men you have a sexual chemistry with, it’s so important. Sexual chemistry isn’t dependent on physical attractiveness. I’ve had sex with many good looking men but felt little to no chemistry with them. The sex was good but it never left me wanting more. In fact, I didn’t care if I never saw them again. Conversely, I’ve slept with men who were more or less average in attractiveness but months later, I find myself daydreaming about them, it’s either there or it isn’t.

The Hotwife lifestyle I can assure anyone that it is a wonderful thing for you and your husband. It takes you away from the routine, like a weekend break or vacation does. You will be intimate with and share another person’s sexuality, looking at a different face and body, hearing a different voice and doing different things with your new lovers that you may not normally do. It will empower you and make you feel different about yourself in a great way. For me, I developed better emotional and physical intimacy with all men, especially my husband, enjoying sex more than ever, making me feel more confident than I ever had done previously.

A husband’s involvement can vary a lot, some Hotwives play completely on their own with no interaction with her hubby, others enjoy their man watching or participating, some do both. All variations on this lifestyle are appropriate, as all couples are unique in what they like, it is up to you. This includes how often the Hotwife dates and or fucks her new male friends. This may be weekly, monthly or just a few times a year, it’s up to you. Remember that open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries and make this lifestyle work for you and your husband. The idea that you are sexy enough to go to another man for your sexual pleasures will drive him crazy with lust for you, trust me! Husbands of Hotwives want to be immersed into their wives’ sexual being completely as they are totally besotted by their wives; they relish the excitement of watching their partner and exploring her sexuality.

After your liaisons with other men, tell him all the intimate details whilst relaxing together, have him stroke himself and imagine you being with your lover whilst you tell him about the event. Don’t hide anything at all, if your lover made you cum with his big cock, say so, hold nothing back at all. This creates a sexually charged experience for you both on a continual basis; this is a special part of the excitement for many couples. A key point when embarking on this lifestyle is that you take control of your sexuality, it revolves around you, the Hotwife, empower yourself within the confines of your happy marriage. So, when you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact way whether he is to be involved or not. If you are having a man over, discuss with your husband him the things he can do to set the tone and create a special night for you both and your lover.

When your lover arrives, things then change; you are his, think about and look after his needs as well as yours. Don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour, everyone knows he’s there for a sexy time. Unashamedly show your desire for the other man, initiate intimacy and even drool over him and make compliments while your husband watches. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him, if you are not alone that is. Treat him like you treated your husband when you first started fucking. Let your naughty slut come out to play with plenty of dirty talk, give him all he wants and experiment a little. Don’t be shy or act inhibited, do anything you want and don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Be sure to let your husband know when you orgasm with your new lover. Continue to pamper your lover exactly as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door. It’s always up to you, you’re the Hotwife, do what turns you on; you are in charge. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting.

After you have been with other men, with your hubby or without him, the next step is very important if you want to keep doing this and ensure your husband is happy supporting your Hotwife lifestyle. So, even if you’re tired, turn all your attention to your husband, become his again, letting him reclaim you as his own as soon as the other man departs. You must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again, making sure he receives the love and pleasure so that he very much desires to watch you do it again and again. Over the next few days, reassure him that you’re his wife forever and remind him that you love the fact that he lets you enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed the time with your lover; replay the night over and over, tell him you can’t wait to do it again and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you.

Emotional attachment with your play dates can and will happen, so be watchful that lines are not crossed. Until you’ve got a better handle on things you should only contact a guy to arrange a date for sexual play. I’ve crossed the line in the past so I’m wary of repeating mistakes, common sense prevails here. . If a guy insists on more contact in between dates because he otherwise feels ‘used’, then I recommend moving on. It doesn’t have to be all clinical either, a little contact and “closeness” between a Hotwife and her playfriends is more than appropriate and in many cases quite essential to build up some excitement before a meet. Even if I haven’t had contact with an out-of-town playmate for months, in the lead up to a date, we’ll exchange quite a few flirty and dirty text messages. There’s nothing like anticipation right? In fact, I would feel a bit weird jumping straight into bed with a guy without stoking the fire first. My husband actually likes building up some excitement and energy before a date so he thinks it’s more than fine to communicate or even see him for a drink or two first.

This lifestyle is about living life to the full, however, you will be unsure at times. What is needed is for you both to take time to acclimatise to this new sexual way of living, so, pause and reflect. Ask yourselves some pertinent questions and then continue living the lifestyle or move on from it, maybe it’s just a break that is required. You must also remember that all women have phases of feeling unsexy and it occasionally takes time and a little effort to lure the sex goddess within you out to play, this is normal. Do not give up or cancel a playdate unless really necessary, persevere and stay on course. Hotwifing in itself is very good for a woman’s self-esteem but unless you feel confident about yourself, you won’t enjoy the experience as much as you should. Pamper and treat yourself to sexy underwear or something that makes you feel good. Men are definitely turned on by happy women. Remember that you are probably your harshest critic so take it easy on yourself.

A word sometimes used to describe husbands in this alternative lifestyle, including mine, is “Stag”. This is a man who shares his woman, but without accepting being treated as a subordinate in any way by his wife and lover. Those who do enjoy this are known as Cuckolds and their activities cross over into the Sado-Masochism (S&M) lifestyle, different to what I’m talking about here. The men who entertain Hotwives (also known as Vixens) are called Bulls or perhaps more realistically, her lovers, playfriends or playdates.

Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your Stag for weeks after he watches or hears about you fucking other men, he will naturally be more attentive and loving than he was before you started being his Hotwife for real, not just in his fantasies. The lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever imagined together, there is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. One life, be happy together!

Benefits of male chastity and etc

Chastity…

If Your husband has asked You lock him in chastity, You may think he is asking you to do some sexually perverted, kinky, thing that You don’t understand and don’t want to understand because it is sick and perverted. The fact is, he is not sick and perverted, he just wants to have fun, sexually.

There was a time in Your marriage when sex was fun and exciting for You, too. Wasn’t there? He just wants to get that back again. He is not asking You to do anything that is difficult, or perverted. He is asking You to play a game with him. A sexual game in which You control when and how he has sex. That’s all. So give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much fun You, Yourself, can have

Chastity is an amazing fetish. Most people think it’s some kind of punishment or chore, but it isn’t. The feelings you receive from abstaining from orgasm are just sublime. Guys feel aroused right up until the point where they orgasm, then everything is reset to zero after orgasm they’re no longer turned on and in order to become even remotely aroused they have to wait again for the feelings to kick in.

Well, what if they didn’t orgasm. What if they didn’t masturbate every evening? What if they abstained from orgasms altogether? Would the feelings of arousal increase and increase? Yes. Yes they would. Which is why chastity is an immensely popular fetish.

Chastity popularity

It is such an intimate act to show trust in his partner for a man to hand over the key to his “crown jewels“ and to allow him to be locked up, to await “HER” pleasure. It is quite surprising that so many people have dabbled with the man wearing a chastity device, and they are the second most often bought sex toys after vibrators.

Chastity - A Joint Decision

For chastity to work well it has to be a joint decision. If you’re both eager to try chastity then the belt or device you choose should also appeal to your wife. It’s no good you buying an expensive belt and she hates the sight of it.

Some women find the transparency of the CB-6000, CB-6000s or the Curve nicely displays the enslaved penis, many would-be keyholders like the quality and hygiene of a stainless steel device. Other women like the thought of the traditional Florentine style belts believing they are more secure.

Others initially prefer to go for something like the Stallion Guard as a low cost device to experiment with before deciding on a more secure belt or cage. There are keyholders who like to allow and see the penis fully erect whilst it’s encased, belts and devices most suited to this concept, known as “penile negation”, include the Samurai and Caterpillar cock cages from Mr S. Neither of these 2 devices can be considered long term wear, however, they’re an ideal purchase as an additional chastity device to your collection, and allow your keyholder the opportunity to employ different techniques of teasing.

Some keyholders love these devices because they relish the sight of a fully erect, straining cock unable to escape.

Chastity and Masturbation

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women.

However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you.

Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.

This isn’t as kinky as it sounds

If your sex life to date has been restricted to intercourse and perhaps mutual masturbation, chastity play can sound like something pretty weird. It isn’t. Nothing has to change about how you make love; what changes is when. The partner who wears the chastity belt has given the partner who has the “key” the ability to decide when sex can take place. Since most chastity devices effectively prevent masturbation, it means one partner gives the other control of all orgasms. This can be a great deal of fun for both people.

Chastity play allows you to take sex out of the bedroom in a subtle way that only the two of you will know. For example, if a woman has her male partner locked up, they can agree on “rules” he should follow, such as “he must always stand when she enters the room.” If when they are out with friends he forgets, she can smile and hold some fingers up and he will know he stays locked up that many more days until he can get release.

If you don’t think this is incredibly hot to both partners, just try it! You won’t believe how exciting a dull relationship can become overnight. Take a few minutes and use your imagination. Fun, huh?

Chastity Devices

Chastity devices have been used throughout the ages in order to prevent sexual intercourse. Classically, chastity has been forced upon someone using a belt type mechanic, but in recent times, more concealable and localized devices are able to be used in order to prevent the ability to touch and interact with sexual organs. In addition to the modern interpretation of how to perform chastity, a sexual fetish has developed. Individuals now enjoy the prospect of being locked up and unable to perform sexual activities unless the other person who’s chastised them allows it.

Chastity and Confinement for Men

Chastity for men is the most common form, with blocks of specially formed plastic being placed around the penis with a small lock attached for keeping it closed. Some male chastity devices make it impossible or highly painful to experience an erection, aiding the experience of being denied sexual pleasure. One major element of chastity is the understanding that eventually, the device will be removed. The sexual fetish is undesirable if the wearer believes that they will never be allowed to experience an orgasm again. As expected, chastity is an exchange of a power dynamic, with one person assuming the role of being in charge and the other being submissive and completely subject to the will of the other person.

Chastity for couples

Male chastity is not just for men, nor is it just for women who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a great deal to gain as well.

Taking control of one small aspect of your relationship - The sex. By utilizing a chastity device, you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may or may not be keen on the idea. If this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and denial to get what you want….it will work.

If you can both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about it. Start out slow and easy. Don’t plan on more than a month or even a week for a trial period. Remember, this is just a trial period. If you don’t like it, don’t get any enjoyment from it, don’t see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always quit.

Couple chastity

If you’re in a committed relationship, but you want to really turn up the heat in your sex play, then chastity could be the answer for you. Many couples engage in chastity as a means of getting back the desire they felt in the early days of their relationship, when they couldn’t wait to have sex, and it lasted for hours not minutes. A time when they were always on each other’s mind.

Chastity is also a choice for many couples when the man has been unfaithful, or has been caught masturbating to internet porn. He may choose chastity as a way to demonstrate his commitment, reassure his partner, and enhance their relationship. This is a precious pledge for any man, and the thought of this alone can be incredibly arousing for both partners.

There is no doubt about it, chastity play results in superior sexual satisfaction! Trying to earn a release, the bottom will be much more attentive to his partner’s needs. Without being distracted by his own selfish wants, his sole focus is pleasuring his Keyholder. He will demonstrate his ability and affection to his partner, going above and beyond in the hope of an ultimate ‘release’.. Remember; the couple that plays together stays together!

Chastity and relantionship

There is no one right way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. Chastity is a challenge well worth undertaking because it can help lead to a transformation of a man’s relationship with his partner. Almost every account of a chastity regimen notes that the man becomes much more attentive to the needs of his partner, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasing to her. The many religious traditions that use chastity/abstinence as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are definitely onto something..

Primary benefits of enforced male

1. It prevents him from masturbating. Male masturbation is a filthy habit. It’s addictive, selfish, and disrespectful to women. Chronic masturbation has the effect of substantially diminishing a man’s natural sexual desire for his wife of girlfriend. It unfortunately teaches him that his orgasm is primary, and hers is secondary.

2. Because he can’t even get an erection without her permission, it instantly changes the dynamics of the relationship.

3. It keeps his sexual focus and energy on his wife or girlfriend.

4. It will substantially increase his desire to orally service his wife or girlfriend.

5. If he’s never been an ass-eater, after having his penis locked up for a few weeks, he will be.

6. It serves as a constant reminder to him of her authority.

7. Because it makes his orgasms entirely dependent on her generosity, it positively incentives him to honor her, respect her, and motivates him to please.

8. It gives him the time and opportunity to substantially improve and perfect his oral skills.

9. It reinforces the idea that pussy is a precious gift that must be earned, and is to be savored and appreciated on those rare occasions when he does get it.

10. It teaches him that sexual activity with his wife or girlfriend doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with his penis.

11. It deepens his submission to her, and will cause him to worship the ground she walks on.

12. It will significantly improve his attitude, and make him more generous, caring, kind, respectful, and loving. It will help soften the sharper edges of his me-first masculinity. It will make him more of a listener than a talker.

13. It helps prepares him for the eventuality of anal penetration, and getting the strap-on. Because his penis isn’t being sexually stimulated, it has the effect of gradually turning other parts of his body into erogenous zones, particularly his anus and his prostate. With patience and persistence, he can be trained to orgasm from stimulation in that region via your finger, or the strap-on.

14. If his orgasms are consistently controlled and severely restricted, he will eventually get to the point where he will do just about anything to cum. You’ll be amazed by what he’ll do for you.

Chastity -  power to the woman

This voluntary act in which the man shows his trust and hands over the key to his most precious possessions to her who will then decide when he is to be released. This is an action which gives enormous power to the woman in a relationship, or the supervisor on our course and it is a gift from him to her.

It is a sexual act which frees him from the ability to pleasure himself and frees him to learn how to please his partner and thus be allowed pleasure himself.

It sounds from this description a strange and “kinky “activity, but surprisingly the approach has wide acceptance as a method to improve male performance and pleasure.

The Mental Game of Chastity

The power exchange exists in the realm of the minds so to the submissive male, being denied can provide him with more mental pleasure and more mental fulfillment than a physical orgasm.

The aroused and denied male will spend more time in subspace and thus his mind will be on a mental sphere where the female rules supreme in his life and he is much more eager to serve the female.

The mental stimulation should touch a man’s psychological triggers, which will stimulate him sexually. It is that mental stimulation that causes an intense power exchange and that can make sex more pleasurable for the woman both physically and mentally while at the same time fulfilling the male need to be dominated.

Chastity and BDSM

Chastity is a fantastic pawn in the BDSM game. It is a great tool for tease and denial, and can be implemented as an incredibly effective punishment/reward scheme. Dominants that have never fully engaged in chastity play, will have almost certainly at some point employed a ‘permission to cum?’ policy. So, what’s the difference? Well chastity play takes this concept one step further and gives the Key Holder full control over their slave’s orgasms. Many people who love to engage in BDSM have not yet discovered the joys of chastity

Locked in Chastity for BDSM

Key Holder is a term used to describe the dominant woman in a male chastity agreement. Many couples are into BDSM and male chastity is one of the many methods that these women use to dominate their men. Some men are more turned on the more they are ordered around.

The woman will tease the man while he has a male chastity device on and she is the only one who has the key to open it and award him with a release. Discuss it with your partner in detail and decide if you want your chastity to be long term or short term.

If you are just starting out, you should ease into it before you commit to being locked in. If you enter into it before you are ready it will likely prolong the process.

“be careful what you wish for”

There is an old saying among those wives who adopted a chastity lifestyle because their husbands encouraged them…”be careful what you wish for”.

If some of the husbands were given a choice to go back to their old ways they would, but none of the wives would.

Deep down the caged men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his.

How to appeal your Tumblr and get it back in 10 min!

I see a lot of people who have blogs marked as explicit ever since the policy change. Or maybe you recently joined Tumblr and now your blog got  flagged & became marked as explicit.

Let’s be real: No one likes to have a blog that looks like total shit. If we all wanted to have a profile that looks the same & boring you would be on Instagram. Btw we also created our Instagram, if you’re interested 😎Additionally having a blogged marked as explicit also means you’re unable to be searched on search engines. This is horrible if you’re trying to grow a page because no one will find you! How lame is that?  

Before we start, this will only work if you’re on a computer! Smartphones/Tablets will not work.

Secondly, you need to delete ALL of your flagged post in the “review flagged post section”. If you have a post you REALLY wanna save, you can simply edit the post and save it to your drafts. 

Anyways, go to https://www.tumblr.com/support then click “my blog has been incorrectly marked as explicit.” I recommend writing a reason, and providing a screenshot. If you’re on a Mac like myself, you can click command-shift-5 to take a screenshot. 

Once you send it, you will literally receive a email within 12 min regarding your appeal. If you did not receive a email within that time frame, Tumblr probably found more flagged post. So you will have to go back to the “review se flagged post” section and start this process again. 

This method 100% works, I’m living proof of it. It took me 26 at one point because Tumblr keeping find old explicit stuff. Normally it takes one try for me. But apparently I had bunch of NSFW post that were not deleted yet.

Then bam! Your Tumblr is back. Let me know if you need help

Sincerely,

-PawgLife

All women should cheat on their husbands

Before Hubby introduced me to his wild fantasies, I never imagined being with anyone other than him. He was the first guy to ever fuck me and I was certain he would be the last one. How happy I am that I was mistaken!

Once I started dating other men, I discovered a whole new world of sensations. I found out that others can stimulate me in ways that Hubby could only dream of, and it helped me explore my sexuality to the fullest. It’s a journey of self-discovery that still keeps surprising and exciting us both, after years of cuckolding. What I’m saying is that it never gets old.

Hubby is probably even happier than I am. All the teasing and denying he gets, knowing that although my heart is his, my body belongs to other men, makes his desire for me go through the roof. I’m the Forbidden Fruit to him, and that fills him with passion and admiration. He treats me like a Goddess, always hoping that in return I’ll allow him to eat my ass, sniff my feet, or clean my freshly fucked pussy.

Cuckolding is simply Heaven, and I think that all women deserve to experience it at some point in their lives.

Ladies, as long as you love your husbands and you wouldn’t leave them for anything in the world, there’s nothing wrong with having some fun on the side. You know you want variety. You need it. Life’s too short to settle for a single man – it can get boring and even depressing someday. You don’t know what you’re missing out on!

Cheating without guilt is the recipe for happiness, and – if your husband is into it – cuckolding will change both of your lives for the better. Counting your lover too, it’s a win-win-win situation.