A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle
So you are now one of the millions of women who have learned she has a husband with fantasies about you having sex with other men. Welcome to our club, hopefully you’re past the shock!
Probably, you were quite unaware that a large percentage of men, your husband being one of them, even had these desires. He wants to share you with other men and women and see you enjoy sex with them!
Aren’t you lucky? Feeling excited? A little nervous too?
It’s okay, women too, just like men, want to explore sexually and have fun. How else did “50 Shades” do so well? We all belong to one of the rare species on the planet where sex is not just a reproductive instinct but an integral part of our being, it is an inseparable mix of need and desire and we cannot change that. Why would we want to?
If you are the adventurous open minded type, and you likely are, you are now contemplating doing what he fantasizes about; being able to enjoy the company of other men; their different personalities and conversations, touch, kisses, bodies, their cocks and ways of fucking which will all enhance the wonderful experience that is your marriage and your life! Trust me, I know. I am a Hotwife; a woman being free to enjoy sex with other men with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement.
If you are brave and adventurous enough and you embark down this path, you will find yourself having more fun, happiness and sexual fulfilment than you ever thought. You will be feeling as confident as you did when you were first married and probably find yourself even more in love with your husband and appreciating him more than ever.
Initially, it might take time before you are completely comfortable describing your fantasies to your hubby, having sex in front of him and enjoying dates with other men without him. To begin with, it is important to go slowly and not rush things, you need to check and nurture your relationship first and foremost. Your husband’s approval and peace of mind is fundamental as most men are unaccustomed to actually sharing their wives even if they have fantasied about it. After all, it is against all that society has groomed him to be; he’ll therefore take some time to overcome his instinctive jealousy and become accustomed to watching or knowing you are being intimate with other men without him.
You must help his mind accept and be happy for you being with other men; make the thoughts as pleasurable for him as they are for you. You should regularly and casually talk sexually about men, women too if you are that way inclined, like I am. Talk about your past sexperiences, thoughts and lovers in detail whilst in bed together; never be at all reserved about this, thinking you are protecting his feelings in one way or another. Tell him in detail about your best times and your favourite men; whilst you both are being intimate have him imagine you with them as well as being with men you actually know.
Once your husband is completely comfortable and happy with this, you can gradually move on to actually dating and fucking other men. This really will become quite natural for you both and providing he never feels neglected, he will let you do anything sexually and will get great sexual satisfaction from your encounters with other men, he will be pleased that you are happy and enjoying. You will discover it will also turn you both on like nothing you’ve ever done before and most importantly, he will be drawn to your womanly sexiness like never before and be more in love with you than at any time in your marriage as your bond strengthens further.
To find your playmates, look at men everywhere, young and old, enjoy looking at them, but don’t always go on looks. Next time you are out shopping or out and about, see if you can find one guy you fancy in some way. If you do, initiate some form of basic conversation. It may be nerve wracking, but do it, you will be happier for it and who knows where it may lead? Visit an adult dating website or a swinger’s club and start interacting with men. Be upfront about your newbie-status and that you’re only dipping your toes at this stage. Get to know some experienced Bulls, most will be more than happy to answer questions and respect your need to explore at your own pace. Try to find men you have a sexual chemistry with, it’s so important. Sexual chemistry isn’t dependent on physical attractiveness. I’ve had sex with many good looking men but felt little to no chemistry with them. The sex was good but it never left me wanting more. In fact, I didn’t care if I never saw them again. Conversely, I’ve slept with men who were more or less average in attractiveness but months later, I find myself daydreaming about them, it’s either there or it isn’t.
The Hotwife lifestyle I can assure anyone that it is a wonderful thing for you and your husband. It takes you away from the routine, like a weekend break or vacation does. You will be intimate with and share another person’s sexuality, looking at a different face and body, hearing a different voice and doing different things with your new lovers that you may not normally do. It will empower you and make you feel different about yourself in a great way. For me, I developed better emotional and physical intimacy with all men, especially my husband, enjoying sex more than ever, making me feel more confident than I ever had done previously.
A husband’s involvement can vary a lot, some Hotwives play completely on their own with no interaction with her hubby, others enjoy their man watching or participating, some do both. All variations on this lifestyle are appropriate, as all couples are unique in what they like, it is up to you. This includes how often the Hotwife dates and or fucks her new male friends. This may be weekly, monthly or just a few times a year, it’s up to you. Remember that open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries and make this lifestyle work for you and your husband. The idea that you are sexy enough to go to another man for your sexual pleasures will drive him crazy with lust for you, trust me! Husbands of Hotwives want to be immersed into their wives’ sexual being completely as they are totally besotted by their wives; they relish the excitement of watching their partner and exploring her sexuality.
After your liaisons with other men, tell him all the intimate details whilst relaxing together, have him stroke himself and imagine you being with your lover whilst you tell him about the event. Don’t hide anything at all, if your lover made you cum with his big cock, say so, hold nothing back at all. This creates a sexually charged experience for you both on a continual basis; this is a special part of the excitement for many couples. A key point when embarking on this lifestyle is that you take control of your sexuality, it revolves around you, the Hotwife, empower yourself within the confines of your happy marriage. So, when you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact way whether he is to be involved or not. If you are having a man over, discuss with your husband him the things he can do to set the tone and create a special night for you both and your lover.
When your lover arrives, things then change; you are his, think about and look after his needs as well as yours. Don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour, everyone knows he’s there for a sexy time. Unashamedly show your desire for the other man, initiate intimacy and even drool over him and make compliments while your husband watches. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him, if you are not alone that is. Treat him like you treated your husband when you first started fucking. Let your naughty slut come out to play with plenty of dirty talk, give him all he wants and experiment a little. Don’t be shy or act inhibited, do anything you want and don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Be sure to let your husband know when you orgasm with your new lover. Continue to pamper your lover exactly as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door. It’s always up to you, you’re the Hotwife, do what turns you on; you are in charge. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting.
After you have been with other men, with your hubby or without him, the next step is very important if you want to keep doing this and ensure your husband is happy supporting your Hotwife lifestyle. So, even if you’re tired, turn all your attention to your husband, become his again, letting him reclaim you as his own as soon as the other man departs. You must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again, making sure he receives the love and pleasure so that he very much desires to watch you do it again and again. Over the next few days, reassure him that you’re his wife forever and remind him that you love the fact that he lets you enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed the time with your lover; replay the night over and over, tell him you can’t wait to do it again and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you.
Emotional attachment with your play dates can and will happen, so be watchful that lines are not crossed. Until you’ve got a better handle on things you should only contact a guy to arrange a date for sexual play. I’ve crossed the line in the past so I’m wary of repeating mistakes, common sense prevails here. . If a guy insists on more contact in between dates because he otherwise feels ‘used’, then I recommend moving on. It doesn’t have to be all clinical either, a little contact and “closeness” between a Hotwife and her playfriends is more than appropriate and in many cases quite essential to build up some excitement before a meet. Even if I haven’t had contact with an out-of-town playmate for months, in the lead up to a date, we’ll exchange quite a few flirty and dirty text messages. There’s nothing like anticipation right? In fact, I would feel a bit weird jumping straight into bed with a guy without stoking the fire first. My husband actually likes building up some excitement and energy before a date so he thinks it’s more than fine to communicate or even see him for a drink or two first.
This lifestyle is about living life to the full, however, you will be unsure at times. What is needed is for you both to take time to acclimatise to this new sexual way of living, so, pause and reflect. Ask yourselves some pertinent questions and then continue living the lifestyle or move on from it, maybe it’s just a break that is required. You must also remember that all women have phases of feeling unsexy and it occasionally takes time and a little effort to lure the sex goddess within you out to play, this is normal. Do not give up or cancel a playdate unless really necessary, persevere and stay on course. Hotwifing in itself is very good for a woman’s self-esteem but unless you feel confident about yourself, you won’t enjoy the experience as much as you should. Pamper and treat yourself to sexy underwear or something that makes you feel good. Men are definitely turned on by happy women. Remember that you are probably your harshest critic so take it easy on yourself.
A word sometimes used to describe husbands in this alternative lifestyle, including mine, is “Stag”. This is a man who shares his woman, but without accepting being treated as a subordinate in any way by his wife and lover. Those who do enjoy this are known as Cuckolds and their activities cross over into the Sado-Masochism (S&M) lifestyle, different to what I’m talking about here. The men who entertain Hotwives (also known as Vixens) are called Bulls or perhaps more realistically, her lovers, playfriends or playdates.
Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your Stag for weeks after he watches or hears about you fucking other men, he will naturally be more attentive and loving than he was before you started being his Hotwife for real, not just in his fantasies. The lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever imagined together, there is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. One life, be happy together!
Take the time to compliment Her (Sincerely)
Make Her day as easy as possible ( be thoughtful)
Listen to Her wants, needs and desires
Learn to do household chores
Complete those chores exactly how She does
Send Her a text at random times telling Her you are thinking of Her
Stop talking and begin Listening
Learn Her body& needs
Put Her feelings first
Communicate
Don’t doubt Her. EVER!
Don’t become lazy in your approach (chase Her)
Learn Her preference in romance
Never ever think with your Dick.
I repeat that. NEVER THINK WITH YOUR DICK
Take care of yourself. ( You are a reflection of Her)
Groom yourself according to Her preference
Be open to change if needed
Be proud of Alpha!!! She is rare and needs to be treated as such!
I am so thankful for my Alpha and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t in some way acknowledge that. Be creative a bath bomb from Lush after Her long day or challenging day goes a LONG way in helping Her relax. Learning housework Her way so when She comes home She doesn’t have the stress of redoing whatever you tried to do. Don’t go overboard in fact make sure it’s genuine , but tell Her how good She looks. When I began showing DAILY this was who I am as a beta husband, She really let go of holding back. Yes by the way, I am also a Alpha Man in the outside of my Wife’s fortress. I realize that a lot of guys want to go straight to asking to chastity and FLR dynamics. But take your time and prove who you are. Then after 90 days or even a 6 month time of being consistent in your discipline approach Her with Chastity and Her taking the Lead. Thank you for reading my post everyone feel free to contact us. Be safe and healthy. beta Tyler
We need to get this clock...
I get a lot of questions about the benefits for me and for my husband about the benefits of structured orgasm control as part of addressing the issue of “mismatched libidos” in heterosexual relationships. For many people, as soon as they make a start on this journey, a range of benefits become clear pretty quickly. So, in this case, I believe the requests for providing a list benefits are for people who are still in the process of deciding if this approach is for them.
The short answer is - yes, your life (and sex life) will change for the better. Give it a try.
The second short answer - yes, use a chastity cage. While it is possible to practise orgasm control without one, the benefits for you, but especially for him, of using a chastity cage are exponential. Perhaps the list of benefits below will elucidate why:
In most heterosexual, long-term relationships, women have a significantly lower sex drive than their male partners. Men have less sex than they would ideally like. In this sense, marriage means that females control the allocation of sex. Already. However, without a deliberate structure and communication around the element of this control, the mismatched libido is interpreted by the male as ‘neglect’ or the feeling of not being desired. This can drive the male to pornography, masturbation or ‘nagging for sex’, which puts unwanted pressure on you, and is a serious turn-off.
When orgasm control is discussed and structured as part of the couple’s sexual dynamic, the male’s perception moves from being ‘neglected’ to ‘controlled’. The latter is highly arousing, and the sexual dynamics flips on its head. By controlling his sexual release, you as a couple are indicating that it has a ‘value’ far greater than when he is simply free to masturbate at will. His greatest physical reward, and the oxytocin, bonding, dopamine rush that follows becomes linked to you, not to Pornhub.
Orgasm control is about controlling the MALE orgasm, not yours. The worst thing you can do is be sexually inactive between release windows. Rather just call the whole thing off now - it will not work.
Rather, you can and should have frequent orgasms - and he will love giving them to you. My partner and I have sex frequently outside of his release window. I unlock him and we have standard sex - the only difference is that he is not allowed to cum. He goes slower, uses toys, users his hands and tongue - whatever he needs to do to follow the rules - and I can deliciously and *selfishly* enjoy it. Once we're done, he is locked back up until next time.
This is what he expects and desires - don't feel bad for one second. Stop thinking in the old school "Sex is about the male being satisfied" mindset. It is mindblowing for him in every way - both mentally and physically.
As has been said on this blog before, males are programmed to ‘move on’ emotionally after ejaculating. Orgasm leads to a spike in prolactin which is a ‘shut off valve’ for intimacy and sexual desire. Frequent masturbation is therefore a total intimacy killer. Controlling the male orgasm leads to increases in oxytocin focused on you as his key objects of desire. He is heavily sexually aroused and his desire for you will skyrocket. Now, he is fully aware that he can’t do anything about it until his scheduled release, so it translates as increased intimacy, and increased energy for other things.
Modern marriages are defined by women ‘feeling bad’ every time they are not up for sex. The perception of old-world society is that it is the women’s duty to provide sex whenever the male desires. With chastity and orgasm control, this is completely reversed. Sex is not the goal, and the ongoing sexual rush of the denial is what the male will savor the most.
We have PIV (penis in vagina) sex frequently. Most often this is outside of his release window, so he knows that he is not allowed to orgasm, and after I am finished, he is re-locked. It's a mind-screw and a challenge for him, but he absolutely LOVES it!
With him in chastity, I can do all of this without really having to do much. A bit of attention here and there, a bit of teasing and he is at a constant, positive simmer. It is about communication, structure and commitment.
When I do allow him an orgasm, this too can be as effortless as you could possibly imagine. On release days, his excitement is so high that bringing him to climax can take as little as a few seconds. This is about “release” - after weeks locked up he will not be able to last very long. Sometimes he will cum just by taking the cage off... In which case, job done 😂.
I usually start by having him bring me to orgasm as usual - with his tongue, hands or a toy. Now it's his turn (for once!).
First decision - do you want him to have his release while in the cage or unlocked?
Caged: it's about balls and nipples. I recommend one hand plays with his nips while the other pulls, squeezes and strokes his balls. Then begin tapping his balls at a regular rhythm, building intensity slowly. Tell him he has permission to cum... Keep tapping and in a few minutes he will come to the edge. He is to ask permission one more time before he about to cum. As he is coming, tap / slap harder until he is finished.
Unlocked: Take off the cage, grip his balls tightly and pull them away from his body, back and forth. Try to touch his nub as little as possible. At most, use a slow, infrequent stroke with a single finger from the base of his nub up the shaft to the tip. He must ask permission just as he is about to cum. At this point, tighten your grip and pull his balls away from his body and hold them there until he is finished.
Tip 1: If you do unlock him for release, always relock directly after he orgasms. This significantly reduces the "drop" he will experience after orgasm and will push him through the 2-3 grouchiness period much smoother. He loves it if I put the cage on him, but if you prefer he locks himself, straight after his release, firmly tell him that it's time to go back in the cage.
Tip 2: Feed it to him! Tell him to clean up with his tongue or at least lick it off your hand. Recycling is important 😂.
I think of chastity cages as jewellery which is very aesthetically pleasing. Unlocked penises flop about, lean to one side, grow and shrink unpredictably and are often pretty badly manicured. When locked in a cage, everything is so neat. Males will need to do a bit of gardening down there to make it as comfortable as possible. Everything is held in place. His nub is encased and immobilized. His balls are held tight and presented forward. He will want to wear tight underwear or swimwear for comfort purposes, which presents such a neat little package. Every time I see the cage I am reminded that he is doing this for me, and I get a little shiver down my spine. It just looks better, and I love it!
Males think about sex all the time. The vast majority of sexual thoughts and corresponding erections go completely ignored. When locked in chastity, these sexual thoughts (and erections) are contained, and are linked to you as the keyholder. This is highly arousing for the male, and will feel like direct attention from you - even though you may not even be in the same postcode. The cage works for you full-time, and is there whenever the male is aroused. Extremely powerful!
The chastity cage helps males to stick to the rules. Most males masturbate significantly more than you will ever imagine. For the vast majority, they will NEVER have gone 21 days or more without masturbating since they first discovered it in their teens. With a cage, masturbation is simply off the table. They must direct this energy elsewhere. Which leads to :
All of this extra energy must go somewhere, and in most cases, this is directed to physical exercise and conditioning. Many women report that time in chastity has lead to significant weight loss and body sculpting in their males. Motivation and drive are seriously tangible chastity benefits that you will notice as little as 7 days in.
Oxytocin is the courting hormone. Increases in this wonder drug caused by orgasm control will often lead to a far more focused, attentive and service-oriented mentality. Whether conscious on his part or not, I notice a happier, more helpful male, with a higher attention-to-detail and eagerness to please. Use this as you see fit!
Most importantly, chastity and orgasm denial will improve your sex life. Sex does not equate to penetration anymore, although it certainly can if you wish. Unlock him at any point in the schedule for sex of you're keen for it - it's just that outside of the release window, he will have to find a way not to orgasm. You are the focus until his release date!
Most importantly, "sex" in long-term marriages is about sexual interaction - intimacy, honesty, communication and care. This is why you are doing this in the first place. Rewire your thinking as a couple, and become a highly engaged, balanced and aligned sexual partnership.
These are just some of the many benefits that are associated with the exciting journey of male orgasm control. Drop some more in the comments and I can add to this ever-growing list.
So the guy my wife targeted actually made her doubt whether she wanted to go through with it. As a result, we have slowed down and she has not fully cuckolded me yet (by fucking). There has been a lot of kissing and groping, however, and she informed me this morning that there is a strong chance that she will suck his dick this week. It still seems that she is intent on fully entering the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle. She's just entering more gradually... I do still suffer from raging emotions when she is out with him. I hope they will always continue (don't ever want to be nonchalant about it), but at an abated, manageable level.
More truth. Learn this, ladies, and you can have whatever you want...including the most loving, sexually charged, satisfying relationship of anyone you know.
The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”. Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?
Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures. They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom. Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”. With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner. Is this really true, though? Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”? Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?
Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night. While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.
As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually. This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive. So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?
He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It
As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”. We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why? Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there. So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”. Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women. Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?
For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered. Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy. It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy. It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again. Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.
The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it
You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”. I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t. That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.
Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us. These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”. It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.
So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways. Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”. Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge. This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation. Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc. These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.
The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You
Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here… The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you. His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed. I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were. I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.
We’re women. We are strong and capable and we are smart. And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be. Where do we want to be? We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.
Happy Hotwifing!
-S
All you faithful readers know I’m a big fan of knocking on a girl’s back door. It feels great. It’s naughty. What’s not to like about it?
Nothing… for the guy.
For the girl, anal can often be traumatic. I’ve posted a bunch of times on how to prepare for anal sex. You can type “anal” in my search bar and get a ton of info. But let me highlight some things:
Anal sex requires preparation to keep it from being messy.
Anal sex requires relaxation and trust. If the girl isn’t relaxed… if she tenses up… that’s when it hurts.
Anal sex requires a lot of lube. LOTS of lube.
Anal sex requires you to begin small. A finger in the ass. Then two fingers. Then your cock.
Anal sex requires you to start slow. Slide it in and pump with short, slow strokes.
Anal sex requires foreplay. Because again, a woman needs to be really relaxed and into it before her ass will open.
What I haven’t written about in much detail is good positions for anal. I’ve said, “If it hurts, try the woman on top.” But beyond that, nothing much. That changes with this post.
I want to share with you ten positions that can be great for anal. They’re great for a variety of reasons: intimacy, pleasure for him, pleasure for her, comfort, etc. I’ll spell out the benefits of each one. They are listed in no particular order. But if you read the articles about preparing for anal that I have written and then learn these ten positions, I guarantee you that you can comfortably (and erotically!) add this very enjoyable aspect to your sex life.
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THE REVERSE COWGIRL RUMP RIDER
He lies on his back, legs together. She straddles him, facing away and bounces with his dong-a-long in her bonk-a-donk.
This position is great for her, not only because it lets her control how deep and fast her ass is being fucked, but also because it provides a great angle. He’s going straight in, with a slight upward press. Should be comfortable.
It’s a great position for him because of the view - her bulbous back pillows being split by his love meat.
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THE SPHINCTER SPOON
The key to this spooning technique is that the girl pulls her legs up close to her chest, maybe using her arms behind her knees to hold them. When the legs are pulled up like that, the external spincter muscle (i.e. the asshole) loosens some.
When the guy slides in, he goes as deep as possible. But motion is limited.
This position is all about intimacy. There is a ton of body contact. He can whisper in her ear or kiss her neck. Guys, you also can play with her nipples or even reach between her legs and rub gently.
This is a great starter position for the first anal of the night, precisely because there isn’t much motion. It lets her slowly relax her booty.
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THE SUPER SODOMY SIDE SLIDE
In this position, the girl lies facedown, then pulls one leg up some. So her one leg is straight down. With her other leg, she’s pulled her knee up close to even with her waist. This tilts her slightly onto her side. The guy then straddles the one leg that is straight down. He spreads her cheeks, and slides in.
What makes this position great for her is how relaxing it is. He can rub her back while he’s fucking her ass. It also doesn’t allow for very deep penetration.
For him there are two pleasures. First, as he pumps, his scrotum is going to be rubbing against the smooth skin on the back of her leg. It feels amazing. Secondly, each time he thrusts in, her one butt cheek - the one of the leg that is straight out - is going to hit him right in what is sometimes called the “inguinal canal” area, where the guy’s leg meets his torso. The firm but soft tush pressing in there… fuck! Feel so good!
Guys, an added little treat for her… She she first gets in this position, get down there, slide a finger in her vajayjay, palm facing down, curling the finger slightly. That will place your fingertip on her g-spot. While you work the finger in and out, let your tongue press on her asshole, just causing it to spread a little. She’ll love it.
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THE DALLYING IN HER DERRIERE
This is a lovely, slow, lazy way to pump her rump. You are on her side. She is on her back, with her legs hitched over you. She can keep them together or spread them apart, depending on what she finds more comfortable.
This is also a very intimate position, as it allows you to see each other’s faces. Motion is limited, as her legs hooked over him prevent him from pumping too hard. He can play with her chest or her clit. She can reach down and rub his balls while he fucks her.
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THE ASS-N-CLITTY
Another variation of women-on top. The girl straddles the guy, cowgirl style, facing him, her knees wide apart. She puts his hotdog in her buns, then leans back, using her hands for support. And she bounces and bounces and bounces.
The plus for her is that she gets to control tempo and depth. And again, it’s a great angle - straight up her dark tunnel.
In addition, in that position her guy has clear access to her clitty-cat. He can pet it. Guys, in this position, I recommend using your thumb. Lick it so it’s slick. Then press it down on top of her clit and roll it, like a pea bring rolled under your finger.
Or you can take a finger and curl it in, making a “come here” motion. That puts your finger on her g-spot. Again, roll it around like a pea under your fingertip.
For guys, not only do you have an amazing view, but it actually is a very tight fit. With her knees apart like that, her glute muscles get pushed together. Thus, your shaft is cradled in soft butt cheek. Feels amazing.
True story. I have had a girlfriend squirt all over my abs in this position while I was in her ass.
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THE CATHOLIC BIRTH CONTROL
You wouldn’t think missionary position would be great for anal, but it really, really is. However, you probably need to have her hips tilted up. You can do this simply by placing a few pillows under her hips.
This is another position aimed at intimacy. The couple can kiss and caress even as he’s tapping her tushie.
This position also allows for only shallow penetration, thus it’s great for a girl who, try as she might, believes she can only take the tip. It’s also great for a guy who is well endowed, as maybe only the first two or three inches will get in.
Guys, be careful in this position. It’s easy to slip out. And what can really hurt a girl is when you slip out and then don’t aim carefully when you slide back in. It forces her anus to stretch in funny ways! No bueno.
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THE HERO, POOTER-POUNDER STYLE
In the kamasutra, “the Hero” position is woman on her back, with her legs pulled up to the degree that her pelvis tilts up. This can be done a variety of ways. She can grab under he knees and pull them back. He can grab her ankles and push them back. The point is, her legs are in the air, spread apart, and her hips are tilted up. This gives him a straight shot to her pooter-palace!
After six positions which were more gentle, we now get to the ones which will be a bit harder. Thus, it requires a bit more experience. These are anal positions you might try after you have being doing one of the first six for awhile. So your rump is all relaxed and ready for a good ramming. ;)
For the girls, the fun part of this position is that as well as any of them, you have access to your sugared almond. While your man drills your dumper, rub that thing like you are a DJ and it’s god-damned New Years Eve. You might cum.
Guys, you need to understand that with her hips tilted and legs spread, you could go really, really deep. That’s great, if she says it’s great. If not, then this is a position where you have to exercise self control and only use the first four inches or so.
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THE DOGGY IN THE DONK
I don’t want to exaggerate here, so I’ll say it carefully. This is the biggest fantasy of every man on earth. There is nothing like getting a hot girl face down, ass up, and smashing her onion.
What does this give to the guys? The best site on earth. When you can see your cock sliding in and out, wedged between those breathtaking cheeks… when that booty meet shakes with each thrust, a slight ripple working through each one… wow. I have a tear in my eye just thinking about it.
In addition to the view, if the girl has warmed up to anal and can handle it, this is the position in which the guy can go his hardest. The angle of his cock in her ass, especially if she puts her chest down on the bed, is such that it is a very, very smooth fit. Her rectum is in its natural position. So he can grab her hips and pound away.
For the girl, doggystyle anal can be either heaven or purgatory. He’s going to be deep in your ass. But in this position, he stimulates some of the nerves that are actually located in the vaginal wall. If a girl is going to cum during anal, this position will probably be it. While the guy is reaming her from behind, she’ll reach down and play with her clit. If she can cum this way, it will be so intense her back might break.
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THE BEST LAP DANCE EVER
This is yet another woman on top position. The man sits in a chair. Guys, use a kitchen chair, not a big ass recliner. It gives you more range of motion. The woman come and sits on his lap, with his man-meat in her moneymaker.
There are two variations to this. The woman can put her legs between his legs. If she does this, she can put her hands on his knees and bounce. Or the woman can put her legs outside his. Unless she has really long legs, she might not be able to bounce as well. But she can grind and rock. It’s a amazing sensation when you grind in that position, ladies! It’s like you are trying to break our cock off inside your can.
Guys, if she goes with her legs outside yours, why not reach around and flick her on-off switch lightly. It’s ether that your you make it rain!
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THE 3AM AT DANIEL’S HOUSE
This is a variation on doggystyle - doing it while standing, with the woman bent over something. It’s one of my favorites, hence the name. (Back off! When you get your own blog, you can name sex positions after yourself too!)
It’s a really comfortable position for the woman. She’s braced on a chair or couch. She might even be able to rest on it. A variation is if she picks up one leg and rests her knee on the object. A good example of that is a bathroom counter. She leans over it and puts one knee up on it while I explore her third-entry.
It’s great for the guy for the same reason doggystyle is. It’s a nice view. He can grab the hips and go hard. Because it’s a comfortable position, it’s also great for prolonged anal. There’s no need to pound out your nut in 30 seconds. Get her in this position and spend a good 20 minutes working her bubble over.
This position can also be very pleasurable for the woman too. There is a muscle cluster that starts in your lower back, runs through the glutes, and down the back of the legs to the heel. That’s why if you walk funny in a bad shoe, it can hurt your back. It’s the longest muscle cluster in the human body. When a girl is bent over like this, that muscle cluster is tight. And so as she tenses her anus slightly (which is natural to do as your ass is being fucked), she’ll feel that through her entire lower body. And guys, if you can reach around and play with her clit and make her cum in this position, she can collapse. The shudder it sends through her legs literally floors her.
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And there you have it, faithful readers. Is this every anal position I know. Please! I’m Daniel Fucking Davis. This is the tip of the iceberg. But hopefully if you like these, you can put your own spins and variances on them, and have plenty of variety to your hot, hot booty sex!
Now, if you like this, please reblog! Cause let’s face it. This is good advice.
Credit for all the illustrations goes to wewomen.com. They have their own take on “best of” positions. I just used their illustrations, which I thought were cute!
This is on the to do list
#GeekPorn
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